My fate to create

What's holding me back? only the mind inside my head.
Thinking about a better path, so I can try to get ahead.
I could be gone and dead but i put the rolled bill down.
When I'm actually sick is the only time I pop pills now
I was high up in the clouds, the ether I huffed brought me there.
I had sniffed H Lines and had to deal with the despair.
I smoked rocks and free base and blew it in the air.
U can complain and cry about how this life ain't fair.
I still pull at my hair when I step up the success ladder.
Cuz every step up I take I fall back down and splatter.
Like I always tell my self its mind over matter.
Shouldnt of drank too much now I gotta drain my bladder.
I tell u fuck the mad hatter, cuz he just part of the fairy tale.
I got my little raft prepared, me & Wilson bout to set sail
Speeding thru life like it was sonic and tails.
As long as I'm here alive you can come and hear the tale.