Better days

Better days
https://youtu.be/KPqjwS6HbpM

We used to argue about who loved who more
To getting divided by some side chick whore
I can’t remember much, only a touch I thought you were supposed to live and die for
I never prayed four
The dr says I’m not depressed
But I been stuck to the floor over way less
Maybe it’s just stress
It’s real shit cursed days being our worst days
Maybe it’s worth our ways for a penance
I thought you said what goes around comes around but maybe it was just a sentence
I used to ride for the felons who had no choice
I used to speak for peace when I had a voice
I just can’t believe what is true
And just how evil people really do

....

If I have a child I hope they remember this
That’s me, every eye and forehead kiss
It was all I ever used to wish for
These days I just wish for pain no more
In how I lived I can’t believe it came to this
I hope my fall in innocense stain every block and steps
Cause of how they do
I’m not hater I really am glad life is so much better for you
One day I’ll look back and laugh
At every ironic moment said walking this path
But when it’s everything your against and even the Feds...
Hello - congratulations I finally know why it was always about you
And why id look and smile and be so proud too

...

I hope your heart still shines from your eyes
And that one day you look back and realize, what was fake and what was true
And that I never bought you
Fought hard against the concept too
You got a family, a career, and success and everything in life I ever want
They say you get what you need instead but I didn’t need this front
It took me 6 yrs to graduate school
I even paid for it myself too
I got to go to London for work when I was back at my best
And I think I lost it all going all in on a bet
Maybe the next world is mine
I’ll recover but I’ll never get back my mind
So when your lost just press rewind
Back to the day when I was the one to find
It was when You first heard rise up that it broke your heart
Every time my rib aches it reminds me they permanently broke us apart

I feel you. This was pretty cool.

I like how you made it very conversational. That's not really easy to do. And it gets harder and harder as you make it want to rhyme better.

I would like to see you try to keep that conversational tone and bring in some more rhymes, inside the bars themselves. Only to challenge yourself to be more specific in the words leading up to the punch.

You def let the pain shine through. And I enjoyed reading it. I could hear your cadence and the rhythm of your speech. And I could tell the ways your thoughts moved as you thought about this situation.

I would have loved for you to dive a bit deeper into a specific moment. To really let me get a feel for it. To take a more narrow focus and take a deep dive on it.

But overall I really enjoyed reading this and am excited to read more from you.

Thank you that was a great compliment and don’t laugh but what exactly IS A bar? @High _and_drunk the 2 lines that rhyme right?