Dont care to name it

Where to go from here? I already drank enough beer.
The only thing I fear is wasting another year.
Can't see it clear, so I can't paint the perfect picture.
Need to get a Grandslam but cant hit off this pitcher.
Like Doc Holliday I continue sipping my elixir.
But it turns me buck wild then I rip down the light fixtures.
Take a deep breath in and wait for maryjane to hit ya.
Didnt care to read theirs so I wrote my own scripture.
To my homies up in heaven, just kno I will always miss ya.
I wish you were here alive in my social mixture.
I cant just sit here and wait for life to hit me hard.
They underneath the surface but i still cant hide my scars.
Fuck who be in your car & what kind of whip you drive.
Kids starving with no food wondering how to stay alive.
They get a little older then put a bullet through their eye.
They didnt get enough love to make it here and survive.

It said a lot to me, it takes love to survive - I loved a lot but nah nobody loved me - I guess it's cause I can be an asshole and have high expectations too. Who were you talking to in this? Like explain your piece if you don't mind - I'd love to hear it.

When I rhyme like this it's to the world that dont normally care to pay mind to folks like me who actually take the time to talk about what's on my mind. More so I guess it's to me myself. I need to rhyme about positive things when you feel down. So Instead of always coming from a place of darkness with bad energy and negativity i try to approach with a light heart and think of saying things that will help others. This rhyme is more of my inner battle with how I haven't reached levels of success I planned on being at already. Things that hold me back, thoughts of friends not here anymore hoping they are looking over me leading me to the right path .but in the end people in the world far off worse then I am so that's kind of where I ended with it. These 16s I post alot of them are put together while I take phone calls at work. Sometimes I write one over two hours well in between calls but other times I can write them within 5 to 10 mins but I dont always do it like I wish I would. It is my passion to rap and i know when people read what i write on here they ain't reading it the way i would spit it out so I know that I am writing it but I'm writing it to how I rap not to how they read it in their heads . Thx for taking time to read it

Well thanks for taking the time TO explain especially if youre a private person. Everyone says I write too dark but that's whats up in my world and I wanna help people too. And if anything my old friends that betrayed me did was THEY KNOW the difference between right and wrong - or they wouldn't be so good at fronting - they just don't live by it. The thing about writing is you do expose a level of yourself but my thing is more how much I can relate to things. I don't ever write at work but I always seem to wanna write when I hang with the 1-3 friends I do have. Which irritates them but they're used to it. When I did work in corporate sometimes I would wake up at 5am just to write before work and writing is how I got better after some shit I was put through. I write in about 10-20 minutes usually but my best ones are the ones I read, then reread, then change and work hard on - that's why I liked sacred scriptures - I was against people way better then me but it raised the bar. I hope to read more from you and I hope you get your studio time to spit it out too. I personally love rap which is hysterical cause I was raised on metal but I always say those chords pulled over and again like you said - how you relate.