wow nigga that shit was deep man... u got sum crazy ass skills... do i c a new pac in da houssse??? yea i think i do and it's u muthafucka... awesome shit right there man u lay it down nice and simple... awesome
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wow nigga that shit was deep man... u got sum crazy ass skills... do i c a new pac in da houssse??? yea i think i do and it's u muthafucka... awesome shit right there man u lay it down nice and simple... awesome
lmfao at new 2pac...word to that ha.
im kweli fool
bounce.
This was sick.
The topic was good.. the flow was on target..
The transition from lines made for a nice read..
Imagery and emotion were dope as well..
Just an overall tight drop..
Keep it up yo.
Also, being that this is almost up to my level of topical writing, i must say it deserves a spot in legends.
When a drop gets to 4 pages, pretty much everythings been said....
but this was nice....
"Thundering pains in my head, from powders ive snorted
I don’t do it for the image, but to get that image distorted"
that was my favorite bar right there....the wording and message
were so nice vocab and wordchoice were nicely done..overall a
dope piece...OMHOF without a doubt
peep this please http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176291
This was a great drop
Loved everythin' about it
Deep too right on love deep drops
keep up
peace
wat more can I say
I dont really read OM's or topicals that much. but this was aiight
I vote pick up a mic and flow that shit
quality doesnt matter, just rap it over a beat and it'll be almost a kajillion times better.
it was aiight, none the less.
keep droppin
yea, i thought it was a decent piece. overall, to me it was a decent read. nothing all that great in my mind but it was good. i really did enjoy it, but you've heard enough praise over the piece, you need to know the flaws. look..
I lust for the depression, the aggression art holds
The obsession to make an impression as a possession unfolds
^that, right there, i know what you're thinking. you're wanting to establish a flow. but, you know how many times people have used those words in a the same way you did? not that it's bad, it's just something i've seen from a lot of people.
other things i noticed...the ending rhyme was always really simple. nothing ever got creative with the end rhyme. and personally, while i read it, it seemed like you forced a couple things.
none the less, it was a good, emotional, and strong piece. i've just got to say, it isn't legendary and blah blah as other people said. don't let that get you too hyped up. well maybe it is, maybe it's just me who didn't feel it that way. but anyways, good job and keep at it.
that was incredable
wow, great shit
i loved it
thanks everyone..kerr stay up....last up yo.
This wasn't legendary by a long shot. Not complex enough, & the message just wasn't there.
And return the fav on the link I posted you hoe.
I switched from a pen to a pencil as my writing utinsal/ Just to stinsil these symbols, my fuckin lyrical sylobals/ An unbelievable miracle, on the mic I'm invincible/ In real life I'm a criminal, fuck this life it's not critical/ But it's official; I resemble a ghost, yea I'm invisible/ Not seen by most even though my fuckin' image is literal/ It's inevitable, I'm just a regular dust covered pebble/ But it's what ever, pull my lever and behold stormy weather/ Man I won't ever rest in piece, my fuckin' spirit can't settle/ Cause I'm a full kettle, mixed lava and relish/ It's foolish, I use too many narcotics, its stupid/ You knew this bitch, don't apologize, it's useless/ I'm loosin' my mother fuckin' patience with you trick/ click..click..boom, commit a murder it's through/ Admit I triggered at you, stuck in this prison I'm blue/ I just blew..see the results of what this finger can do.
Ill drop K. I think it's pne of the best i've seen from u. I could really elate to this because I often wonder if I've been through enough "hard time" to really be a good artist lyricaly and I thnk u tapped into that idea. Was really impressive and worthy of all the Open Mic nominations it recieved. Be lookn fo r ur next post.
Opener was Ill:
I lust for the depression, the aggression art holds
The obsession to make an impression as a possession unfolds
The moulds of a true artist, I let my mind go wondering
Sometimes opens my eyes to success, or I go blind from blundering
DONT keep using all those -ings and -ions rhymes, they are so terribly basic I hate them. If anything, they take away from the effort you put into this.
Just a word of advice ..
thanks.
Damn K I dont think that I have really read anything from you before and this piece was crazy. I agree with what wicked said to you early'r I think that you are one of the top topical heads on the sight. It would be good if you joined SS. Damn that would so much more competition to the table. But this piece was real nice the flow was real nice but the one thing in this piece that was outstanding was the emotion and details and how you made the reader feel when they read this piece, amazing.
dope thanks alot man....hit me up on aim
nerd...get a job
K wat a great name...
ha you will be banned fag
Quit upping this shit and write another piece, ho.
this was actually pretty dope, from emotion to imagery.. to a solid flow and solid content, nice vocab too..
I need to be an artist because art is an art in its self
^that shit was ill as fuck..
Ive screwed rings of companions up,
Friends have been lost forever
I’m hoping that like my art, I rip them
Then they come back together,
My head is the weather, but rains what it often releases
Art was my confidence boost, delivered messages in my pieces
It increases my amount of depression, I have an obsession for pain
My minds on a simple plain but far from simple and plain
Cocaine assists this chalk to the paper, makes inspiration flow
Without it my mind is blank like this paper, allows the foundation to grow
yeh, thats dope. along with the entire piece, nothing much to say.. i'ma actualy keep rereading this, simply because you know why, anyways, good shit, keep droppin nahsayen. pz.
it sounded great.i need to get better
cool shit duud ,
well i havent seen it yet and i just saw the link in the RB mag, so i decided to check it and im glad i did, i liked it alot and i loved the style you used to write it, i liked the flow and the way the topic was hit on. good job. :)
yo that was the ill... the vocab was perfect.. and the imagery and descriptions were amazing... 11/10
I lust for the depression, the aggression art holds
The obsession to make an impression as a possession unfolds
This joint was hell fire even the first lines were hott..
Keep doin ya thing cuz
HOOOOLLLY HELLLL................damn....just damn. Super mad props. *blinks in disbelief*
this is one of the best pieces i've seen in a long time...i didn't think it was incredibly deep...because I believe what you have expressed is something that a lot of artists feel...people who draw, because they love colors, or people who write because they love expression, all feel this way...so it's not the fact that it was deep that made this piece so incredibly good...it was the way you pronounced this piece..the way it was written made everything a little easier to sit back and say "yeah, this is the truest shit i've ever read"
very good piece...i don't have a link...because I'm lazy..but if you come across it..check my half ass piece "Before eden"
2 fingers 1 love
Can you return the favour and hit up my piece...
Link in my sig. Thanks
Voice?Quote:
Originally Posted by SpokenOrigami
Tone??
Was this an audio???
Because if it is, then this was good and I wanna hear it.