Heaven or Hell

Heaven or Hell
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlPyFdWTcp4

The things that we do just to make it through
Have you wondering what the fuck was I supposed to do
I believe in God AND the other fallen angel…
But I can’t punk out cause I see the other Stalin (stallen) angle
Can’t believe in one without the other
It’s like turning on my own fucking brother
It’s like comforting a widow or a grieving mother
Knowing, you still know another
Well I was just trying to make sense of it all
They chose to live life up and I chose to ball
They look down on you and try to make you look small
I don’t know who he is, but believe me I know his call
When it’s torture I do a line just to numb up
When it’s Fortier I play the ditz just to dumb up
Use my 4.0 for these streets and the plans I can drum up
And I ain’t got a team no more, dolo on the come up
Street sweeper, cleaning all the scavenger scum up
My pen, it turns into a ouji
Weeding cowards out like water out of a squeegee
The eyes in back of me
Have always been eyes that only I can see
They bring me comfort in my terrors throughout the night
I hear the whisper as if children cry like a lullaby when I’m searching without the light
And it ain’t pretty, and it ain’t cute
And where I am going I hardly dispute

Hook

I manned up, I started banging bullies on their backs
Get my fortune read to forewarn of attacks
To make it thru I used to drive with burners under my seat
I ran so much that I deserve the credit for flooding the street
And don’t you think I feel bad for evading that pod
But life equals up somehow to uneven the odd
The 3 little pigs, spent their careers tryin to squeeze me
3 in the hole and I got one just for popping breezy
And you look at me and think my life is all fucking easy
At any given moment we can be called just to appease he
And you know Valhalla’s fable
And there’s no doubt I am eating at that table
I know the power of my spirit horse when drilled in life and death
And I am on borrowed time so you best believe my brethren get my last breath
I know I suffer in the next so let me be free now
And I ain’t trying to repent cause we reep what we sow
Hell of a decision, die, kill, or go to jail
Either way we set up to fail
So what do you believe in? … heaven or hell
I think the la de dah church shit got most folk under a spell
I mean whose to say whose story they tell
I mean, let’s just be real why else the angel fell
I wanna hear two sides, please tell me a book was written
It’s all stories just like the little kitten that lost it’s mitten

Hook

Judged for the things we do
Judged by who
Judged by everyone
Judged these days even if you legally own a gun
Judged by your past, for the past shit you done
You even judged if you stand firm or you decide to run
Judged for your son, judged for your daughter
Ok by you all I don’t believe in that order
The order to tall
So give me the chains and strap me to that wall
All because I jumped in when I heard a prisoner call
And if we all write, then we all right
A gift of intellect, use it for sight
Use it for peace, use it for the fall
Use it at least, but when you do – just give it your all
And I can go on for 100 fucking bars
But I know in the end when I wake up it’d be in fucking MARS
Never fear God cause a true leader doesn’t use fear just to lead you
Never fear the devil, cause believe me he see through
Fear no man, only what fear just what you might do
And judge no one for what they do just to get thru.

Betrayed! Now I’m rethinking EVERYTHING - and I am 4 stroke... been to heaven, been to hell, been to jail, and graduated college - I resent you all even speaking to me but if he let you

I guess I already upped it.

There's different reasons that parents can be absent. And it hurt me to remember that. Was hoping for the now cause they're still here but know the odds of that too. Especially having such a hard time getting back in my own zone. I'll never stop fighting though... my babies... and I am the one that got them here so I'm proud of that too. … And trust me, for my loss, I hope they get any and everything they ever need or want. All I ever wanted was my own family and that's how sometimes you can not appreciate or can take advantage of the blessings you did get. Cause you wanted and needed that more even if it meant welfare (not a coffee pot). No way, no how... and like whoa - I'm here alone and for nothing now. Everything's changed. I just want to make sure my one's that are here... Did you have them the entire time?

4 stroke...

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That’s why I hate when you lock up my pieces... sometimes I need to remind myself who I was to remind myself who I am now. I’m most pissed about my wu track 10. My ex Ced used to remind me who I was - the closest one to me and straight betrayed. Now I have to remind myself.

You sure you want this?

Not the same Meek OBVIOUSLY just ironic... @frankiemc but still it made me think of you. Feel better.

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My homegirl one day said to me "I believe that you believe that, that happened" I was PISSED cause I wasn't lying. But either way if he did or if he didn't I KNOW it can happen and how bad people are treated and disrespected in mental. Don't judge, don't assume, just understand how humiliating it is to just spit some shit out. I'm grateful and believe the site has been REAL tolerant. I know I'm tired and ready to stop tripping for one.

4 stroke… and I found strawberry Phillys for weed but I’m thinking about stepping out that arena again… idk

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I’m gonna be pacing all night and here I thought I was doing so good to maintain mentally like… same spirits same fight and idgaf NO! In fact anyone even friends with them stay away from me. Idk what them bitches was doing but they was doing something on a serious to betray me… but then when you go and demand - like no resolution possible just seperate!

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Just a lot on my mind and the more I don’t feel like myself the worse I get to the point like… no discipline really. Like… I have work tomorrow I didn’t mean to fuck up today but my day 2 broke down so I had to leave early after being 30 minutes late… then my personal situation bothering me and my sleep… but it’s 3am and I’m still up here anyway cause I know I’m not going to be able to sleep anyway.

https://youtu.be/w0sKBIqm_Vk

It’s a toss up between Mocking Bird and So Bad that are my faves… but I name the song Untiteld - SOULD