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17 Candles
I am just about 17 therefore
I have exceeded the amount of wisdom and experience
i had previously acquired, through it all
I've witnessed excitment and breakdown,
New life and tragic death and extracted knowledge from all
I've danced with the devil and I've eaten in God's house
Felt pain, felt joy, held women in my arms
Slept inside and outside of hospitals. Waiting
Contemplating the meaning of my existence on this earth
Soaking wet from the deep sea of thoughts
I have learned that wisdom only is packaged with age
If you desire and allow your mind and soul to receive it
At night i lay and see that the time i wasted will never be,
Relinquished from its prison named "past" Therefore,
Even when it is gloomy and gray, so i must say even with the pain
There is happiness and positive spots in
The negativity of the worlds current, Pre-apocalyptic
Society.Thank God I'm 17
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Re: 17 Candles
Seventeen is an interesting age where children usually start moving into adulthood. I'm glad you presented some of those issues that go through the minds of seventeen year old, though this a bit more "poetic" than things they actually thing. I think that including some real world thoughts would ground this in reality. Overall emotion was strong. The beginning and the end with the reference to the age 17 really acted as hooks for me and enjoy the whole piece.
-Sam
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Re: 17 Candles
thanks dude and up for feed
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Re: 17 Candles
thanks dude and up for feed
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Re: 17 Candles
thanks dude and up for feed
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Re: 17 Candles
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Re: 17 Candles
wow.
very interesting read. you used alot of big words in very meaningful form. which i always kinda find cool. i thought this poem was really interesting cuz the meaning doesnt jump out at first....nut really stands out and presents its self in a creative format as you read along. it is also written in a complex manner BUT still straight forward enough where people can relate to it
( should they have the brain power to understand the vocab)
i lkie this alot dude. these real life poems are my favorite to read out of any type of poem. nice shit for real.
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Re: 17 Candles
This was good......my fav. lines were as Follows:
Relinquished from its prison named "past" Therefore,
Even when it is gloomy and gray, so i must say even with the pain
There is happiness and positive spots in
The negativity of the worlds current, Pre-apocalyptic
Society.Thank God I'm 17
the thank god I'm 17 thing was really poetic.
thanks for the Read.
pz.