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Well Brix, Im very glad you are a member of Po'Ethics along with me.
This title, or concept is what first attracted me to this thread, Im thinking its interesting, and I feel bored, so I read a couple lines, by the time Im starting to recap on what Ive read so far, I was done. My eyes did not leave the screen for the 5 minutes I read. Your structure was perfect, no flaws when it came to that, so it definatly helped me follow along. Your multies were phat, I meen, straight gangsta, lol. They kept consistive throughout the whole peice, without ever being choppy. The flow was stayin nice and sweet. Your imagiry was probly your strong point, I totally knew what you were trying to tell your reader(s) shit was nice. Next, your vocab, nothing bad, used nice adultary words, kept it interesting. Some kids who read this might think they get it but really, its hard to grasp the concept, a titles a title, but you have to know what the reader is telling you, in which I got very well. Great job.
Overall, this shit was just awsome to me, I dont know if its HoF worthy, but I loved the way you expressed your shit man. Keep that shit up, Im looking forward to seeing more from you in the future. Great job.
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Ok to me,not the best I've seen,but it was cool.The rhyme scheme was good,and the vocab and rhymes were ok.The emotion was really smooth and the flow was as well.I liked the way it kinda was like poetry,so i felt that alot.
The way you ended it was nice.everything stayed on topic.It was smooth and very easy to read.
Please check: "Cursed"
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It's not the best, but it was really good...that genocide shits kinda true, you got a good storyline going on here along with good wordplay. Flow was decent, fell off in some places but still good. Some forced wordplay which shows you cared about the story and not just rhyming shit together. You did decent here, Good job.
~Nash
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...98#post3778098
Hit it...^^
