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My Meaning of Life
My Meaning of Life
Takeing my stand I reprimand, all the times when I’m sinking in sand
To face all of life’s little demands, to frustrate my peace, beyond repair
Despair in the heart of the sinner, who graced upon this earth, cursed
As a outcast, shed from the light of justice, but intrusted in responsibilities
Thoughts provoked by deception of optical sounds, what is up, is down
Thinking of the occasion when contraception had magically occurred
I imagine if I had somehow concurred, I never would have been born
But now that I have my life is scorned, discarded as a drone not even a clone
Wondering through life like a dog, waiting for someone to throw me a bone
Able to pounce at a blink of an eye, spirit of a lion, yet I’m going to soon die
Wishing I knew why, the world is filled with hate, poverty and suffering
Was Jesus crucified? Or are people bluffing? Saying our sins have been repent
Yet were all heaven sent, pure and innocent , but were all sinners yet to offend
Martial status is the key to life, not counting bastard children not born from a wife
Born to feel pain, made to feel regret, protocol to be happy, though our fate is set
Waiting for the rain, always in a fret, life is so sappy, and we're not heaven sent.
Links I replied to:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...29#post1477429
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...32#post1477432
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UP - please dont sleep on this, drop links and i'll reply to em.
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Good lyrics. I loved the vocabulary, and the many multies scattered throughout. The topic was pretty deep, I liked it... You stuck to it well, and you've shown growth as a writer and storyteller... You just need to fix your structure and flow, some lines (especially the ones towards the end) are way too stretched
Keep at it
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i think this was ok, what you were actually saying was decent, but the execution lacked somewhat, it was way too stretched and you bars didnt really rhyme, if you sorted this out, this would have been alot better to read.... interesting, but.. like i said
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the flow was a bit off in spots i thought and the content sort of felt aimless. however this bit:
"Wishing I knew why, the world is filled with hate, poverty and suffering
Was Jesus crucified? Or are people bluffing? Saying our sins have been repent
Yet were all heaven sent, pure and innocent , but were all sinners yet to offend"
was nice, i like the flow and everything.
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Word at the last two replies. This was ok. Concept has been done, and the flow was a little off in spots. It just didn't keep my attention, and it didn't have me attatched to the read. This was about average. Kep doin' it though, homie.
My Open Mic:http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=133021
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The flow got off a little but u did ok overall. My only problem was that it seemed like u didn't stay on topic. It seemed like you were going from one intellectual idea to another but not connecting them as a whole unit. It was decent and fairly entertaining. Keep it up.
Can u reply on my OM? its in my sig.
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i like this peice but it had one problem like the flow being off in spots which was the only thing i didnt like bout it other than that pretty good drop
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I think it was meaningful, interesting and enjoyable.
Wishing I knew why, the world is filled with hate, poverty and suffering
Was Jesus crucified? Or are people bluffing? Saying our sins have been repent
Yet were all heaven sent, pure and innocent , but were all sinners yet to offend
^ favourite part, I thought the same thing a long time ago.
keep on writing!
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UP - Thanx for the feedback drop links.
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Re: My Meaning of Life
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Re: My Meaning of Life
I loved the metaphors you used, and the content. I especially could relate being adopted with the why am I supposed to be here type stuff. And of course the humanitarian stuff how so many people just have it twisted. Loved it.
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Re: My Meaning of Life
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Re: My Meaning of Life
Every time I read this I see and love it more... do you believe in ghosts? It sound crazy but like this song once said she was up writing at 2am so it no longer threatens the soul it belongs to... that reminds me of this piece. Too serendipitous not to be.
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Re: My Meaning of Life
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