LLL Week 3: BodySnatcher (0-0) vs. Unfukwitable (0-0) - OPEN 4 VOTES
verses due: Thursday 11:59PST
Minimum Lines = 12 Lines
Maximum Lines = 20 Lines
Extension: Up to opponent IF verse completed & posted/sent. Otherwise at the Moderators discretion.
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Re: LLL Week 3: BodySnatcher (0-0) vs. Unfukwitable (0-0)
Re: LLL Week 3: BodySnatcher (0-0) vs. Unfukwitable (0-0)
Re: LLL Week 3: BodySnatcher (0-0) vs. Unfukwitable (0-0)
I may need a ext but not til tmm just for some extra hrs after work
Re: LLL Week 3: BodySnatcher (0-0) vs. Unfukwitable (0-0)
U mean to read my verse & see what your up against. Don't matter.
Coup de Grace
I’m armed to the teeth so u can get ur mental severed,
Until ur plaque is on the wall…& forensics can only identify u w/a dental record
He’s close to the ledge...why should I throw the clips in?
When all I gotta do is ‘push him over the edge’ for us to see the fall & wit's end
U Watchmen so when I saw the door crack to ur shack,
I crept in...machete in hand…& then I left w/ ur ‘head in a bag’ like Rorschach
Should I spell it out? If u try to fuck w/ this animal mental,
Or write off this lost...I’ma ‘fill ur insides w/ more lead’ than a mechanical pencil
I saw u & ur bitch at dinner. U think she’s a fine model...
But don't celebrate yet cuz u know these 'capsule pop' & I'm not uncorking a wine bottle
I’ma lift ur soul & give u breathing space as u vomit clown,
I’ve cosmo stars to fall w/o shootin so someone tell this nigga to comet down
Re: LLL Week 3: BodySnatcher (0-0) vs. Unfukwitable (0-0) - EXT
No 9s... Sniper shots'll have u high to the sky,
Scope Zoom in on this snowflake by Design;
He'll be permanently blind to the eye!.
Face smeared, Silencer on.. they hardly could hear it;
He felt "distinguish'n" people would be able to tell Body frm Spirit,
Can't identify'em, Agents showin up w/ denture kits,
I left Snatch distorted w/ the sticks his death came w/ Japanese censorship.
So If its a Robbery... I'll mirror that w/ a gauge clutched;
its Quick Draw Mc 'Grawlix'; If I sense any Signs to replace Fuk,
All that time training like Goku..it's irrelevant if your fists means danger,
it's Hyperbolic... U'll be in a Daze for Weeks I'm on another Level w/ the chamber...
Did all Gun bars cus I'm Beast Mode...
Push who's buttons? Everything I 'Write down' is a Cheatcode
Re: LLL Week 3: BodySnatcher (0-0) vs. Unfukwitable (0-0) - OPEN 4 VOTES
I’m armed to the teeth so u can get ur mental severed,
Until ur plaque is on the wall…& forensics can only identify u w/a dental record
nah plaque wp & association is played and has been done a variety of ways already
He’s close to the ledge...why should I throw the clips in?
When all I gotta do is ‘push him over the edge’ for us to see the fall & wit's end
pretty cool, dont love reffering to him as Wit bcuz it just feels like reaching for a concept imo.. but i like the angle here
U Watchmen so when I saw the door crack to ur shack,
I crept in...machete in hand…& then I left w/ ur ‘head in a bag’ like Rorschach
cool, the syllables in the multi are fucking me up.. but i like the watchmen wp flip with the Ror meta
Should I spell it out? If u try to fuck w/ this animal mental,
Or write off this lost...I’ma ‘fill ur insides w/ more lead’ than a mechanical pencil
okay, dece flip but any led/pencil concept at this point feels pretty played & easy
I saw u & ur bitch at dinner. U think she’s a fine model...
But don't celebrate yet cuz u know these 'capsule pop' & I'm not uncorking a wine bottle
ehh similar to last bar, the flip is solid enough but caosule/caps'll a very old wp
I’ma lift ur soul & give u breathing space as u vomit clown,
I’ve cosmo stars to fall w/o shootin so someone tell this nigga to comet down
lol same kindve thing here... cause mo' has been done as has calm-it... indve a cool bar with the tie ins and how its constructed together.. but its tough to give originality points here
vs.
No 9s... Sniper shots'll have u high to the sky,
Scope Zoom in on this snowflake by Design;
He'll be permanently blind to the eye!.
ummm, interesting concept.. i guess im missing how calling him a snowflake hits or the impact behind the concept... sorry
Face smeared, Silencer on.. they hardly could hear it;
He felt "distinguish'n" people would be able to tell Body frm Spirit,
the dis ting is cool... but gwish? guishin ppl? nah
Can't identify'em, Agents showin up w/ denture kits,
I left Snatch distorted w/ the sticks his death came w/ Japanese censorship.
i dont really like when ppl use Snatch plys on him.. but conceptually this is coo & creatvive
So If its a Robbery... I'll mirror that w/ a gauge clutched;
its Quick Draw Mc 'Grawlix'; If I sense any Signs to replace Fuk,
creative attempt that fell flat imo.. punch is light
All that time training like Goku..it's irrelevant if your fists means danger,
it's Hyperbolic... U'll be in a Daze for Weeks I'm on another Level w/ the chamber...
is this a level / game concept? a dbz game? i dunno never watched the show and dont know anything about it..
Did all Gun bars cus I'm Beast Mode...
Push who's buttons? Everything I 'Write down' is a Cheatcode
nah the 'left' 'right' down' 'up' controller combo bars have been done, and done better.. i think it was Warbux that had a down, right similar bar longgg time ago everyone lovedd
I dunno im underwhelmed and ive seen you both come much better before imo... Body seemed to try & come with a more wp heavy approach this week, but it hurt him as he had a lot of played ideas... a couple cool lines but on the whole a lot of freshness to be desired..
I dunno i kinda feel bad I'm missing a few of Unfuk's ideas... i know his trademark is more obscure abstract ideas a lot of the time, but i wasnt fuckin with his verse this week.. and the gwishing wp felt forced af.. props to both, ive got Body edging this one
Vote - BodySnatcher
Re: LLL Week 3: BodySnatcher (0-0) vs. Unfukwitable (0-0) - OPEN 4 VOTES
Quote:
Originally Posted by
RealBodySnatcher
U mean to read my verse & see what your up against. Don't matter.
Coup de Grace
I’m armed to the teeth so u can get ur mental severed,
Until ur plaque is on the wall…& forensics can only identify u w/a dental record
not bad here.
He’s close to the ledge...why should I throw the clips in?
When all I gotta do is ‘push him over the edge’ for us to see the fall & wit's end
Slick little name flip here.
U Watchmen so when I saw the door crack to ur shack,
I crept in...machete in hand…& then I left w/ ur ‘head in a bag’ like Rorschach
Seen this kind of punch before, this one was cool. It could've been harsher.
Should I spell it out? If u try to fuck w/ this animal mental,
Or write off this lost...I’ma ‘fill ur insides w/ more lead’ than a mechanical pencil
Wasn't feeling this one so much.
I saw u & ur bitch at dinner. U think she’s a fine model...
But don't celebrate yet cuz u know these 'capsule pop' & I'm not uncorking a wine bottle
This was alright, i wanna see you go for the kill!
I’ma lift ur soul & give u breathing space as u vomit clown,
I’ve cosmo stars to fall w/o shootin so someone tell this nigga to comet down
lol yea i liked this one nice work here. The Darbs and drexel hill gang are rowdy tonight
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Unfukwitable
No 9s... Sniper shots'll have u high to the sky,
Scope Zoom in on this snowflake by Design;
He'll be permanently blind to the eye!.
Nah, i really dont see how snowflake is harmful here.
Face smeared, Silencer on.. they hardly could hear it;
He felt "distinguish'n" people would be able to tell Body frm Spirit,
Eh this feels like a rushed verse from your usual.
Can't identify'em, Agents showin up w/ denture kits,
I left Snatch distorted w/ the sticks his death came w/ Japanese censorship.
this is cool tho
So If its a Robbery... I'll mirror that w/ a gauge clutched;
its Quick Draw Mc 'Grawlix'; If I sense any Signs to replace Fuk,
More swag & flow than an attack line
All that time training like Goku..it's irrelevant if your fists means danger,
it's Hyperbolic... U'll be in a Daze for Weeks I'm on another Level w/ the chamber...
Alot of dbz punches as of late. But this one is a fresh spin.
Did all Gun bars cus I'm Beast Mode...
Push who's buttons? Everything I 'Write down' is a Cheatcode
nah
v/ RBS he had more lands less misses. Unfuk felt like you rushed to meet a deadline. This isn't ur usual showing.
Re: LLL Week 3: BodySnatcher (0-0) vs. Unfukwitable (0-0) - OPEN 4 VOTES
Bodysnatcher
I’m armed to the teeth so u can get ur mental severed,
Until ur plaque is on the wall…& forensics can only identify u w/a dental record
seen this armed to teeth concept before not bad
He’s close to the ledge...why should I throw the clips in?
When all I gotta do is ‘push him over the edge’ for us to see the fall & wit's end
ok
U Watchmen so when I saw the door crack to ur shack,
I crept in...machete in hand…& then I left w/ ur ‘head in a bag’ like Rorschach
not bad felt could've had more sting
Should I spell it out? If u try to fuck w/ this animal mental,
Or write off this lost...I’ma ‘fill ur insides w/ more lead’ than a mechanical pencil
nah
I saw u & ur bitch at dinner. U think she’s a fine model...
But don't celebrate yet cuz u know these 'capsule pop' & I'm not uncorking a wine bottle
no
I’ma lift ur soul & give u breathing space as u vomit clown,
I’ve cosmo stars to fall w/o shootin so someone tell this nigga to comet down
nah forced wordplay
Unfukwitable
No 9s... Sniper shots'll have u high to the sky,
Scope Zoom in on this snowflake by Design;
nah
He'll be permanently blind to the eye!.
Face smeared, Silencer on.. they hardly could hear it;
He felt "distinguish'n" people would be able to tell Body frm Spirit,
wp was a miss
Can't identify'em, Agents showin up w/ denture kits,
I left Snatch distorted w/ the sticks his death came w/ Japanese censorship.
dope af nice
So If its a Robbery... I'll mirror that w/ a gauge clutched;
its Quick Draw Mc 'Grawlix'; If I sense any Signs to replace Fuk,
not really a punch
All that time training like Goku..it's irrelevant if your fists means danger,
it's Hyperbolic... U'll be in a Daze for Weeks I'm on another Level w/ the chamber...
nice hit
Did all Gun bars cus I'm Beast Mode...
Push who's buttons? Everything I 'Write down' is a Cheatcode
nah
I really didn't like bodysnatchers concepts most were a miss and played. Unfuk was rushed but I really like the japenese censorship hit and the dragon ball concept.
V/Unfuk
Re: LLL Week 3: BodySnatcher (0-0) vs. Unfukwitable (0-0) - OPEN 4 VOTES
I’m armed to the teeth so u can get ur mental severed,
Until ur plaque is on the wall…& forensics can only identify u w/a dental record
...cool, used a similar concept before but u delivered it......
He’s close to the ledge...why should I throw the clips in?
When all I gotta do is ‘push him over the edge’ for us to see the fall & wit's end
...see what u tried but it was jumbled up. Calling him wit is lazy too.....
U Watchmen so when I saw the door crack to ur shack,
I crept in...machete in hand…& then I left w/ ur ‘head in a bag’ like Rorschach
...watchmen shoulda been in ur 2nd line and flipped it, lotta filler.......
Should I spell it out? If u try to fuck w/ this animal mental,
Or write off this lost...I’ma ‘fill ur insides w/ more lead’ than a mechanical pencil
....nothing wrong with the bar I've seen these tho.....
I saw u & ur bitch at dinner. U think she’s a fine model...
But don't celebrate yet cuz u know these 'capsule pop' & I'm not uncorking a wine bottle
....capsule pop aite good flip.....
I’ma lift ur soul & give u breathing space as u vomit clown,
I’ve cosmo stars to fall w/o shootin so someone tell this nigga to comet down
.......Cosmo n comet wp in the same bar, never really seen dual wp in a bar unless they tie together. They simple but it ain't a bad bar the way u executed it......
Vs
No 9s... Sniper shots'll have u high to the sky,
Scope Zoom in on this snowflake by Design;
....missing something not a good start..........
He'll be permanently blind to the eye!.
Face smeared, Silencer on.. they hardly could hear it;
He felt "distinguish'n" people would be able to tell Body frm Spirit,
....not feeling this either, dis stringuish n, then the tell body from spirit u wasted a good concept.........
Can't identify'em, Agents showin up w/ denture kits,
I left Snatch distorted w/ the sticks his death came w/ Japanese censorship.
....snatch Japanese censorship it needed more.......
So If its a Robbery... I'll mirror that w/ a gauge clutched;
its Quick Draw Mc 'Grawlix'; If I sense any Signs to replace Fuk,
.....I'm just not feeling this verse bro feels rushed............
All that time training like Goku..it's irrelevant if your fists means danger,
it's Hyperbolic... U'll be in a Daze for Weeks I'm on another Level w/ the chamber...
......nice.....
Did all Gun bars cus I'm Beast Mode...
Push who's buttons? Everything I 'Write down' is a Cheatcode
....needed more........
Overall I went with consistancy, unfuk had that one fire line but the rest his verse was filler whereas bs had one good line and the rest was aite with a miss I think. Anyway went with consistency on this one.
V. BS
Re: LLL Week 3: BodySnatcher (0-0) vs. Unfukwitable (0-0) - EXT
Quote:
Originally Posted by
RealBodySnatcher
U mean to read my verse & see what your up against. Don't matter.
Coup de Grace
I’m armed to the teeth so u can get ur mental severed,
Until ur plaque is on the wall…& forensics can only identify u w/a dental record
I like the wordplay here
He’s close to the ledge...why should I throw the clips in?
When all I gotta do is ‘push him over the edge’ for us to see the fall & wit's end
Eh
U Watchmen so when I saw the door crack to ur shack,
I crept in...machete in hand…& then I left w/ ur ‘head in a bag’ like Rorschach
This is a little forced.
Should I spell it out? If u try to fuck w/ this animal mental,
Or write off this lost...I’ma ‘fill ur insides w/ more lead’ than a mechanical pencil
I like the metaphor but not the punch
I saw u & ur bitch at dinner. U think she’s a fine model...
But don't celebrate yet cuz u know these 'capsule pop' & I'm not uncorking a wine bottle
This is neat. Not my fav bar but its cool
I’ma lift ur soul & give u breathing space as u vomit clown,
I’ve cosmo stars to fall w/o shootin so someone tell this nigga to comet down
Ehh
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Unfukwitable
No 9s... Sniper shots'll have u high to the sky,
Scope Zoom in on this snowflake by Design;
He'll be permanently blind to the eye!.
Don't love this
Face smeared, Silencer on.. they hardly could hear it;
He felt "distinguish'n" people would be able to tell Body frm Spirit,
Ehh this is ok
Can't identify'em, Agents showin up w/ denture kits,
I left Snatch distorted w/ the sticks his death came w/ Japanese censorship.
This is cute. Voters don't like this shit but I do.
So If its a Robbery... I'll mirror that w/ a gauge clutched;
its Quick Draw Mc 'Grawlix'; If I sense any Signs to replace Fuk,
I dont get this
All that time training like Goku..it's irrelevant if your fists means danger,
it's Hyperbolic... U'll be in a Daze for Weeks I'm on another Level w/ the chamber...
Didn't need all the extra set ups here. Hyperbolic was dope
Did all Gun bars cus I'm Beast Mode...
Push who's buttons? Everything I 'Write down' is a Cheatcode
THis is a stretch
VOTE: Body I didn't really love this battle, but I know you guys will come better one you shake a little dust off.
Re: LLL Week 3: BodySnatcher (0-0) vs. Unfukwitable (0-0) - OPEN 4 VOTES
Fall & wits end was nice
Rorschach was cool
Machanical pencil is an old concept
Capsule pop is aright
Liked cosmo
Vs
Dis ting wish was dope
Censorship could have been better
Daze for weeks was cool
Only bars I was feeling from fuck
Both y’all openers were meh... I’ve read better from both I think if body stuck with his gun bars and less wordplay it would have been a better read but he had more quotables for me here.
V/body
Re: LLL Week 3: BodySnatcher (0-0) vs. Unfukwitable (0-0) - OPEN 4 VOTES
I wished Unfuk took more time w/ his other lines bc i liked that Hyperbolic jawn & Jap line was aight but had too many lows here/off concepts to me for me to lean his way.. Grawlix should have been entirely redone IMO..whereas BS played it safe even though the comparison lines can get repetitive to me.
capsule was coo..
V- BODY
Re: LLL Week 3: BodySnatcher (0-0) vs. Unfukwitable (0-0) - OPEN 4 VOTES
plaque was a fire start
wit’s end was decent
the setup was whatever but Rorschach was a heaterrr
mech pencil was aight, concepts are nasty so far tho
wasnt feelin wine
nahhh at the closer
vs
wasnt feelin the opener
dis ting wish was clever.. felt like i had to say it in a jamaican accent tho haha
jap was nassstyy
dunno about quickdraw
hyperbolic was ehhh, felt like it coulda been reworded to be crazier
same with the closer
unfuk was solid, a lil rewording with the last bars and this woulda been a different story, feelin the jap line.. body had rorschach and plaque that were my 2 fav this battle
v Body
Re: LLL Week 3: BodySnatcher (0-0) vs. Unfukwitable (0-0) - OPEN 4 VOTES
Myfault I got busy and aint wanna N/S.... ima bring it next rnd props to Body