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With her divine bow she fired
silver arrows that never once
missed their target, but
When the huntress of the moon
gazes upon his grave in the sky,
pleasant dreams rewind the fateful pull;
moonbeam blade stilled, in time.
For only in wishes does a lover’s life
still burn the only fire she the light-bringer
had ever known
Now, man lies upon the grasslands
watching the midnight heavens
to catch the glimpse of celestial tears,
strung loose across the void.
If only, if only,
If only she had missed.
With her divine bow she fired
silver arrows that never once
missed their target, but
Beautiful tone in this TheIllyricist. Also, lovely pace. I think the pace is perfect.
There's a certain stillness to this piece that oozes class and charm, and we're only into the intro.
Well done.
When the huntress of the moon
gazes upon his grave in the sky,
pleasant dreams rewind the fateful pull;
moonbeam blade stilled, in time.
Omg, you've got such a brilliant way with words. So serene and divine.
Every line works it's magic here and plays so well with the line after it.
There's no way I can say I like one line more than the other. I think they're
all beautiful.
For only in wishes does a lover’s life
still burn the only fire she the light-bringer
had ever known
I know I'm over the top. But you're still making me melt lol.
You've captured an imagery that's crystal clear and emits light.
That line '...the only fire she the light-bringer had ever known...'
Stunning.
Now, man lies upon the grasslands
watching the midnight heavens
to catch the glimpse of celestial tears,
strung loose across the void.
And even the common man who doesn't have a halo,
looks to me, to be floating on descriptions and imaginings,
with picture perfect tone, still in place, and pretty pace,
backing up his every move.
If only, if only,
If only she had missed.
Ahh, you've...killed...meeeeeee. That was a perfect finish.
The Illyricist, this was something else. I love it.
The only negative thing I could say, honestly, is that I talked this through with
two commas somewhere where they weren't. lol. That's it.
But seriously, you've got lovely writing here.
It's dreamy and floats, and to me, paints a whole picture.
One that is clear and full of beauty.
Such a pleasure to read.
Great Read.
Thank you.
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This is getting a nom from me. I'm writing it here so I don't forget because we haven't got the June nom thread up yet.
Good stuff my friend.
Keep brining it!
This was building into a really nice story. You wrote some dope imagery
And managed to keep the diction fresh. Just one question tho. Since you refer
To the other character you have as "man". Is the huntress mother nature?
Its a bit vague for me in that aspect but the as a whole this was cool.
You probably would of benefited from writing a bit more but thats just
My personal take on it. Good read