Emily

http://rapbattles.com/forum/image.ph...ine=1497365843


I thank you for last night, vigorously invigorating
You disseminating my lust from what's intimidating
Initiating lost love's reclamation to wounded ventricles
Significantly centrifugal in distracting the cynical
The crossing of your breath against the tides of touch
Chides the fuss of searching for my solace of Eden
Now polished egregiousness becomes a bride of hush
Listening to the perching of calm, abolishing heathens
Blistfully a follower that I practice your biblical symposium
Composed to the nines, I'm twined at nauseum
Sickened to the core employing grants of you, medicinally
Finessing the aggressiveness trapped in my brutish movements
Playing the fringes of my veracity with intention, quizzically
Filling my appetite to the brim with fruitful prudence.....

Then the sun beams of the crest of my upward face
Racing in the creases that my eyelids forgot to replace
Watered down pillowcases and sheets remembers my scream
For the nature of what's previously stated was random pieces of a dream.....

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=1#post8867042

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=1#post8867041

This was okay to me,

Emily is a tittle for this verse
I wish had more feelings and thoughts

Hey 143 this was an um interesting piece lol a bit too, I liked the tides of touch line and wish you would opt for more poeticism and depth in mechanics like that assonance. Besides having a bit of cryptic wording because of some of the diction used. The ending excerpt wasn't a huge twist and kind of took away from the piece especially in its comedic factor, it couldve been executed well and have a great light of humor. As it was it was a fun idea. Keep penning!