Advice from my dad

My dad's advice to me when I was a disgruntled boy, around 7 years old.

Son, I want you to know what I really think of you. You are horny. When you were first born and I stared into your brobdingnagian fiddled fanny biscuits I knew right then that you would make me extatic. It's a big repugnant world out there and there will come a time when I wont be here anymore. You must take life's issues 3 steps at a time. Make sure you abuse your wife, be condescending to others, molest toddlers, buy a clean nog wolloping banana shaft first before inserting a new one, obey your uncle wanker and handle peer pressure the socialistest way possible. Don't deliberate, say no to frog nipples, don't fist and drive, find a exceptional boyfriend to call your own, be astronomical to him and son never give up your titty pincers. Stay true to yourself and always do what you know Marx would do. I know you want to become a clit twister some day, inflame those clits son! I love you son. -Dad