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Gullible Streets
I grew up hearin the older cats talkin bout life
maybe thats the reason i seem to like what i like
was 14 maybe 15, been in bout four or five fights
round 16 done seen so much dirt i seen enough lights
red n blues, D turned and said "run before they get you"
did but fell, got harder to flee wit damp clothes n wet shoes
D ran by me and never even gave me a look or a glance
before i could get up jake had me hooked by the back of my pants
no stress tho my niggas told me "if somethin happend they had me"
i was gullible cuz i waited all weekend when the jakes bagged me
thats when i made the transition from no cares to aware
started to see the gullible in everything, everywhere
i saw a fein pull a knife on a pregnant girl for a twenty
dealer said "bills for thrills" knowin the words were deadly
and still things like this are dismissed on the road to get rich
for pleasure we kill the kids n the worst is,the parents ll take the same trip
hasnt been to long since my nigga sam o.d'ed on blow
crowd he was wit said "he should try weed with coke"
gullible made him beleive one try wouldnt kill him
he got hooked, once turned to a habit and killed him
and to add to all that i see people dyin over word of mouth
never heard it but act like people dont speak a word of doubt
quick to swing when she say "he say your a bitch, you soft"
even quicker to clip up when "they" hype shit, it ticks u off
there go another murder on the news, they lookin for you
manhunt for Mr Gullible of the day, tomorrow someone new
a couple lies got you 15 min of fame n 25 to life you gotta do
so next time someone tells you thier way is the way to go
dont make these mistakes stay true maybe learn to say no
then youll see "success will come with ease and fast"
dont beleive me get it your way and we'll see who lasts......
Who can really T.R.U.S.T.? Talk Real Undeniable Simple Truths
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i was really feeling this u had good emotion and this was a very appealing piece to me. Your vocab wasn't that great but i saw some nice meta's. structure was ayt and the piece was a nice read. You put some good effprt into this i can tell and you had some nice emotion-this piece could of been alot deeper with the topic used but you did good. keep it up
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Word to the TRUST part at the end, you definately did that here bro. I felt it. Even though kids will come in here and fault the rhyme scheme, the imagery, lack of multies and whatever - that isnt important in drops like this. You kept it real and told it from your perspective - thats something that cant be taught. You have talent. I cant wait until you develop further and incorporate more of a rhyme scheme etc - You're gonna be a top writer.
The potentials there, just stick at it bro. Im a fan already, liked your last drop also.
Mucho props on this.
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yo i was feeling this some of it fell off and seamed like you were going a diffeerent direction but once you eased in you did very well.work on complexety.
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You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics you've left decent feedback on or this will be closed. Read the thread at the top of the forum if you don't know how.
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When u look at this for technique and skill....its no there.......but when u read it the content and overall tone makes up for it..... Its an aight read.... This concept revisited after u expand on some techniques would be a dope read
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liked this ish a lot...little more thought into the structure and a tad into the vocab and ya will be ill ... one
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that shit was iight
the flow was good
the vocab was good
OVERALL 8/10
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No doubt
good looks on the feed back n im workin on raisin the bar for the rest of ya'll cuz the best ellevation comes with competition lookin forward to seein pieces youve done ill get at you ~1~