scorn of a patriot

Scorn of a patriot

I've witnessed you mutilate skeletons,
which is why I carry the skulls of the dead,
They rattle in my pocket like spare change,
to the rhythm of the pulse in my head.
I'm pained by the fact that one day
I won't have funds to buy gauze when I'm bled.
But I'll die before you find me in uniform,
saluting a cross with the Red.

I've had it with your deadly discord,
and the cries your dissonance.
Fed up with a mind controlled by the militant,
trying to manipulate the fragile life of our chrysalis.
And it's a vicarious duty for me to count the seconds
until the White of your missiles hit.

I'm sorry to say, but-
I snorted that line you drew in the sand.
In accordance,
you put the few on the stand.
unaware that your rhetoric
would put the coup in demand.
And give me reason
to paint a bomb threat
with the Blue in my hand.

Whew, that was a refreshing read man. From the first few lines of this poem i was gripped, the imagery you exhibited in the lines...

Quote:

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I've witnessed you mutilate skeletons,
which is why I carry the skulls of the dead,
They rattle in my pocket like spare change,
to the rhythm of the pulse in my head.

---

this served as a great intro to the entire piece. As the stanza progressed you were equally descriptive giving insight that the narrator is a soldier and you show the "Red" as not only a part of the flag's color scheme but also the blood which was a nice touch.

In the second stanza your choice of words was the strong point, (though i think you may have omitted a word in the second line) which helped your imagery and again strung along the theme of the flag's colors using the white to illustrate the missile hitting it's mark, again nicely done.

The last stanza carries with it the steam of the entire piece and ties up the theme nicely, overall this was an enjoyable read man, keep it up.