Where the Story Begins

Where The Story Begins

Addiction stole my prime, a whole chunk of my life
Its gone forever now and I still suffer the strife
Everyday’s still a struggle I struggle to get it right
Just praying and hoping to see a tunnel to the light
Im humble when I write, see by faith not by sight
Think about it every time Im stuck at a stoplight
Will I veer off to the right and go back to my old ways
Mind telling me lies that lead right to the cold days
Disguised as a gold blaze, I suck up the sun rays
Talk to God for a second - snap outta my numb haze
Not dealing with the pain pills but the pain goes on..
Im jobless at 31 and all of my friends are gone
Sometimes I just wish I had someone to hold me tight
As I sit here by myself on another lonely night
They said it’d get better and sometimes it does
But there aint never going back to the way things was
I got faith ill find serenity, im forever pacing searchin
While in the back of my mind theres always cravings lurkin
Sometimes I hate this person, truly its been a burden
People judge me for what I am before I even get a word in
In this life theres nothin certain, I wish I could get away
All those years being lead astray has left a price to pay
I’m grateful to be sober each and every day
But how do you explain a 10 year gap on the resume?
I could never hold a job for long throughout my addiction
Hang around til things got bad and they got bad its a given
The disease progresses and you cant manage how your livin
Your damaged and just wishin you werent in this condition
If you call in sick again you know youll lose your position
But your out of options so you just disappear and go missin
Now your jobless, broke, highly addicted and fucked..
Withdrawal starts to kick in and your life fuckin sucks!
Now your backs against the wall so you finally ask for help
And they send you to rehab hoping you’ll comeback as yourself
A second chance at life! And all the hope that it brings
Until your back on your feet and your mind starts to swing
You got it this time, you have the will power to stay strong
You’ll be fine if you only take a few and not for too long
Then truth smashes you in the face and proves you so wrong
And your back in this place again with hope all gone
In and out of rehab, over and over...
Nobody understands why you just cant stay sober
This disease was ganna kill me until I hit an obstacle
I almost died that night and woke up inside a hospital
Worst experience of my life I had tears in my eyes
But lookin back now it truly was a blessing in disguise
Almost dying was my bottom and that's what it took..
To find myself deep inside of the big book
I met God and I was free from the shackles that bound me
But in truth its the other way around cuz God Found me
Its amazing all the grace and glory he sends
But this isn't where it ends this is where the story begins..