40 Lines max.
Due April 7th, midnight pacific.
No biting, no recycling, no extensions.
@late bloomer
@iLL ScriptureZ
Topic:
http://www.demilked.com/magazine/wp-...n-thumb290.jpg
Printable View
40 Lines max.
Due April 7th, midnight pacific.
No biting, no recycling, no extensions.
@late bloomer
@iLL ScriptureZ
Topic:
http://www.demilked.com/magazine/wp-...n-thumb290.jpg
Yes please...
..check, what an awful picture choice
The There
..a brutally chilled gust caressed my being
Seeking warmth to address the freezing
Gradually deteriorating with passing minutes
Surviving here has an everlasting finish
Cracking digits, spasms & panic visits
Like an unwarranted guest, I’m at my limit
Tracking through this frozen tundra unprepared
Unaware of the inner animal I’ve come to share
This godforsaken wilderness – consecrated, villainous
My life journey is turning into a confiscated pilgrimage
Standing at attention are snow-capped Spruces & Pines
The blood of the innocent acts as Lucifer’s wine
Hallucinations conquer my mind like Ku Kluxers pride
Suffering the same torment from when my 2 brothers died
The hunger inside is growling, snarling, howling
Burning as the plane when it hurled into the mountain
Time has been lost, stolen, from a frightening force
Digging to that inner quietness that is tired & torn
Savagery at its climax this is how violence is born
Feeding on my dead brothers flesh as a vitamin source
The meat is wintry, wish it was the slightest bit warm
As I complain in a domain where being lifeless is norm
It's a knife to my core battling these bear-like elements
Embracing deaths affection & its airtight endlessness
Every turn, every look, every where's white dreadfulness
Hell is dim & fiery but this lair's lights excellent
Swearing in my prayers for some God to show me compassion
In a blink, my vision started slowly retracting
Sensing an uplifting, Sun glimpsing through the snowy assassin
A figure appears... Holy?... I could only imagine
The hazy physique bellows that my sins have been cleansed
Realizing this is Purgatory with the image that I'm dead
Trying to survive this for my children & my wife
Was the pure love I needed to build with & filter it with life
epic rap battles of great proportion
i had already made myself a fortune
its getting hot like a day on a beach
i stay with some heat
like a crackhead you can call me a fiend
you write lines but none of em deep
like blind people this something u needs to feel
like achilles ya weakness in ya heels
im like a new pair of jeans
Epic battles taking place for the finals this week
circles around you breaking through your defense ya geek
i had to stalk yall in my jeep like some shephard yall just my sheep
if i was cliff best believe it would be steep
destabilize and hibernate
cause your weak ass got no rhymes ya fake
im a tourny that i been noshowed in twice
and i dont know anyone who actually drops on this site
i realize im new around here
im like richard way i keep loads of gear
anyways the topic this week was a picture of a bear
and a mountain trail im guessing which was imitating somewhere
anyways i wasnt exactly sure how to flip the topic
but then i noticed how sometimes it seemed too focused
how its like the saying its in the palm of my hands like the tropics
and i aint no alcoholic but i still got loads of problems
so to avoid any confusion i stole that foundation like some ruins
and it would have been cool but then i realized there was too much pollution....
... @late bloomer did you diss me in a topical battle?
lmao that is a first
@Kill Spree ...how do we get this moving?
I'll prey this after workQuote:
Originally Posted by iLL ScriptureZ
pretty easy battle to vote on here
Ill,
Very cool concept. Using the bear as a metaphor for the characters need for survival. I had images from that movie alive in my head, where the soccer team crashed in the arctic region and had to consume each other for survival lol. The vocabulary and the wording was nicely fitted to illustrate the emotions and actions taking place. Flow was smooth and everything just connected well. Good execution on a challenging topic
Bloom,
You had some cool content, but conceptually it was all just a bit aimless and unfocused. I actually chuckled in a few lines . . and walked away not knowing if those lines were intentional there for a comedic relief. . but the biggest hit against you really is that for a topical battle, there just wasn't enough of a story or plot or a character or really anything to invest in. You seem like a more diss battle orientated writer testing the topical waters. You should maybe dig through the SS archives and view some battles in there to help you form a better base to start if you really want to get into the topical side of battling.
My vote - Ill
Good verse my man
@Enoch Light ...thanks for voting
ill, very nice my man. technical great. wording was pretty good also. I really dug the story. With a picture like that its pretty difficult to come up with something but you handled it nicely. My favorite part was the ending. the way you transition from the harsh landscape to this peaceful and spiritual death was dope. Image was certainly one of the finer points of this piece. good job, fam.
Bloom, what happened bro? you saw his verse so i doubt that this was a no-show verse lol. I don't know what i can really say here as u did shoot yourself in the foot here. you did acknowledge the picture, i guess. overall, this wasn't too great not even for a flex piece.
vote/ iLL. again, Bloom shot himself with that flex piece. iLL verse was definitely the better of the two.
Ill, nice read. Liked the wording from start to finish. Felt really smooth and I didn't stutter once. Concept was pretty nice. Liked your approach on the topic. Felt like a complete piece without any holes and I commend you for it.
Late, dunno what the fuck you were thinking lol. You need to learn the difference between text verses and topical verses. Go read some Open Mic Hall of Fames or something to help you out man. Thank you for showing but this was just weak from beginning to end and had pretty much nothing to do with the topic at hand.
Vote Ill Scriptures, the TBFL Champion.