A Disciple's Thread

All I know is I had a bad dream, my head burned off, I moved back home, traced 1000 confessions started writing then my step dad got rid of the computer said it was broken and got a new one… I started dressing tacky feeling like 1000 different people - was closing my eyes letting go of my steering wheel looking for angels that retarded and shit - my mom took me to psych I took one pill and it was all gone that’s like 2004 I think

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I lost my job at ibm

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Got back up… then came 05 06… I think I got sick more cause I heard about Juno and not the witchcraft of a crazy stupid bitch

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They had me so confused even I doubted myself for shit I know for facts not… they still in my dreams saying I’ll be happy and have money again… HELL TO THE FUCK NO

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I refuse to compromise… get their religion off me and tell me wtf is really going on… why can’t anyone tell me that?

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I’m going to try to sleep

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It’s like you’re in your own world hallucinating and every thing lines up so it can only be god… but fear straight fear - I remember locking myself in the gas station with my phone trying to call my grandma cause I didn’t want to go to mental

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You have no control over yourself and you black out for days in there - all black like sleeping when you don’t dream

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Gas station bathroom*

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My shadows run me… that time it was like a map of shadows on the wall

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Idk what they did to be honest

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One time I snapped myself out cause I couldn’t control laughing in front of the retafded kid literally - I had to go outside to breathe - I was with my sister

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Run me nah I just meant when I got lost and crying in a parking lot for 45 minutes it was a jump in, duh, type home on my navigation

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Got home my mom came in my room and I had to go to mental

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Nah they do it for fun but it’s a legit mental issue too - so I’m tag teamed with no help to and by too

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NO way in hell

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My old friends did it for fun… they’d call my mom and lied on me

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Or the suicide note I never wrote

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It’s like being forced into a world you don’t want to be in and you’re less than to people who are less than

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If you don’t walk in my scars then don’t come to my field

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you may want to be friends but I don’t

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Why am I so powerless over them?

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Idk how to think first… I just react at first

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Then I think… then I speak… it’s a super slow process

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I want to cross back over and only hallucinate for a reason

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It feels like my life has been sacrificed to them and it’s not fair

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I didnt get anything I wanted and it’s not fair… not gonna lie I had an ok lite until mb2010

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But my family is what I wanted more than anything

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Life*

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I don’t like the ones that are stronger than me

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Trying to get mine back and don’t understand why they’re not

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why do I feel tied by these bitches?

I am SO proud of Nico

https://youtu.be/H13BH2q79Mk

https://youtu.be/IXEGw3ZsFVM?si=XwKa0ACOjqYZS7pQ

I love all the new pac remixes

Why my shit always go missing… where is ready or not?

Hi 24 people reading this… trying to prove to my bf that people will listen to me and help

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City of Gods? I put my Nextel in the bushes and shocked them

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I’m cooled off

That was just a 10 year tour… who is still here? @Candy

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I kNOW I was shot… how they get away with that too… and it’s only until it’s your turn to be black mailed… once you stop paying like my dad and puffy

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It’s gonna be your turn and that’s why they mad… I lived my life the best I could and they have nothing on me

witty still comes around.. queen still in love others like ten people or so so you still got activity and your avy is dope

https://youtu.be/7dVUSnfiJIA?si=7sZpb1mIH_xc2YYh

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@Candy thanks!!!

love you

@Candy sweet candy… thanks for hanging with me on this site… you’re numbers are killing them

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I haven’t been writing that much lately but am gonna start again

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@Candy did I show you this?

https://youtu.be/H13BH2q79Mk My nephew is the guitarist with long beard… I’m SOOOO proud of him

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https://youtu.be/1CS9F1zk1CQ?si=avagm9rqT1hEY05X

I’m so confused

yeh its been fun pretty girl keep it real your grown soo much

https://youtu.be/dpmAY059TTY

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Oh… snap. Remember when I was in the sky and cried listening to Paul wall cause I felt so fake… now I’m so confused cause me now? Me myself and I don’t even know who I am anymore either and it’s like… I know who and what I’m not and sewing me back together again! I know now why I wore jeans under my dress at the fireworks. I don’t wanna disrespect my bf but pray for me pray for us like secrets vs privacy… but…

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My hell mate and you cheating are why it never worked cause the only time… forget it… it if I ever hit I owe you rent for a year! You still played me… I just didn’t know it and was too busy to not trust or take you at your word

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Didn’t type that*

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About my hell mate… I don’t want to and don’t have to share my body… no it’s mine my mom and god gave it to me NOT wetfjgo

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I don’t like it and I don’t want to

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Get that fucking witch off me though… I rather be dead then to have my life revolve around her and them

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I’m sorry I baked a cake with peanut oil in it in case it was you

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If you really want to help… just make them stop!!! Are you the baby daddy or Tony type stupid bitch

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Smoked… trying to think more before I speak

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Idk who was getting in and and out my apt

That leather make in the rice? I know you know something about this stuff and pls just get all my old friends and anyone affiliated in any role or way

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Type or way*

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I’m getting pissed cause there is nothing they can offer me and I won’t

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They need to stop trying

https://youtu.be/IHagxgE30Jk

Pac, my bf is giving me so much hell over my petty powder issue that’s been checked by 75% - I got mad and I told him and my therapist that it counter acts that fog that all my psych meds give me… I take them at night but still feel the haze… what the hell is wrong with 2 bumps in the morning and the other 2 before my shower??? It’s like everyone has this hate for it and like get for real for real - I don’t drink and I’m not that into smoking weed either - and I wasn’t the type to experiment with drugs either

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I hate feeling drugged up

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It’s actually very sobering… my boy told me it was issued in the military for the exact same reason. Now I’m not trying to promote the shit unless you are in the fog and you can’t stand the way it feels

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My bf just hung up on me cause he called my name 3x and I was all laid di da da don’t notice - just took my meds

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It was funny in group how they noted I was doing so good that day early and all… I was gonna say hence

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If it will help my people yeah I support it