Originally Posted by
Fact Machine
I caught the theme right away, that was never the problem for me. For me there are two problems which make this just ok when it could have been really good. One it has a good theme but only briefly touches on something that could be made into a whole song, which is why I say it's vague and lacks purpose, the purpose bit because it fails to actually take the theme to the many places it could go. Second the rhyme scheme starts strong but breaks off in several places.