It’s a cold world

Don’t you realize while they walking me thru this maze
I’m already too traumatized and I’m just walking in this daze
Hanging but thinking Yo homie, you should be chilling with my son...
Shaking my head in disgust like I never thought I’d be the one
He was saying my curves and my skin so pure
I’m just staring at his age like my vision cloudy and it’s all just a blur
Now I’m walking all alone
With every hater spitting on my thrown
I’m not going to start it up again cause I already know it’s all wrong
But on the other, do I need to adjust, cause I already see it’s all just a sad song
AND I don’t ever Belong!!!!!
So I’m just talking telling him all the reasons to leave me be
And he just on his game seeing an Allure he’s not used to seeing
Thinking how cruel even my family can be
Like why did you leave me this of all things I could see

Link one: http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...mus-Parameters

Link two: http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...ay-(Freeverse)

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You don’t give a fuck about me!!!

bro i liked it it seemed to touch on some deep stuff what id try to do is change a few words so it flows better but this is just my opinion good shit tho

@whorticulture thanks so much, just everyone is so mean here the support Means a lot. I’m a girl, I dont know why everyone keeps thinking I’m a boy (I’m not even bi) ��

hahaha honestly i thought u were a guy also not for any reason in particular i think i automatically assume most people here are guys well i wont make that mistake again miss

hahaha@ dude,

but yeah not bad, some free thought going on, the rhymes are quite basic, but the emotion was fine, could be decent if you worked on going further than single syllable rhymes, i mean all i read is liiiiinnnnnneee rhyme, liiiinnnnneeee rhyme, so if it was more like line rhyme, im fine, my mind is sublime, it would flow better and make for a better read. but at the same time, i didnt necessarily feel it was necessary. cause sometimes emotion can beat a rhyme scheme, and since this is open mic poetry i dont feel it is of utmost impartance, te message is more what you look for.

Thank @Oxymoron ... it’s not emotion or rhyme just my side of the story... long story