school of coke

to start off another lonely thought or dream
it must seem to me like another dope fiend
cause if you scream
im a let it scream
and be straight up
im a do my thing
i never lack dope
my sack and my rope
and half a ounce of coke
i dont try hard shit just falls in place
and im overcrowwed
in a comfortable space


from gram to o's half's to kilos
ill let a nigga know im not here for freetos
i want it weighed sold straight in a fat sack
cuz if it comes back to wrong
that another nigga i have to wack

all deals got to be final
that how i sell
and if its a problem
ill cut ya up like caine rails
dont ever fuck wit my shit nigga
get you ass stuck
you cant steal from me anyways
cuz im always on my way to re-up

never lookin back, on the hardest to high
the 1st nigga to try me
is the 1st nigga to die
scratches became scars
scars marked lies
if you keep ya shit straight
then nigga ya wise

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=320993

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=320966

This topical was pretty good. R U a coke fiend? If not, then your rhyme was convincing. The whole piece was serious except you kinda threw it off wid this line.

from gram to o's half's to kilos
ill let a nigga know im not here for freetos

Its a good multie, but the freetos thing don't really make sense. The flow was good, vocab was simple but it helped the flow. Keep practicing. Elevate

this made no since
to sart another dream it seems like a dope fiend
come on be realistic the rhymes scheme is decent aswell maybe flow and u atleast can tell a story although very weird one at that but dude u need to peep some om's by vetse or elevated users and kinda grasp the way they're wrighting and technique are more at use....then elevate yourself and re drop this cus i believe u could have done alot more with this topic and been more creative

it was suppose to show the elevation of a coke dealer(school)
kinda like from grades k to 12 im gonna make somethen for all the grades before i record
biggies - 10 crack commandments kinda gave me the idea to do it like this
the freetos repesent dealers trying to blaze up with you or compensate you while your in their crib, say because their waiting on your sack
the dope fiend was to show the love and addiction to the game

upp

This was a piece that was just all over the place. The thing didn't make sense, and I couldn't figure out how it fit in with the title. The rhymes were awkward and sometimes you used them twice in a rhyme, and some didn't even make sense like the line about "Fritos". You lack relevance, and you need to work that out, work on a structure, and work on making sense. This was pretty much wrecked, man. I didn't even like it, and I'm sure no one else will unless they're snorting your coke.

nice topic.. creative an very convincing i felt as if it was what u was sayin as if it was a tru story nice

I thought this was really good and the flow made it easy to follow... glad to see a post upped. It's been so boring here lately.