Word lol
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His loss. You’re perfect baby
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Atta boy
Anytime
https://youtu.be/cgTvT2CvUCc?si=svJVeJlltKP7WnbY
This clips reminds me of this site…
When are leagues getting back up? I just don’t like the diss ones… I’m not good at that
Good morning…
https://youtu.be/cgTvT2CvUCc?si=svJVeJlltKP7WnbY
TOURNEY SIGNUPS ARE OPEN FOR THE TOPICAL THING
https://youtu.be/cx9DZuPseNQ?si=UdEwSbHmosP_bM3u
@baron _mynd where do I go?
All I Want is You
I told him I wanna write and try to make us some money
Then he said and ruin it to plaster your face like he so dang fucking funny
That’s whats up? putting me in 2nd place?
If I go looking for answers I mean it
Let me know if it’s me he fitten to replace
All dates due
Check baby… check mate please come back
Please don’t eject right before that take back stack
Money teaching us to how to love when we all in
Ok… ok… marriage? I may be stalling
It’s not that im afraid of love
It’s just like he oj and always has a glove
But being his friend is making him evil
Really… It’s an emotional upheaval
Playa way and any way
Bang bang…
Come back baby… please… come back baby boomerang
https://youtu.be/LN0D2FT54A0?si=YExUwUbIfP1EPwzZ
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I was like 30-35 yrs old in my Saturn skye drop top at a light and Paul wall sittin sideways came on… I looked down and I was sitting sideways and I started crying and screamed I feel like the fakest bitch in the whole world… that’s why and when I moved back to the hood with my moms too
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Plus the bipolar turned depressive not manic and I wanted to be close to my mom dealing with that mentally and I was right… the manic I can handle but the depression? Nah that’s an entire different beast… for a suicide survivor too?!!?? One night a took a knife out pressed it to my wrist and just started crying and screaming to god I can’t make it. But I did…
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I don’t like suicide but I understand it… it doesn’t make you weak… quite the opposite but I was always like if someone trying to kill you, you gonna fight! Why you don’t wanna fight now?
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I aced a computer test by accident when I was 19 and got into IBM. I mean if that’s why they say wishers don’t earn it… I made sure I did… while working I went back to college and graduated with a 3.65gpa and an AAS
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Took me 6 years and I worked MY ASS off but I did it
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Now? Me and computers? Can’t stand them… they remind me that I’m sick and get confused now. That’s why I won’t fuck with them no more…
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They remind me I’m sick now…
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Writing though? If I can teach one person how to handle their mental illness… ok… but I want to help more than that too… I remember one of my ah hah moments in mental… we were in like open room with maybe 20 of us and I was screaming and crying for a pillow. Oh boy sitting across from me said maybe if you ask them nicely… so I calmed down and did and got one.
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It was a moment of surrender and a mandatory one if someone wanna survive being in and out of mental
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The more you fight them the worse they treat you… suck it up and kiss they’re ass cause really you have to
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https://youtu.be/urSD7wH8kMQ?si=tgLCRuHRobd5ZJl5
It sucks to be good at something bad… and I know they were trying to set me up for some years but at that moment I said fuck that cause I was good at something else too (being a secretary) worked my way to EA and internationally traveled for work too… I pray EVERYONE get that luck when they just so tried and wanna get out too! Tired of seeing my peoples in and out of jail. My town has a couple of Cinderella stories. One of my old boys a nurse now too… like… trust everyone is good at something good too!
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But “yeah mom… it’s clear it’s always gonna be the same… until the end of time”!
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My heart bleeds for the hood
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Yeah I relate to the song a lot… my ex bm had a baby by his bestie and etc and stuff… I still laugh like dang I wish I had a pic when I used to wear my bandanna like that. I shave the underneath of my head so when I wanted to wear it up I’d cover it… but some of the scary things too - like just forgetting shit.
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And when I realized Tupac was more real then not… I saw his ghost got scared and ran out a hotel room that got busted a few hours later, or in myrtle beach when he was screaming at me to wake up…. His post on my friends page that was trying to get me to find her pills and I wouldn’t and she died anyway… the Newport’s at the beach thinking my thoughts with my old friends. Just SO MUCH - I don’t realize why he still alive to me either
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Yeah “my hard stares scaring my sisters kid” when I started to get sick. Nico was about 5-7… Michaela about 2-3 maybe and TJ, well TJ never knew me sane
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Nico did though… I remember how scared he was when I first started getting sick and me and my sister got in a fight over something so stupid as I thought I bought a pair of shoes and didn’t
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The peace on my block? You had to be 25 back then for rentals but we could get uHauls at 18 so we’d rent them and like we were parked in my parking lot and I guess my neighbor got scared and called the police… I fell out the uhaul drunk and the cop started laughing and said as long as you live here and are being quiet
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Showed him my license and he left
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My mom gets very upset over Chris too… she hates that we all were out there and now peoples is coming home but he will never be able to go home. She laid in on me today about it too… but I’m kinda like mom, I think he ok with it cause he led me back home anyway too… you know? I was blocking him standing like an X just blanked out until Fred pulled me down
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I hate he got hit… I hate that he died… I hate he had a baby on the way… and I hate that I haven’t proved extra in my life since deep down it feels like it should’ve been me
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I’m a make sure he live for ever though and wanna make something to give his daughter too
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I don’t know his babies mom… I moved to db when I was in 9th grade and went to a small alternative school for at risk students
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And in my own fucked up life and path turned it around. But I’ll be honest - sometimes I DONT know if he love or hate me
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THAT shit sucks…
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I don’t really know if anybody love or hate me… but I want to start a book for my high school besty that has cancer now and been fighting it like over 10 years! We used to have so much fun and I’m so happy she is back in my life too!
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“Still feels like years left of my own sentence as they whisper all in due time” I remember when I wrote that and things are starting to get clearer now…
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“Won’t tell me my own crime”
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I drew the pic I saw my horns I get it… but nah I didn’t wanna see a fight, a shoot out, or watch ANYONE die that night… just realized we really are like checkers and there really is 2 sides
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My bf read my Hail Mary and said THATS writing girl…
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The day the world stood still…
If my pen was a paintbrush, I’d paint a picture to see.
A story in time; when da walls closed n on me.
It was the day the world stood still, innocence lost, and tragedy fill
A day of ending and new beginning –
Witnessed a war: righteousness vs. sinning.
The day started as one of pride,
I couldn’t imagine the secrets the night would hide.
I couldn’t imagine the faith I would come to learn,
Or the realities brought forth of souls doomed to burn.
Don’t know the alpha or the omega, neither was in sight,
but I do know the harsh reality of my ignorance that night.
Perhaps I'll never know why I was the only one in the room…
And perhaps I’ll never stop wondering if ultimately it'd be my doom.
Felt like an eternity standing toe to toe,
All the while --- thinking to myself friend or foe?
I looked at him and he looked back at me it seemed it was forever, paralyzed an eternity.
But it wasn't the eyes of my enemy,
More like a familiar stare I became aware that was long lost to me.
But yes, the eyes were cold, they were dark, and they were piercing me,
What courage it took for the angel who ran upstairs to rescue me,
at that moment I realized a hero is way more than anything I could ever hope to be.
I flew down the stairs, passed the quiet guard,
jumped over the porch landed on my feet into the yard,
And there I stood as if I was in this world alone,
and I wasn’t snapped back until to the ground I was thrown.
I think I was in awe, cause I realized the ramifications of what I just saw.
“For by thee I have run through a troop; and by God have leaped over a wall”
Literally!
For this is the night I believe the angels carried me –
The halos and horns I could see so vividly
That is why I believe in my heart a martyr fell before we.
Be still fear in our enemies with ignorance their disguise
Behold the angels with the tears in their eyes.
In that moment we all came to be one – there was no divisible sides,
Together we stood and for a second coexistence won.
There together to witness and mourn the wrong that has been done.
And that is the true meaning of loss when you all wanna talk about “lost one.”
And to he, at his last breath I think he took me too,
And left a lasting impression too real and too true.
For I felt the weight lifted when a spirit was called home and I knew it was accepted,
Not left here to roam.
It wasn’t at that moment I felt restored to reality
But the world stood still did not move again until I felt that first snowflake touch me.
Now, hail Mary
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They said he died in surgery… but he was on my lap on the way to the hospital and I felt him lift
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My bf now I was toe to toe with… and all that other weird shit we figuring this out…
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But when he showed me how to shoot and I hit the bullseye on my third shot… I just put the gun down and realized I would’ve been a shooter had I not hit that “fork in the road and went straight”
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Shit… the apocalypse makes me laugh even in covid listening to onyx’s last days driving around… I’m just different and I’m proud my nephew with same gifts is in the marines on the right side now
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I tried military too… my mom hung up on the recruiter and said I’d hit my own camp by accident
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Pray I didn’t…
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A BB GUN*
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https://fb.watch/oarWCw0KRj/?mibextid=Dpxkx3
My city has a cross like that, I tried to write a spell jungle, as well as more like…
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The bullets to my huts? I have ZERO clue and really can’t confirm or deny
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When I was tripping and said 50 aka so and so hit me on my legit cell… I’ve been all legit since like 2006… and I don’t want him living that life or going back to that. I know there’s enough talent somewhere to make money… like pleaSe?
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Baby on the way? I think it’s pretty might be so… but my baby daddy never gonna let it be I see
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And I’m not fighting psych… but if you all gonna do some experimental type shit at least wait and follow the patient thru
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I remember hypno, I know it’s illegal now so I can’t get it fixed.. and yeah I think they brain washed me
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No I’m not adopted but my dads name isn’t on my birth certificate. I got my certificate not registration now
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What else can I clear up? Cause I’m not some liar I was just mad confused
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Yeah… I want my position back. I babysit when they sleep… idk what that means either
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Other then I should’nt have stopped them from choking A that night and I only stayed cause the room was in my name
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The first time he hit me… I knew better and only stayed cause I thought I had to
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I stood to what ever was coming for me
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Well way I see it is only a weak man can’t stand to see a strong woman… SALUTE BITCH
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I paid back like $30k… am I free yet? Are we good?
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Paid it backwards forward
what in the holy fuck is this
Fun facts… did you all know slavery was invented after the constitution in this country… on the entire constitution it was does not mention slaves or slavery not one time. The only men not free were and are the military… fun fact
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@the_real_spir me rambling on my blog page