Twin flames

The pain in my heart reminds me that were still a part, and part of him is in pain
The burning of my right rib when in angers reminds me that im not all that insane
Like a reflection in the mirror looking back and rejecting you
When it’s everything on earth to you and you’re powerless what can you do
I haven’t figured out what it means when my heart growls
I imagine when another approaches in deceit and prowls
Catching memories of us back then still stuck on my pillow
sometimes I catch a scent of you and the memories become overwhelming and billow
How much longer are we gonna play this game
And what does it mean when he doesn’t feel the same
I’m not gonna play I’m alone again 3 years and 3 months tonight
The only thing I seem to commit to are the words that I no longer write

Link one: http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...5898-the-blues

Link two: http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?495812-bored

Multi's on point, I think that's clear. However, from beginning to end, your lines are severely stretched. The flow was off here and it becomes choppy as hell with your bars going too long to be followed by the following bar's lines to be too short. The topic here was cool, but it was real short for it to have any true "feel" of it. No hate, but it is what it is.

This was good overall, I found this to be very introspective:

"How much longer are we gonna play this game
And what does it mean when he doesn’t feel the same"

Good lyrics.

Thank you @cz

Been many years since I left some feedback, so here it goes for 2018....

Opener was good, but slightly stretched, when I read the next sentence it was like meh that could've been better. I got lost in translation in the middle then it came together towards the end but still finished it off to quickly.

Flow was good, felt the emotion in the first few lines then it was more like 'I need to get these few lines finished off' so emotion faded away. I guess adding some multies in the middle of your lines will maintain your consistency regarding your flow.

White-Winter

Thank you @green _winter