State of Emergency featuring Krypton

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=245551
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=245014
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=245320

Krypton & Antonio Banderas

State of Emergency




Amps obliterating air particles as the brehs party brawls,
Like hardware articles my eyes on this girl as i stare my eyeballs,
Glare at the rivals in her presence, The disciples in the essence,
In an instance the bibles owner presents screams and concrete presents,
Dreams incomplete, Events tackling the walls, I'm in a frenzied panic,
My friends just ran thick to the doors heated that extended manic,
Cleansed volcanic, Smoke choking my lungs from signs of oxygen,
Lives are locked in the wrath of fumes that start to drive me from em,
Alive but lost in flames that lick at my face and black skin replaced,
I'm back in n' braced with red dancers as my conscience is erased,
Monstrous it blazed the night to a bonfire light torturin' the victims,
Torching my both limbs, Wove hymns of the heat as my hope dims,
I grope in there, A different world, But it whirled through the fire,
Hurled through my wires of nerves fried from the heat rising higher,
The ryhming choir of satans angels screaming with knives,
Dreaming of ice on my back away from the drama of leaning from life....



Toxins gained momentum, penetrating through the plexi-glass windows
Gray smoke infiltrated my eyes, making exiting past essential
Following a path thats simple, a screeching voice generated an echo
Climbin the deteriorating steps, I proceeded to avoid indepth holes
To decrease death toll, an emergency unit evacuated the basement level
Meanwhile, I located an injured teenager & began to sadate the fellow
Through heavily laced with gloves, the door knob burnt my index finger
then appeared a hairless women, with germ infested ring worms
Grabbin the sanitizer & I levitated her feet at a 14 degree angle
Laid the victims body on the cott & noticed that the leg had dangled
Medic seemed compassionate, stating a compound fracture was immanent
stating that 60% burns left the victim's lower body battered & impotent
about 6 people survived, gaspin through smoke to breath filtered O2
To this day, we still hear voices, becoming bewildered by the old news

werd, i like it yo, nice complezity, dope wording, i was interested in it, yall both did a good job, nice gaming topic(lol) \, jk, but it was dope,

yeah you is elevating pretty good.. shame about the white text for the second verse..
but hey great vocab and nice rhymes throughout this piece
a few dope multies for real i liked those ishes..
some fukken ill poetics litter this joint
so i now rate you within the 5% of dope writers who post on this board

stay up

very nice, great wordplay from both. keep it up.

this was a good piece right here.Yall came to a good point in this piece.Also you real good Imagry and emotion in this piece too.When I read it I could picture the story in my head of everything that was going on.But yall also had good structures and good use of yalls words.Keep up the good work and I hope to see more from yall soon

This was jaaa sick foreal..... in a good way lol.... the wordplay had me astonished foreal.... i couldnt think of that many complex words myself.... that would be to much work to me lol.... but yea i was feelin both of u guys's verses..... kinda led the reader into foreal.....this was a sick piece.... keep doin the damn thing...

yo that was iight i was feelin the vocab and the flow i could read it easy 2 good job

Ok, not a bad piece but it lacked a lot of depth. Depth in a piece
is the reason people read OM's. To get eniticed.. unless its a diss
or something of that sort.

Kryp- The content in your piece just wasn't apparent at all.
You had an ok rhyme scheme and some of your internals gave
a good flow to your rhymes but you just didn't get a grip of
the piece. You kept on point with the panic description but
I just couldn't see it going anywhere.

Quote:

---

Glare at the rivals in her presence, The disciples in the essence,
In an instance the bibles owner presents screams and concrete presents,

---

^^^ bulid off this because twas nice.

AB- Fisrt off your verse should have come first, because it would have
gave the reader a far better insight into what you was achieving in
writing this. Not that your verse was far better than Kryps because
it wasn't. You have very similar styles and it would have been a really
good OM if you would have connected a littel more.

Quote:

---

Medic seemed compassionate, stating a compound fracture was immanent
stating that 60% burns left the victim's lower body battered & impotent
about 6 people survived, gaspin through smoke to breath filtered O2
To this day, we still hear voices, becoming bewildered by the old news

---

^^ I would have to say that this was very nice as hell tho.

Props.
Keep writing.

ha ha ha ha ha
this was tight you ahd nice images painted from this. the creayivty came strong with it i could imagine the shit as i read...... the rhymes was hot as well to match the topic also the flow from both was tight i enjoyed thoreugh out as i read. the first verse came with stronger vocab but ab you had a better flow to your verse but all in all both verses came strong and hit the topic on point


hit my shit up return feed
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=245028

TY for the feedback...uppin this....................................