Chicken Scratch On A Denny's Napkin

4:26 a.m.

My Cinderella danced barefoot
over broken glass
As Humpty Dumpty seeped eggnog
from his opened head,
while the frog turned prince was asleep
When he croaked in bed
I hope, he at least, found peace
with his troubled past.
"... see, there's a Beauty in the Beast,
he just needs a bath",
Said the Big Bad Wolf
to his ethics class.
Look
Captin Hook sent a message in a bottle
that I never read
and now it's lost, boy
.. ala Peter Pan.
Yo, I'm a snobbish alcoholic
I like my mascoto red
and huffing oxygen
is carci°no°genic
when you're Aquaman
Nah ...
I'm really just a comic
that forgot to laugh
and that's a lazy entendre
for my fans and Stans.
GOTdamn, man,
I think I need a Hand
and a standing ovation
for my favorite band.
Saw John Snow getting toasty
in the South of France
while I stood upon the Mountain top
and surveyed the land.
It's crazy, fam ...
How everyone's a critic of my dope,
guess I'm Breaking Bad ...
I'm so HBO when I post,
-- that's no basic plan ...
I let the drac-o blow
like Sopranos
at tomato stands
I'm Marlon Brando with a 'fro
and a Native tan
"I sent a Wire to ya folks
... it's like 80 grand
and told Proposition Joe
what he didn't know
about the Method Man"
I roll with Marlo smokin Marlboros
in an ambulance
and keep a bando full of bones
for the voodoo jam!
... my hoodoo can ...
make u hoola hoop through
A ring of fire in the Zulu sands
An ancient empire that was too adavanced
For modern-day humans
and their stupid Klans
"Excuse me, Pam.
I think I use to be your lover
in another life
and Bruh Man was the husband
of your uncle's blood cousin's wife"
So fuck yo baggage
I got luggage
and my shit is twice
the life time supply
they allow on flights
I lug this ball and chain
like a symbol of my pride
a simple sigil
meant to visualize
that I ain't livin' right!

... and so I type.

not bad. I'll highlight what I liked/thought had an air of freshness to it.

"I'm really just a comic that forgot to laugh"

"I'm Marlon Brando with a native tan"

those were probably your best parts. the delivery would be smoother if you tried tightening the rhymes a little more and maybe focused less on putting colorful concepts in. like I dig how you started off, or at least the direction it was taking, but it fell short for me.

fuck a mother goose, with rhymes I'm spinnin' gold but what's the use
when a brutha wonna walk up on me just to gimme bloody shoes?
I'm ridin' red, while I be bumpin' blue, tuned to sumn cool,
watchin' y'all get it like y'alls got nothin' to lose,
bitch I'm sumn but nothin' to prove.

that's a just a (free)style, and it's loose enough to read easy. see what I mean? peep it though, you got heart. keep doin you.

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Originally Posted by annagreyf

I really had a great time with https://www.assignmenthelper.com.au/...signment-help/ your post! I am looking forward to read more blog post regarding this! Well written!

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Don’t post this shit here. Leave feedback

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Originally Posted by Kill Spree

Don’t post this shit here. Leave feedback

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That's a bot my nig.

This for being just chicken scratch on a napkin had me tuned in, loved the rhymes and the references to the the nursery rhymes and stories. Peter pan , big bad wolf , beauty and the beast. Deft was a fun read post more bro and show us what u truly can do

This was a pretty good verse, Self Activate. It was a fun and pleasurable read. Fun, and good content; mixed with nice rhyme scheme and multi-syllabic rhyming. I enjoyed all the subtle references to Disney, and everything. It was quite fun and accessible. There's nothing really wrong with this piece. It was nice in it's content, and rhyme scheme. This was quite good; nice. Keep writing.

That’s a big ass napkin

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Originally Posted by AJ the Menace

This was a pretty good verse, Self Activate. It was a fun and pleasurable read. Fun, and good content; mixed with nice rhyme scheme and multi-syllabic rhyming. I enjoyed all the subtle references to Disney, and everything. It was quite fun and accessible. There's nothing really wrong with this piece. It was nice in it's content, and rhyme scheme. This was quite good; nice. Keep writing.

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