THE GEPETTO TRANSMISSION PT:1

..... Prelude to 'The Pinocchio Complex'



THE GEPETTO TRANSMISSION

Pt:1

DATE: The not so distant future


I was a genius and prodigy in anthro•botic machines ........
Had a college degree at the age of 13 from Carnegie Mellon,
Cal-Tech & G.T., a Summa Cum Laude with graduate honors
A doctorate from Hopkins and scholarship options to Harvard
And Oxford and Mass•a•chu•sette ... was a natural shoe-in ...
To Google and DARPA and NASA's 'Next Gen.', a bionic wiz
And math•matician ... indebted to Tesla and Isaac Newton
The wisest student with the brightest ideas: so incandescent
Like Edison's fibs; a specialist in 'intelligent trends' ...........
((Robotic solutions)) for weapon systems; recruited by Hewlett
To build a "defense": Transhuman computers who couldn't resist
Unethical orders, immoral commands, as we roamed the expanse
Of the Red Planet's sands searching for oil and hydrogen gas
For hyper advanced mechanical use -- the gamble was huge
We trampled the dunes like Arabic Jews in gravity boots ...
As tactical troops loomed in pursuit awaiting a chance ...
To swoop in & shoot & loot us like tombs in a Lucas production
Cos Jupiter's dungeon was the Martian campaign, the harshest ...
Terrain, just parchness and grains, & arsenic "rain" like a star ...
Set ablaze in Andromeda's space! Was harkened to days ...
Of Western Expansion or 'Manifest Destiny' except in a desert
Of extraterrestrial uncharted integrity! As far as expectancy ...
I readied the bots for imminent war on "John Carter's" rock!
As our instruments clocked the riches we sought ...
Near pyramid blocks that appeared to be ruins
Of Ancient Egyptian and Angkor influence (?)
Saw faces of Druids and Olmecs in stones
Adjacent to races with human genomes ...
Like Homo-Erectus and Gaints included ...
Was science deluded? My mind was confused
When I stepped in a room of flying illusions: the violence
Was lucid events of the past like dinosaurs dying from
Sudden Impact -- Atlantis subsiding & plummeting fast
As Atom and Eve were stuck in a lab! I chuckled & laughed
In shocking belief as I shuffled my hands thru hologram screens
The knowledge was deep, it was awesome to think, the Martians
Were "WE" -- just taller and darker homogeneous beings .........
Dreadlocks that gleamed like Solomon (King) & Sheba (his Queen)
Who harnessed our genes into harvested seeds that grew into
Trees of hu•man•ity! The union complete between Man & his Maker
The true missing link in our Sapient nature ....

http://www.impactoptics.com/images/s...of-turin-3.gif

(To be continued)

son, u already how i felt about the content, i'll touch on the mechanics this time around...

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I was a genius and prodigy in anthro•botic machines ........
Had a college degree at the age of 13 from Carnegie Mellon,
Cal-Tech & G.T.,

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on the real, at first i was a bit lost on the flow.....BUT when i caught i was like OOOHH SHIITTT, this nigga! I've never seen a callback done like that. you clever muhfucka

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A doctorate from Hopkins and scholarship options to Harvard
And Oxford and Mass•a•chu•sette ... was a natural shoe-in ...
To Google and DARPA and NASA's 'Next Gen.', a bionic wiz
And math•matician ... indebted to Tesla and Isaac Newton

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the multies and transition here was on some other shit. with content to boot.

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Isaac Newton
The wisest student with the brightest ideas: so incandescent
Like Edison's fibs; a specialist in 'intelligent trends' ...........
((Robotic solutions)) for weapon systems; recruited by Hewlett
To build a "defense": Transhuman computers who couldn't resist
Unethical orders, immoral commands, as we roamed the expanse
Of the Red Planet's sands searching for oil and hydrogen gas
For hyper advanced mechanical use -- the gamble was huge

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another innovative callback. come, son!

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Of the Red Planet's sands searching for oil and hydrogen gas
For hyper advanced mechanical use -- the gamble was huge
We trampled the dunes like Arabic Jews in gravity boots ...
As tactical troops loomed in pursuit awaiting a chance ...
To swoop in & shoot & loot us like tombs in a Lucas production
Cos Jupiter's dungeon was the Martian campaign, the harshest ...
Terrain, just parchness and grains, & arsenic "rain" like a star ...

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knock it off, nigga

i can go on and on. tbh, not sure if its just cuz we look and approach topicals from the same perspective and plane but i fuck with this heavy. not only did it do the seemingly impossible, the merging of plot and solid rhyme mechanics but it pretty much checked all the box i like. the imagery, the creative language, the schemes, all came together nicely to push a narrative that is so far, able to pull u in. certainly another one for the book, my brother. #empire

I was a genius and prodigy in anthro•botic machines ........
Had a college degree at the age of 13 from Carnegie Mellon,

[quote]]damn this was butter here, with the rhyme schemes, made for a cool flow.[/qoute]

Cal-Tech & G.T., a Summa Cum Laude with graduate honors
A doctorate from Hopkins and scholarship options to Harvard

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same as before, your multies was cool as shit here, feeling the story progression so far.[/b]

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And Oxford and Mass•a•chu•sette ... was a natural shoe-in ...
To Google and DARPA and NASA's 'Next Gen.', a bionic wiz
And math•matician ... indebted to Tesla and Isaac Newton

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damn this was pretty sick, feeeling the issac newton shit, the rhyme scheme dope here.

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The wisest student with the brightest ideas: so incandescent
Like Edison's fibs; a specialist in 'intelligent trends' ...........

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The connection here was great, see what he did here? issac newton, then wisest student on the next bar, nice.

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((Robotic solutions)) for weapon systems; recruited by Hewlett
To build a "defense": Transhuman computers who couldn't resist

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cool here, feeling the techish story you got going here.

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Unethical orders, immoral commands, as we roamed the expanse
Of the Red Planet's sands searching for oil and hydrogen gas
For hyper advanced mechanical use -- the gamble was huge
We trampled the dunes like Arabic Jews in gravity boots ...

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hahaa @ like arabic jews in gravity boots, they have arabic jews? anyway great content here, keep it coming.

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As tactical troops loomed in pursuit awaiting a chance ...
To swoop in & shoot & loot us like tombs in a Lucas production
Cos Jupiter's dungeon was the Martian campaign, the harshest ...
Terrain, just parchness and grains, & arsenic "rain" like a star ...
Set ablaze in Andromeda's space! Was harkened to days ...

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love how you staggered the rhyme schemes here, your showing some skill here, some dope internals to, multies are on point.

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Of Western Expansion or 'Manifest Destiny' except in a desert
Of extraterrestrial uncharted integrity! As far as expectancy ...
I readied the bots for imminent war on "John Carter's" rock!
As our instruments clocked the riches we sought ...
Near pyramid blocks that appeared to be ruins
Of Ancient Egyptian and Angkor influence (?)
Saw faces of Druids and Olmecs in stones
Adjacent to races with human genomes ...

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rhyme schemes staggered everywhere here, usually people stop after the first four bars, but you keep em coming through out the whole part.

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Like Homo-Erectus and Gaints included ...
Was science deluded? My mind was confused
When I stepped in a room of flying illusions: the violence

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stepped in a room of flying illusions, that was fucking dope, loved how that flowed.

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Was lucid events of the past like dinosaurs dying from
Sudden Impact -- Atlantis subsiding & plummeting fast
As Atom and Eve were stuck in a lab! I chuckled & laughed

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stuck in a lab, chuckled and laughed, this was pretty dope here, lab and laughed don't really technically rhyme, but the way you set this up, it flowed perfectly together.

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In shocking belief as I shuffled my hands thru hologram screens
The knowledge was deep, it was awesome to think, the Martians
Were "WE" -- just taller and darker homogeneous beings .........

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nice, we talking about martians now, or we as martians, like in some scientist say that humans are martians, I dig it

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Dreadlocks that gleamed like Solomon (King) & Sheba (his Queen)
Who harnessed our genes into harvested seeds that grew into
Trees of hu•man•ity! The union complete between Man & his Maker
The true missing link in our Sapient nature ....

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cool ending here, went with a different ending from what it sounded like during the start, it was a excellent conclusion to a modern scientish type story.

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overall, you had an awesome performance here, I was feeling how you staggered your rhyme schemes throughout your bars, you would expect your schemes to end at the end of bars, but you have an effective internal scheme going on, also was a fan of the pattern interupts you had throughout the verse, definately a worthy read here, good job.

whattup tho, i sought yall out on this site. Figured I'd branch out my climate.

I love your use of language. It's hard for me to break this piece down because we write about as differently as two people can write. I wouldn't want you to write more like me, so why would I zero in on the rhyming? For my personal preference, as far as open mic stuff is concerned, this didn't really jump out at am. I got a lot of the inners and a few ending rhymes but the lack of ending rhymes (tried finding assonance but it wasn't there in the moments i expected it) kinda threw me.

I resorted to letting the term "open mic" slip from my mind and just read it in general. This is where I found myself enjoying the shit out of this. Again, your use of language is masterful and wise. The confidence you write with is commendable. This isn't the kind of work that gets me all pumped up to write my own stuff, but, rather, it is the kind of stuff I like to read with coffee (which I'm doing now). It is a "read" for me as opposed to a moment of studying.

I dig the syntax the most, i think. It comes off confident, like i said, and almost braggadocios. By the end of the piece, the first thing i thought was "this dude knows what he is doing."

Kudos <3

Thanks for all the positive feed fellas. It's truly appreciated. Especially come from you three. Respect.

Haha this is really dope shit Self!! man, i get caught up re reading your pieces and its just consistently, really good stuff man. even the first few bars had me laughing man loved the little nods to all the big ivy schools out here, and just flaunting their highest achievements like they weren't any less than an easy task. Then bouncing to some sciences greats like tesla, newton, edison and hewlett lmao. I bursted out at the arabic jews in gravity boots lines, Clever! The interplanetary imagery was dope it was like a very-vivid-voyage! dinosaurs dying from sudden impact line was a nice switch up too. The ending was interesting and reminded me of a buddy of mine that was deep into ancient egyptian religion, was into a book called the metu-netter, about the seven circles of our conscious being and animalistic natures, symbolized by the higher gods. like an ancient psychology if you will, very great stuff, feeling the ancient alien-futuristic vibe, thanks for another dope one!

Thanks for the great feed, bro. It seems like you really absorbed the content. I'm stoked you enjoyed it. Real talk. Also, coincidentally I actually have that book. Actually the entire series. It's some real elevated reading. In fact, you really need to study, read other books, then go back and reread parts of the MN just to truly grasp all of its content and concepts. It some pretty profound stuff.

Give this man his HOF. All I see on here is a bunch of wack ass shit then there's this dude who's posting gold every time he drops. Don't make no damn sense


Lyrics: why dont you give him some good feedback and nominate his piece then?

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Originally Posted by OG Maestro

Give this man his HOF. All I see on here is a bunch of wack ass shit then there's this dude who's posting gold every time he drops. Don't make no damn sense

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I'll kill you with one punch to the face OG.....dont test me