Brandon Cee (2-0) vs. Marvelous (2-0) [VOTE]

[Brandon Cee]

Rules and Regulations

Please notice the change of due times, and as always, good luck!

[Brandon Cee]

I should probably check.

[Art.]

well heyy there sirr

Links
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...191/index.html

[Art.]

Reflecting

I can still hear my mother saying,
That it is my choice to be a star.
Although, now its all fun and playing,
The people around us reflect who we are.

Looking back on that summer, now I actually wonder
If I really did listen to the words asked of my mother.
Imagine a tundra, with lightning flashing and thunder,
striking bashing like hunters, frightened, I fathom and wonder.

And notice how, the closest pals can joke and laugh
And spoken vows, hold us bound like holding hands
We Joke aloud, not knowing now what molds the plans
Just controlling now, not a hopeless frown was known to man.

Sitting in class, as we giggled and laughed
growing up together was this vision we had,
stick by my side, as the sun sits in the sky.
Yet my vision was blind, I was simply living a lie.

What set spark to my life, was when you started that fight.
Felt like my heart had been sliced, with a glass shard or a knife.
Veins bombarded with ice, Sat alone in darkness no light,
Like a lifeless carcus, it was my soul that departed that night.

So I spoke to another friend, maybe one of them, could make me smile.
Out of a hundred men, only some of them, would stay a while.
Like a jungle in, the toughest wind, this place is wild.
I'm stumbalin', and tumbalin', cause these snakes are vile.

Now i feel betrayed again, and I no longer hang with friends
foundation of friendship collasped, as the sky is now caving in.
I see those snakes again, smiles hide their fangs within.
Sharp venomous words penatrate and break my skin.

So unhappy and so depressed, I actually can't cope with stress
tears running down my cheek filling this valley of loneliness.
And now a little more hopeless, need a little time to cope with,
I feel like i can drown from the tears my pillow is soaked with

In the end learn from fakes, cause these friends turned to snakes
and leave your circle of trust, cut, and burned in flames
Something blinded my vision, during that time i was livin'
and wonder why my mothers words echoed in my head.. and why didnt i listen?

Why?

[Brandon Cee]

Meet the Barrier
by Brandon Cee

My world's optomized, I've compromised my passion for pain
Took lashings for days that couldn't beat a dead horse with an accurate aim
I felt immaculate, on some superhuman trip with an actual name
Acid's the flame, sparking every single interest in a capsule of shame
I drastically changed my status, sold out cause of a practical claim
And the truth became unhealthy, but I excused the tactics the same
So tragically wasted, hanging on by a thread - ripped at the seams
The room was full of flaming lips, my thoughts kissed with a dream
I saw the plot thicken, I took one look and the vision was seen
Still I couldn't picture the screen being modified to fit for the scene
There was a twist - drama slowed down and crumbled with doubt
I got heated, but chilled out...saw Jesus right before I stuck the ground
Cause I was HIGH, but the lowest I'd been was better than lately
Felt like I conquered so many tasks that there was nothing to break me
I was quaking in my boots and paranoia finally struck me with fear
And I was running my gears to escape, feeling like a buck in the clear
Disruption appeared, poked it's head in and constructed a mirror
So these images made me sick like words I couldn't stomach to hear
If judgement was near, I wouldn't blend decisions with pressure
But I'd keep them apart and make amends taking intricate measures
Mystical treasures, I'm likely shut down on some criticial pleasure
Physically, my mind's visceral - my head spins on this medicinal tether
So what if I died trying? I've traded a lifetime for a minute of fame
Skipping a lane, I'd do a drive-by everytime that I went to visit my brain
Cause it has been framed, no photograph could limit these chains
So if prison is blamed for it, I'd jump from a height like this isn't a game
Shit is insane, it's lame that I built a barrier to structure the truth
And the only time I speak honestly is when I'm sitting up in the booth
This is me from the past, being candid about the things that I say
I sinned and became a man and I always fight to get through the day
Cause as an addict I complained - I didn't get my fix at the time
But I was blinded by division and I split where my incisions collide
See, I overcame the blood, but tears and the sweat are abound
I guess sorrow will never be more than a place for my errors to drown
And I know that the silence creates diversions 'til it's perfect

BUT...

http://i52.tinypic.com/2n8u43.png

[Soule]

Marv, this was alright. Felt like the wording and concept could've been developed a lot better than what it was. A little too simple for my liking friend. The flow was pretty heavy, that was a definent pro. But the wording was real basic, and there really wasn't much creativity to the concept friend. Keep elevating though, duece.

Brandon, this was pretty cool. We kinda have a similar flow nowadays haha. I think I kinda picked up on your style a tiny bit. I was reading yours outloud and I though to myself ... I think I picked up on Brandon's style a little. haha. The wording was legit, and the flow was dope as hell man. Liked the concept and thought you ended this in a creative matter. Keep it up bro, see ya soon.

Vote Brandon, better read.

[Nahlidge]

Marvelous. Dope shit. Ill rhyme scheme. It's not easy to keep up a rhyme scheme like you did and still keep the content based around the concept of your piece. Good job with that. Technically this was written top notch. Hands down. The content was up to par with the technical side of this too. Had some slick lines that hit me on a personal level in there. Definitely somethin' people can relate to imo.

Brandon. Another nicely written piece. I liked the man in the mirror theme of this. That "died trying/traded a lifetime" line was ill. That line hit me the most out of your piece. Struck a chord with that shit lol. Good read.

Close battle here. 2 good drops. Similar in a way that they were written as a noticin' your wrongs kind of theme. But 2 different approaches. Kinda tough to vote on. I think I went back and read parts from both about 5-6 times now. And it buckles down to Marvelous havhin' the better rhyme scheme. Besides that these were even in every other aspect imo. Good battle.

Vote - Marvelous

[Mariah]

I'm with Dagel on this, but I agree with Nahlidge as well. Marvelous, your rhyme scheme was dope, in fact, having such a strong rhyme scheme is what makes this close cause there's very few people that can match up rhyme schemes with Brandon and it seems like you've done that. I really liked the concept of the piece too, but for me, the language/word choices seemed maybe too "natural"...*possibly more suitable for audio* and that was really the only thing I could find negative in this, I enjoyed the drop (I vote that you record it, but I'm just saying.) Brandon's piece also has a real dope rhyme scheme, but for me, personal shit always gets me and I think he took it here with a better developed concept overall. The fact that he was an addict and went through a bunch of shit like 4 years ago really shows alot about his character now and then. I particularly liked this section...

Disruption appeared, poked it's head in and constructed a mirror
So these images made me sick like words I couldn't stomach to hear
If judgement was near, I wouldn't blend decisions with pressure
But I'd keep them apart and make amends taking intricate measures
Mystical treasures, I'm likely shut down on some critical pleasure
Physically, my mind's visceral - my head spins on this medicinal tether

...I think that it reads so well and the meaning is so strong. I just feel his concept was done better with what he chose and in the end, this is more or less gonna be about preference in topic. Great battle, possibly BOTW here, I enjoyed this.

v/Brandon

[trajik]

Marv - Sick rhyme scheme, producing your great flow. Worded well, potentially could have used stronger vocabulary, but yours is alright. Great imagery in this piece as well. Decent concept, too. Really liked this section:
"
What set spark to my life, was when you started that fight.
Felt like my heart had been sliced, with a glass shard or a knife.
Veins bombarded with ice, Sat alone in darkness no light,
Like a lifeless carcus, it was my soul that departed that night.

So I spoke to another friend, maybe one of them, could make me smile.
Out of a hundred men, only some of them, would stay a while.
Like a jungle in, the toughest wind, this place is wild.
I'm stumbalin', and tumbalin', cause these snakes are vile."

Brandon - Holy fuck, this is up there in my top 2 favorite drops that I've read so far this season. This and Dagel's first week's drop. Your Rhyme scheme was incredible, the multis and internals through out, causing your flow to be really good. Your vocabulary is superb. You had some really good word play in there as well. This was just a really remarkable piece.

Vote Brandon, for his piece was simply the shit.

[Mr. Black]

much better battle than i first assessed on skimming

marvelous .. surprised me with how well he maintained everything for such a long verse. obviously an audio head which at times can be a rocky transition from this kind of writing.. a lot of people are convinced the line length affects how much content is required for an effective 'topical' .. but you proved that sometimes less can be more. you carried everything out very well. the formula was quality - introduce the central focus, revalent sequence and storyline, then close with the same idea in mind.. wrapping everything up. tight shit. i enjoyed it.

brandon - i think you encapsulated the addict's struggle well and even rossing the border of profoundly at times - it was a little dense for my taste and some of the lines forced me to trace back a couple steps and re-read to really get anything out of them. maybe its the line length or maybe something more stylistic. ive always dug how you can write those one-liners that tie in a couple different conceptual themes into a focal statement.. repeatedly. maybe this is why i find it so dense at times though. i start to go on auto-pilot when i roll with the punches. it wouldn't hurt to be a little more direct and simplistic in places, just to give the reader some mental space. take 5 bro..

anyway. i thoroughly enjoyed the direction both pieces took. one was a reflective chain of memories, and one a chemically imbalanced stream of thought.

gotta go with marvelous on this one.. with the come-from-behind (pause) victory.. probably woulda been the underdog coming into this one.

i just preferred his approach a bit more. definitely see this going either way.

good shit guys.

keep it up

1

[Vinzr]

Marv - great piece, I was really feeling the emotion in this one. I also though the metaphors and imagery were impressive in your piece as well. The story of the piece was nice, creative and effective. Not to mention the rhyme scheme was on point...had nothin' wrong to say about it.

Brandon - every week I read from you I'm convinced that your style is one of my favourites in this league. You've got a dope rhyme scheme and flow in this piece....and the content was also top notch here, its like you were just writing and the rhymes just flowed in automatically so no content was sacrificed for the sake of rhyming. Dope piece man.

v/ Brandon - for better verse

[MV]

Marv- your rhyme scheme was sick. some of the best delivery of fluid multi syllables i have read in awhile and pretty impressive how long you actually maintained that cadence good visual punch. i definitely had a strong visual image of your verse.

Brandon- only thing that set your verse apart of Marv imo was impeccable wording. your choice of vocabulary and situational use of it gave your drop a bit more imagery. i found your rhyme scheme close to if not matching Marv. but like i said content is what made the difference.

v/Brandon-stronger content

[Brandon Cee]

Brandon Cee wins (3-0)
Marvelous loses (2-1)

CLOSED