Week 8: Cheesecake Assassin 3-3 vs. Bash 4-3 bash wins

http://i.imgur.com/GtJT262.png


LLL SEASON XXIIRULES!

verses due: FRIDAY 11:59PST
Minimum Lines = 10 Lines
Maximum Lines = 20 Lines

CHAMP MATCH IS MIN 14 Lines

Extension: Up to opponent
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1 no shows you out for the fallowing week.
3 no shows you out for season.

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Those battles will be Majority Votes WIN!!

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@Bash

12. im kickin ya ass this week.

whatever, check.

Oh you're fucked...

After the chat w/ u n HD, its time for an eternal slumber
2 bums goin' back n forth over trash that deserves a burning dumpster
U run from conflict, dont front like ur hood n things tight
Bro u’ve ran n hopped fences way before the khabib fight
The heavens frown on u, still ill throw a brick at this twerp
Jesus watch me crack this bitches head like I'm Jake shuttlesworth
Acting tough will get u fucked, my crews known for carvin' pussies
Leave whitey surrounded by all black, but this ain't a venom movie
I break chump textcees, ur style will never evolve bro
I can instantly spot talent, ur skillsets like a 100 pages of finding waldo
Barely escaped ya fate, u won't be so lucky w/ me mister
U got Drunk n swayed for days, ur a lightweight at text n liquor

blah

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bash

Dia buggin' @Meth come get ya mans lol

---

You can hate all you want, but all your shit ever amounts to, is light reaches.
I feel like calling checkmate right now, cuz how you be using knight pieces.
There must be a gap, in your abilities, because against me you can’t see well.
If you asked him politely, allen woulda ghost wrote for your whack ass on the D.L.
If I’m throwing bash, it’s off the balcony then yall can celebrate with cake.
You said I’m bugging, we’re different species then, cuz you won't hesitate to snake.
Kick my ass? You should kick your own, for attempting to take a title from me.
Because if you used your own verses, you prepared literature for the bible study.
You already reached the biting point, without clutch control, what you hoping to gain?
You called meth for back up, because you’ll need that drug, to cope with the pain.
Since yo bitch like’s cheese fries, I’m going to white castles, she can be the passenger.
They call me diasick, cuz your bitch stays pierced to my dick like a fucking catheter.

Yo homies! It's H&D - your favorite voter!

In order to make sure my votes are fair in the eyes of the great @Cheese cake Assassin, I want to remind you of my voting methodology:

For each bar, I give you a score. I break the bar down into four categories and total 'em up. That's your score.

For each category, 0 means it doesn't exist or I hate it. 1 means it is what I expect. 2 means it is above and beyond what you typically see in our league. So it is "HOT FIYA" as @Barcotic would say.

0 is a shitty bar with literally nothing in it. 4 would be the score I expect to give most "good" bars. These are bars I dig. 7 is probably one of the hottest bars I've ever seen.

ONE THING YOU SHOULD KNOW is that I WANT to give you a 7 on every bar. I want you to write dope shit and I want to read / be inspired by your dopest bars. So don't take low scores as me hating. Instead, I am trying to show you where I would like you to improve. Not because I am the rap grandmaster, but because I am forced to read all your fucking garbage. So I might as well some great rap music.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bash

Oh you're fucked...

After the chat w/ u n HD, its time for an eternal slumber
2 bums goin' back n forth over trash that deserves a burning dumpster
0: Scheme - Basic end rhyme. It's fine.
1: Concept - Concept bums going back and forth over trash was about average.
0: Wordplay - There is none.
1: Execution - It's low on the one end. The wording of the punch itself isn't that tight IMO. Burning dumpster doesn't really have impact or sell the punch, IMO.
4: Total bar score

U run from conflict, dont front like ur hood n things tight
Bro u’ve ran n hopped fences way before the khabib fight
0: Scheme - Just a basic end rhyme. Cool.
0: Concept - I really didn't love this. I don't think it was the strongest Khabib concept. It didn't have anything to do with MMA or Khabib. I just didn't really love it.
0: Wordplay - I don't see any
1: Execution - I mean. I didn't love the execution. But you used the "right" words in the punch for me?
1: Total bar score

The heavens frown on u, still ill throw a brick at this twerp
Jesus watch me crack this bitches head like I'm Jake shuttlesworth
0: Scheme - Even the end rhyme is kinda blah
1: Concept - Fine. I'll Google your fucking sports metaphors. This one kinda sucks. I get it's a movie. It might just not be pop culture enough for me.
0: Wordplay - I don't see any. Jesus might be a name in the movie. I am not going to google THAT much for you.
1: Execution - So this is the high end of a 1. I don't want to give half scores because this is gonna be retarded. But I thought the wording was cool.
2: Total bar score

Acting tough will get u fucked, my crews known for carvin' pussies
Leave whitey surrounded by all black, but this ain't a venom movie
0: Scheme - Can't give you points for carvin' and venom
1: Concept - Man I really wish I had half scores. This is a low one. I like that it's relevant - it's the first venom flip I've seen. I don't like anything else about it.
0: Wordplay - None
1: Execution - The setup is cool enough. But man... you HAD TO BE ABLE TO DO MORE with white/black/venom than just "my black dudes will surround your white dudes" You had to. You have this.
2: Total bar score

I break chump textcees, ur style will never evolve bro
I can instantly spot talent, ur skillsets like a 100 pages of finding waldo
0: Scheme - This was not my favorite rhyme and there's not much to it.
1: Concept - I can't zero this. Spot talent and finding waldo is rough man. It's pretty old.
0: Wordplay - Sorry man. I give points for this shit and you don't do it.
0: Execution - Sorry dude I gotta 0 this. Spot talent had potential. Where's waldo had potential. But you even phrased 100 pages of where's waldo awkward. Man, making me write this shit out makes me feel even worse for giving low scores. I love you? I think you're a cool person? But I didn't love this at all?
1: Total bar score

Barely escaped ya fate, u won't be so lucky w/ me mister
U got Drunk n swayed for days, ur a lightweight at text n liquor
0: Scheme - It's a single syllable man. I can't give you bonus points for this.
2: Concept - Strong 1. Drunk n swayed is really strong, IMO. I didn't love the pay off but that's not this category. I think I can bump this to a 2.
1: Wordplay - I can give you 1 for this. Druken Swayed I thought would be sick. But whatever.
1: Execution - FWIW I hate the payoff of this punch. You're a lightweight at text and liqour, instead of the payoff being like... drunk n swaying and then flipping it and being about me, INSTEAD of drinking. Whatever.
5: Total bar score. This was generous because I felt like you had points earlier on that were HIGH for the integer I had to give you

---

15

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Cheesecake Assassin

blah



You can hate all you want, but all your shit ever amounts to, is light reaches.
I feel like calling checkmate right now, cuz how you be using knight pieces.
1: Scheme - Good end rhyme and a decent inner. Not that forced.
1: Concept - So the concept is that he will be using / taking L's. But you're gonna have to spell it out for other voters.
0: Wordplay - Don't see any here
1: Execution - Strong one. Set up the "L" in the first bar and it's a 2.
3: Total bar score

There must be a gap, in your abilities, because against me you can’t see well.
If you asked him politely, allen woulda ghost wrote for your whack ass on the D.L.
1: Scheme - You carry one of the inners through two bars. That's enough for me.
1: Concept - The thing about battle rap is the clickpoint is supposed to be low, IMO. You should "get it" right away. otherwise it isn't a punch, it's a crossword puzzle. But I spent like 3 minutes with this and all I got is that allen ghost writes him. I'll hedge you H&D is dumb points. But - again - the concept is weak even if it's strong, cuz people should just get that shit.
0: Wordplay - None
1: Execution - I can't really give you two because whack ass on the DL can't be the punchiest way of wording this, right? Cmon.
3: Total bar score

If I’m throwing bash, it’s off the balcony then yall can celebrate with cake.
You said I’m bugging, we’re different species then, cuz you won't hesitate to snake.
1: Scheme - I never really realized how clean your end rhymes were. Mostly because you got such a hate boner for me.
2: Concept - Dope. I read this and my reaction was dope. So it's a 2.
1: Wordplay - There is some. Buggin' is used two ways.
2: Execution - It's a really weak two cuz the setup wasn't tied into the punch IMO. But I liked how each bar was done individually.
6: Total bar score

Kick my ass? You should kick your own, for attempting to take a title from me.
Because if you used your own verses, you prepared literature for the bible study.
1: Scheme - Again, the end rhymes are super clean. I think this is the last scheme point i can give you for end rhymes, though.
0: Concept - Clickpoint man. I don't want to have to Torah study your lines. I gotta zero you out.
0: Wordplay - If I missed it, I missed it. I've been generous for end rhyme points.
1: Execution - I know you're doing something. The wording itself was clean. I just don't feel the rest.
2: Total bar score

You already reached the biting point, without clutch control, what you hoping to gain?
You called meth for back up, because you’ll need that drug, to cope with the pain.
0: Scheme - Can't give you end rhyme points anymore.
1: Concept - I hate Meth and his stupid name.
1: Wordplay - There was Meth. It existed. Lowest possible 1 I can give.
1: Execution - The execution of the PUNCH itself was pretty lame. Copy with the pain, etc.
3: Total bar score

Since yo bitch like’s cheese fries, I’m going to white castles, she can be the passenger.
They call me diasick, cuz your bitch stays pierced to my dick like a fucking catheter.
1: Scheme - There was a scheme. Doesn't have to be complicated boys, try to rhyme your shit.
1: Concept - The cheesefries from sig is good. I like it. The rest kinda sucked tbh
0: Wordplay - None
1: Execution - Dude. This was a brag line. Are we in 8 mile? White castles had so much potential, so I'm gonna 1 point it/
3: Total bar score

---

20


VOTE Asshat the fuckboy clown. You're a fuckboy clown. If you want my vote, you have to accept that it comes with this condition -- it calls you a fuckboy and a clown.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bash

Oh you're fucked...

After the chat w/ u n HD, its time for an eternal slumber
2 bums goin' back n forth over trash that deserves a burning dumpster

lol ok

U run from conflict, dont front like ur hood n things tight
Bro u’ve ran n hopped fences way before the khabib fight

not feeling this

The heavens frown on u, still ill throw a brick at this twerp
Jesus watch me crack this bitches head like I'm Jake shuttlesworth

ok

Acting tough will get u fucked, my crews known for carvin' pussies
Leave whitey surrounded by all black, but this ain't a venom movie

ok

I break chump textcees, ur style will never evolve bro
I can instantly spot talent, ur skillsets like a 100 pages of finding waldo

dope

Barely escaped ya fate, u won't be so lucky w/ me mister
U got Drunk n swayed for days, ur a lightweight at text n liquor

fire

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Cheesecake Assassin

blah



You can hate all you want, but all your shit ever amounts to, is light reaches.
I feel like calling checkmate right now, cuz how you be using knight pieces.

cool concept w the ak shit but not harsh at all. wording killed this, its still ok tho

There must be a gap, in your abilities, because against me you can’t see well.
If you asked him politely, allen woulda ghost wrote for your whack ass on the D.L.

nah

If I’m throwing bash, it’s off the balcony then yall can celebrate with cake.
You said I’m bugging, we’re different species then, cuz you won't hesitate to snake.

eh, i guess this is ok. bugging really old, so is snake but the flips relevant i guess... tho weird in the way u used it

Kick my ass? You should kick your own, for attempting to take a title from me.
Because if you used your own verses, you prepared literature for the bible study.

nah verses/bible verses was being used in aol chat days lol, even forgetting that ur wording is soft

You already reached the biting point, without clutch control, what you hoping to gain?
You called meth for back up, because you’ll need that drug, to cope with the pain.

no meth/meth too old bro, not fresh enough

Since yo bitch like’s cheese fries, I’m going to white castles, she can be the passenger.
They call me diasick, cuz your bitch stays pierced to my dick like a fucking catheter.

nah not feeling this either

---

bash started slow but ended really good, consistent verse, w jabs before the haymakers at the end
dia was up n down, but his ups werent heavy
'
cool read

v Bash

After the chat w/ u n HD, its time for an eternal slumber
2 bums goin' back n forth over trash that deserves a burning dumpster
U run from conflict, dont front like ur hood n things tight
Bro u’ve ran n hopped fences way before the khabib fight
I break chump textcees, ur style will never evolve bro
I can instantly spot talent, ur skillsets like a 100 pages of finding waldo

vs

You can hate all you want, but all your shit ever amounts to, is light reaches.
I feel like calling checkmate right now, cuz how you be using knight pieces.

bash had a good verse, pretty consistent. i liked the waldo flip although i've seen the concept a bunch back in the day. cheesecake had the opening personal which was ok, next best bar was the next bar but i really wasnt feeling too much beyond that.

vote Bash.

Bash:

After the chat w/ u n HD, its time for an eternal slumber
2 bums goin' back n forth over trash that deserves a burning dumpster

3/5

U run from conflict, dont front like ur hood n things tight
Bro u’ve ran n hopped fences way before the khabib fight

2.5/5

The heavens frown on u, still ill throw a brick at this twerp
Jesus watch me crack this bitches head like I'm Jake shuttlesworth

2/5

Acting tough will get u fucked, my crews known for carvin' pussies
Leave whitey surrounded by all black, but this ain't a venom movie

2.5/5

I break chump textcees, ur style will never evolve bro
I can instantly spot talent, ur skillsets like a 100 pages of finding waldo

3/5 I like this one

Barely escaped ya fate, u won't be so lucky w/ me mister
U got Drunk n swayed for days, ur a lightweight at text n liquor

3/5 and again.

Total: 16 points.

Assassin:

You can hate all you want, but all your shit ever amounts to, is light reaches.
I feel like calling checkmate right now, cuz how you be using knight pieces.

3/5 I like the concept

There must be a gap, in your abilities, because against me you can’t see well.
If you asked him politely, allen woulda ghost wrote for your whack ass on the D.L.

2/5 ok

If I’m throwing bash, it’s off the balcony then yall can celebrate with cake.
You said I’m bugging, we’re different species then, cuz you won't hesitate to snake.

2.5/5

Kick my ass? You should kick your own, for attempting to take a title from me.
Because if you used your own verses, you prepared literature for the bible study.

2/5

You already reached the biting point, without clutch control, what you hoping to gain?
You called meth for back up, because you’ll need that drug, to cope with the pain.

3/5 I can see how overused this wordplay might be, since its really out there, since im new here, you were lucky it was new to me.

Since yo bitch like’s cheese fries, I’m going to white castles, she can be the passenger.
They call me diasick, cuz your bitch stays pierced to my dick like a fucking catheter.

3/5 solid punch.

total 15.5 points

Vote: Bash

After the chat w/ u n HD, its time for an eternal slumber
2 bums goin' back n forth over trash that deserves a burning dumpster
This was aight
U run from conflict, dont front like ur hood n things tight
Bro u’ve ran n hopped fences way before the khabib fight
This was cool... Bit light
The heavens frown on u, still ill throw a brick at this twerp
Jesus watch me crack this bitches head like I'm Jake shuttlesworth
Light again
Acting tough will get u fucked, my crews known for carvin' pussies
Leave whitey surrounded by all black, but this ain't a venom movie
I've seen something similar to this. And a few Venom bars. This was a miss
I break chump textcees, ur style will never evolve bro
I can instantly spot talent, ur skillsets like a 100 pages of finding waldo
LMAO this was nice
Barely escaped ya fate, u won't be so lucky w/ me mister
U got Drunk n swayed for days, ur a lightweight at text n liquor
at first i was like nah... then I thought about it this is nice. Clever punch

VS

You can hate all you want, but all your shit ever amounts to, is light reaches.
I feel like calling checkmate right now, cuz how you be using knight pieces.
Wording killed this. could have been super dope
There must be a gap, in your abilities, because against me you can’t see well.
If you asked him politely, allen woulda ghost wrote for your whack ass on the D.L.
Not feelin this,
If I’m throwing bash, it’s off the balcony then yall can celebrate with cake.
You said I’m bugging, we’re different species then, cuz you won't hesitate to snake.
Beaten concept tho...Basic punch. this wasnt harsh either
Kick my ass? You should kick your own, for attempting to take a title from me.
Because if you used your own verses, you prepared literature for the bible study.
I fuck with this but ur set up was weak cos your not a champ.. Jab at best
You already reached the biting point, without clutch control, what you hoping to gain?
You called meth for back up, because you’ll need that drug, to cope with the pain.
No bro this another beaten concept basic punch. Think ppl havent done meth pain BS?
Since yo bitch like’s cheese fries, I’m going to white castles, she can be the passenger.
They call me diasick, cuz your bitch stays pierced to my dick like a fucking catheter.
Nah...LMAO at ur bitch loves cheese fries tho


Overall - decent battle both had misses bash's misses were better and he had only a few hits. Dia had a few dope concepts that werent executed harsh enough for impact. Props tho keep it up

v/Kirk Clapplin

After the chat w/ u n HD, its time for an eternal slumber
2 bums goin' back n forth over trash that deserves a burning dumpster
Lol, good start.


U run from conflict, dont front like ur hood n things tight
Bro u’ve ran n hopped fences way before the khabib fight
Cool concept, didn’t feel the execution.

The heavens frown on u, still ill throw a brick at this twerp
Jesus watch me crack this bitches head like I'm Jake shuttlesworth
Nice, even if he got game punches have been around since 98… lol

Acting tough will get u fucked, my crews known for carvin' pussies
Leave whitey surrounded by all black, but this ain't a venom movie
Ok.

I break chump textcees, ur style will never evolve bro
I can instantly spot talent, ur skillsets like a 100 pages of finding waldo
Ok.

Barely escaped ya fate, u won't be so lucky w/ me mister
U got Drunk n swayed for days, ur a lightweight at text n liquor
Not feeling


You can hate all you want, but all your shit ever amounts to, is light reaches.
I feel like calling checkmate right now, cuz how you be using knight pieces.
Ok.

There must be a gap, in your abilities, because against me you can’t see well.
If you asked him politely, allen woulda ghost wrote for your whack ass on the D.L.
Not feeling

If I’m throwing bash, it’s off the balcony then yall can celebrate with cake.
You said I’m bugging, we’re different species then, cuz you won't hesitate to snake.
ok.

Kick my ass? You should kick your own, for attempting to take a title from me.
Because if you used your own verses, you prepared literature for the bible study.
No.

You already reached the biting point, without clutch control, what you hoping to gain?
You called meth for back up, because you’ll need that drug, to cope with the pain.
Not feeling

Since yo bitch like’s cheese fries, I’m going to white castles, she can be the passenger.
They call me diasick, cuz your bitch stays pierced to my dick like a fucking catheter.
Not feeling

I have bash on this one. I just felt Dia’s felt mmmm kind of outdated almost? Not sure, but Bash just delivered a bit more impact with his punches… misses were either eh concept or eh wording - but not really both, and his first two bars really set the setting.

v/bash

Bash wins 5-2