Quote:
Her smile. her movements, Impeccable,
though impetuous, permissible.
Like adolescent angst; it's kind of cute, u know?
That Radiant fury; Lava laden portrait
Mona Lisa’s half smile.
Lay my coffin.That's the end of me.
Sordid pantomime for the office
Crow feet danced the macabre
My Infectious maybelline...
queen, Smile, so fuckin gorgeous!
Spark of the party. sparks soared between us. She's...
Your devices are very layered. Your verses almost always possess traces of repetition from stanza to stanza, be it in the form of mechanics, language used or a reoccurring theme that serves as some sort of subplot. It's very intriguing to decipher. Now, what I liked most about this section is the poetry you employed. It was both dark and airy at the same time. Almost like you wrote this while watching a Tim Burton film or envisioning yourself as Thanos writing a love poem to Mistress Death. This entire section was fire.
Quote:
Larger than life
Larger than you
Who are u, really?
Sammy? Verizon’s sales floor general?
Living lavish off commission residuals?
Home then school then work. Rinse, repeat the vapid schedule
Online rappin while she fraternize the celestials
Then one day she messaged you.
Riddling how she’s stuck on ritalin
A fucked up relief as you smiled a second or two
Not cause you’re glad she’s fucked in the head
But the fact she’s of the planet proves
She’s compatible with sad little you?
I like how it seems you switched between literally writing about the picture, as if you're actually having a conversation with this Gaia-like figure and telling her about your everyday existence lol, to somehow morphing it back into a love story where we find you professing your overwhelming gratitude for finding a mate as crazy and imperfect as you are.