The HATE Mag - LLL Week 6

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Intromotherfuckingduction


Yes indeed you egotistical fake gun toting internet tough guy hoe ass punk bitches...it's time for the HATE! Blue and Clout have been showering you soft little cunts with praise, stroking your egos, giving you props...but not this week. This week you get brought back down to earth and then stomped into it. But before that, I have to thank you all. Thank you for providing the endless examples of how lame and pathetic you all are. Without all of your unyielding efforts to be the lowest grade of fucktards on the net, this mag just wouldn't be possible. Whether its @hello there hawking every @Barcotic post to the point of it being borderline flirting, or @Lenox passively threatening suicide, or @Lay Doubt positng enough walls to make Donald Trump forget about Mexico., you lame bitches just can't help but to embarrass yourselves and I thank you for it. ON TO THE MAG...




Weak 5 Reviews


Sinning vs Hello There

This is exactly it. The point in the mag where I start to reaaaally regret agreeing to do this shit. Now I gotta read battles like this, and find something to fucking talk about. What could be said about a battle that HT actually wins? Like put that shit into perspective, how bad does the battle have to be for HT to come out as the victor? The only thing worse than his votes are his verses, and somehow this fucktard @Sinning manages to lose. But I guess that's to be expected from someone who puts "12 Bars..." at the end of his 6 bar verse. In the battle of CLOWNS, Hello There wins. FML


Dominate vs Blas

Well this was actually a really good battle, if you're into being disappointed with basic wp and trash personals. Dom brought his usual lackluster style, two syllable wp's, the worst Nipsey flip by a mile, and a coding reference that went completely unused. And tbh, it was really looking like it was all over for him. Like the L and sign out were just another 12 lines away. Then Blas from the past came through with two, not one but TWO, of the most god awful, dumb simple, "Dom" nameplays the text world has ever seen. This was an upset for sure. As in I was upset I fucking read it. Siggggh.

Resin M-I-C vs Josh S.

Soooo just a second ago I said Dom dropped the worst Nipsey flip. By a mile. I have to confess, I had not read this battle at that time, and I must apologize to Josh. Josh, your Nipsey bar was in fact waaaaay worse, I'm sorry for slighting you. Lucky for Res too. Everyones favorite semi-active-formerly-good battler used THREE quotes for one lame ass Bitmap punch, then basically ignored that ammo completely. He also started off his verse like someone struggling to start a freestyle. "yea lets get it.....aiyyo.....ayy.....check it.....uh......ay......."



Contender's Match

Exalted vs Ryno

I'm so confused. Ex is battling someone who's recently been accused of biting, he quotes that accusation, then proceeds to drop generics in 7 out of 8 bars. I don't even know text battling anymore. I remember when getting called a biter could end you coz of how much ammo if gave your opponents. SMH you 2019 muhfuckers are soft as babyshit wrapped in cotonelle. Anyway. Lucky for that generic-wielding-waste of a contender, Ryno decided it's been too long since we've heard a Bledsoe play and used it to throw his champ shot into a blender, turn it on high, and then drop a fucking nuke on it. High five. smfh


CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Some-guy-that-barely-wrote-a-verse vs ..... King

You miserable dick riding fucksticks. How could I have lost this battle? Did you actually read the second half of my verse?? Coz it was easily the best close to a verse in the past 4-5 seasons. Blue dropped his usual tired ass wordplay, a few fake personals, and....wait....could it be? A NIPSEY FLIP THAT WAS EVEN WORSE THAN JOSH?!? That's an achievement in and of itself. I'm literally adding an accomp for "Worse Nipsey Flip than Josh" and adding it to Blue's list. And now this weak suck is gonna be champ. Wow. Just wow.



Bitch-ass Coward Rankings


5. Allen Knight

No show'd @Useless last week. SMH. Like for real? You no show a guy that's DQ'd himself in 3 of 4 battles? It's like a free win! And believe me, Allen, I've read your latest shit, you need as many free wins as you can get. You overrated never-was cunt rag.


4. Skurj.

No show'd @Barcotic. Now Barcotic manages to find himself a win every now and then (sun even shines on a dogs ass once in a while), but he dropped a Bark play, which he himself has been bitching about for months, and yet another 3-line punch. Coz ya know, we didn't discard that style 10 years ago. Skurj if u couldn't find a way to beat THAT shit, you should quit the internet. And life. Bitch.


3. Plot

So Plot, an overweight 67 year old tranny with parkinsons, saw dudes giving @Spitacular 1 ammo in the chat and decided his only way to survive was to duck. Reasonable. Even though beating Spit is so in right now. But he still takes the 3 spot in the Coward Rankings. OR maybe he saw Plethora signed back in and started having flashbacks to Pleth beating his ass like 27 times in a row last season, so he panicked and threw his PC out the window .


2. Lenox

Lennyyy. You no show'd Joe fucking Boston. Was there a lot of news lately? Were you afraid of an onslaught of current event jabs? Or more likely you're still being all fucking emo over your ex turning out to be Whowa. Whats that? You don't know what a Whowa is? Well allow me to explain with this video -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biFSXNcLe6U


1. Lay Doubt

THIS mothefucker right here. Comes back after not nearly long enough of an absence, posts wall after wall about him being a god damn legend, then loses one battle and goes full Barcotic and signs out. LAAAMMMEEEE. You're that fragile you little fairy? You're frail internet ego couldn't handle an L from someone widely considered to be one of the best to ever do it (fuck knows why tbh)? You know what, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. LETTERMAN BEAT YOUR FUCKING ASS. Now go sign out of life you sorry excuse for a grown man.




Interview With Hello There

Quote:

---

So the hate mag just wouldn't be complete if I didn't interview the biggest fucking hater in the league. How exactly did you find this site? And when you decided to sign up, did you plan on being a massive cunt or did it just work out like that??

Rude.


So your votes have been a point of contention since day one. Personally I enjoy you telling these talentless keyboard warriors how terrible they are, but then I see you drop and i think to myself "if he broke down his own shit like he does everyone else's, he might drive himself to suicide". So...have you thought about throwing yourself off a building? Orrr?


Wait a minute. I think I see what's going on, here...


I've noticed you and @Barcotic are tight. Where did you two first meet and who picked up who?


You do know the only reason you champed a season of LLL is because Blue went through the entire dictionary in the weeks before you battled, right?


You have the personality of an egotistical Subway manager. What do you actually do for a living? Does society value you in any way or do you just make sandwiches and yell at employees for using too many slices of cheese?

For real? I buy, sell and turn around businesses. Right now, I'm running a nine figure financial company.

I would troll you with this question but I feel like the real answer just trolls you more.


If you had to pick three of the idiots in this league to fight to the death on a PPV who would you pick and why?

Anyone but you.

Your battles haven't been interesting since that one time you did that one cypher bar. You know the one I'm thinking about?

Neither does anyone else...

---

Verse of the Weak


Sinning

I have sonnet onyx, I'm a rapper with correspondence
When do I even have to write a diss? If I hear 'Hello' from this ugly bitch - I'm not responding...
You're a coward death! I'm a demon that'll devour plagues
With this wack rapper, this is my 'first W' like replacing A in the Alphabet...
I have burn quotes; my style is so complex; you can't discern notes
Learn oaths, you may be cute..but I'm using the white fur in your avatar as my fur coat...
I sever scenes, I have the sharp sword made of Byzantine
When you try to throw a bar, you'll 'mystic'..when I is something you'll never be...
This pekingese is barking up the wrong tree; I'm a sistine king
I'm a mystic king..you have such a 'nervous tic' I thought you were a bitch with fleas...
I'm a rain kitten, I hit the ball out the court like badminton
I have dope sptting, and I'll 'send your soul to hell' with flame writtens...

12 bars...



Predictions



Josh S vs Honin

Battle of terrible name changes. Well there's roughly a 75% chance that Ronin, or whatever dumb fuck alias he's using this week, gets himself DQ'd. Soooo there's that. Then I have to consider that Reef flex uses wordplay like...well....Reef flex. This is gonna be a tough one, basically which pile of shit is less garbage...

Prediction - Text loses a little bit of itself



Blastard vs Joe Boston

Hmm. I just now realized that Joe Boston has been in the league for 4 weeks, Probably coz I'm usually in contender and champ matches so we don't cross paths often. Blas is a new head, seems like he's got some potential. Ironic enough he might just grow up to be Joe Boston some day. It's like a passing of the mid tier torch battle.

Prediction - Voters no show and battle ends 0-0



Aero vs Slecht

I don't know much about either. Slecht is a complete nobody. Destined to either no show or go ballistic when dudes don't like his cum/come wordplay and sign out. Aero I've seen around, but never actually battling. Comes off like some kind of text stan, which has to be the absolute most pathetic form of existence.

Prediction - Slecht sways at the exact moment Aero edits his verse post-deadline, double DQ.



Gyno vs JEM

You may have heard recent accusations that Ryno bit from a URL battler. Idk who bites a garbage ass bar like that Black Panther trash but to each his own I suppose. Meanwhile JEM CLEARLY has not bitten any bars. No chance. Unless he stealing from Sdizzle and TGF verses I guess.

Prediction - Ryno bites a bar from the verse JEM drops against him



Hello Queer vs BodySnatcher

Oh man can't wait to read this shit. I wonder if anyone reads anyone elses sections anyway. Since this battle is gonna be shit I'm just gonna use this section to see if any of these vain little bitches actually read about anyone other than themselves. Who actually read this?

Prediction - Honestly who gives a fuck. No ones gonna read it.



Spitwacular vs Resin M-I-C

Seeing these two back around is just...sad. Once titans of text, now fighting to stay at above .500 and struggling to beat mid-tier heads. Just shells of their former selves. smh. It's tough to see actually. Like me taking the time to read this battle. Just coz Spit likes comparisons so much.

Prediction - Both drop verses filled with concepts that have dust on them


Contenders
Dominate vs Barcotic

Bar is definitely overdue for a swaying chat meltdown, so imo it's pretty unlikely this even goes to votes. Which is a shame coz it would be dope to read some bars about who lost to me worse. Or maybe bars about how you both got sooo close but came up short in the end. Sucks that they'll suffer from Bars retarded wordplay or Doms clunky wording, but still.

Prediction - King wins again


Championship
Blue Gayou vs Exhalted

In this weeks episode of who's champ while King's signed out, we got Blue, the poster boy for quantity over quality, and Exalted, who I know basically nothing about. Fucking nobodies in the champ match smh. I can't take a week off without the league going to shit.

Prediction - Someone wins that eventually loses to me.



Punches of the Weak



12 Bars...
-Sinning after dropping 6 bars



Every word that's made to your mouth is depraved and uncouth..
You say "Non Cents" like Barc getting paid in the south..
-Hello There



Your bitch acting naughty, fuck her from behind thumb in her ass for hours
She ain’t got a body that’s resembles a vase, if I had chance I’d escape cuz the pussy smells like dead flowers
-Joe Boston



Reef Flex
-Reef Flex



Don't have time to finish this
Rap on some exquisite shit
Smashing these herbs
n Attacking these nerds
4 more lines
two more rhymes
My bad have fun with these geeks
n see u in a few weeks
-King...in a champ match


Outro

That's gonna wrap it up for the season 23 edition of the hate mag. Hope you all enjoyed and don't hate vote me for the rest of the season. And shout out to @hello there for doing the interview. Peace bitches.

I'm actually really fucking offended

Job well done

lmaoo

tf is the pt of this tho?
gd shit puttin in work, buuut u culdve used more of that in ur verse last wk. ;)

BOOM! ROASTED!

verse of the week was legit tho "i'm a rain kitten" was bars

lmfaooooo

this was amazing. I read the whole thing. Literally LOL'd in multiple places. Well done.

Yeah. Hate voting for sure.

God this was comedic gold. Love you all

Excellent

Lol Thanks gents

This is dope

Hahaha, okay.

King's a funny guy.

- - - Updated - - -

this was dope though