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the blues
got the blues a bit about a bitch
wanna hitch but "if she quit" makes me sick
got a pain that don't desist so quick
lets me hit and i persist i can't resist
defeated i'm licked beaten till i'm sleepin
can't rest so i forget where the car is at
like cardiac arrest the pain in my chest
hard to detect so stay smashed it's best
sometimes detest myself since i crashed
what does she see in me lord i love that ass
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...95896-One-wife
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?495819-Found
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Re: the blues
Adorable and I loved it... nice rhyme schemes but you could’ve maximized on them with a little fluff on words in the middle. Short in sequence worked well too!!! Good read...
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Re: the blues
I didn't like it. This piece was way too short for it to mean anything. <- Actually the amount of time it took me to write that sentence, was actually longer than the time it took to read this piece. This was real lazy. I doubt you'll come back here to improve your writing, but I think you could cut it......if you read some old OM HOF pieces and see were you can get up to.