Rules and Regulations
Please note the due times in the rules. Be on time, and as always, good luck!
Rules and Regulations
Please note the due times in the rules. Be on time, and as always, good luck!
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
check
"the ink of a scholar, is worth a thousand times more, than the blood of a martyr"--lupe fiasco
"I'm sonnin' ya'll like father's day/disrespect pop and get popped like Marvin Gaye" Skillz
WRITTEN VOICES
What up son! it's the rematch!
Hopefully my head will be in it this week, last time we faced off I had the writer's block. Not taking anything from you though that was a sick verse you dropped the first time.
Votes
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...html?p=8243609
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...853/index.html
Last edited by trajik; September 5th, 2011 at 10:19 PM
infektedpenz
http://www.bahaitreasurer.us/photos/...en_and_pad.jpg
Note to Self:
I've opened my eyes many times in a lifetime that I've barely started.
An artist, arguably; tarnishing my perspective, boxed in my point of views
Proving only that I can use, truth and circumstance to have a chance
To live freely, writings easy, thinking; thats my problem. pleasing;
only myself; self expression rests neatly on this cotton lined paper.
feeling; rooted. My mind congruent with my hand, music; flows deep
In the half bit, fingertips, I write with. habitual imprints; divide wit
with drifting experience;
Life is an experiment in imagery, every smirk.
smile, blemish, every imperfection perfect, every entrance, exit. Worth it.
Sometimes I simply cannot word it. un-like similes that leave me searching;
For love. Above all that, Im trapped in this circuit, ever revolving circus
Purpose; Im still earning that right. A passage of life I left neglected despite
Attempting to drive this ink out, doubting I could even be proud of what I write.
Life is SACRIFICE
I've given my all in my family, 23 years old, without a kid of my own
Now that my brother is gone, I hold both of his sole possessions,
Keke and Arie, you are me. A reflection of your father is hardly deeper
I AM MY BROTHERS KEEPER. A dreamer I can never be again
They give me reason to keep fighting, at a time when life was growing on me
KeKe wrote a poem for me.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Me and Arie
Love you
Her "e" crooked to the side, oddly colored words; an undotted "i", I looked inside
She drew a picture, with her standing next to me, holding a convex heart
Folded and glued to her hand. with dandelions spread unevenly everywhere.
At times I stare, at her picture she probably forgot was there, tears roll off my face
Not from the sorrowful role they usually play, not today; this right here is love
Dug so deep, that sleep couldn't mimic it in dreams, as simple as it seems.
It means everything to me. She makes me believe in life and in the sacrifice I made.
Life is RESILIENT
They watched there father die, 25 yrs old I try to stay in control in hopes
I can lead by example; At times its more than I can handle, I try to channel
all their sadness, and still manage; to cope, hope is what I feed them,
clothe them with confidence and compliments. Tonight I'm stressed, and yes
they test my nerves; Yet I've learned, step by step, my poetry is my only outlet
thats connects me, as I collect these; feelings. Even when I protect this feeling.
My grieving is not over, I don't think I will truly get closure until they are older
For them I must hold my composure; their soldier, their rock of unflinching love
They been through so much; enough to make most folks go numb,
but they smile each day, they play, they dance, they read, they're okay.
they don't complain, they cry, they hurt, they deserve; everything.
Life is ADAPTIVE
My girl is amazing, my world, helping me raise these kids selflessly;
Without complaint, even with the abrupt change in out situation, rearranging
the house, 2 more mouths to feed, never did she put doubt in me, that she'd concede
Instead she proved she'd be, there; my queen stares; at my girls as they sleep
With the pride and sincerity only matched by me. to love; unconditionally
Even when our conditions were bleak,, thinking how are we going to make it through
True Love ADAPTS…Im more attached every moment I hold them, knowing
I will be there to mold them, console them, show them when to be shy,
when to fight for life. Tonight I write not for myself, but for my future wife and kids
Life is LOVE
And I write from the heart
Last edited by Express'on; August 31st, 2011 at 06:16 AM
"the ink of a scholar, is worth a thousand times more, than the blood of a martyr"--lupe fiasco
"I'm sonnin' ya'll like father's day/disrespect pop and get popped like Marvin Gaye" Skillz
WRITTEN VOICES
Man that shit is too good Krytical, I need to scrap my entire verse and start over can I get an ext?
Nah, actually I need the ext because I'm working Saturday so I lose valuable writing time.
Pleeeease
Edit: Nevermind, didn't have to work today so I won't require the extension, thanks though.
Will edit verse in the double post of this. Good luck Krytical.
Last edited by trajik; September 3rd, 2011 at 02:13 PM
infektedpenz
Addiction, Recovery & Aftermath
"Once it’s been dealt with you feel like you’ve been touched by something angelic
And then melted down into a pool of peace
Cease to be the animal you used to be
Remove the broken parts you know were wrong
And feel the karma when the problem’s all gone"
I don't recognize my eyes and the truth is disguised as lies
Mother tries to empathize but she despises my highs
Cries arise when I burglarize her monetary supplies
I received track markings on my sleeve by seeking reprieve
From this grievance, because I deceived everyone I believed
Was supposed to be close to me and provoked them to leave
Creating calamity, revoking my humanity
It's Ammityville horror in my mental capacity
Drastically untamed, an animal acting rabidly
Feeling unchanged, but perceived as an enraged beast uncaged
Mother proctors that I see a doctor before the next stage
Coercing me to avert the hearse on the subsequent page
"Once it’s been dealt with you feel like you’ve been touched by something angelic
And then melted down into a pool of peace
Cease to be the animal you used to be
Remove the broken parts you know were wrong
And feel the karma when the problem’s all gone"
The physicians mission is the toxin's abolition
Grim by his admission, but Mother's efficiently wishin'
That with ambition, a clean transition comes to fruition
Like earthquakes I'm getting shakes, it's hard to take but I can't break
Faking smiles for their sake and I'm unwilling to flake
Because the stakes are too great and I'm not spineless like snakes
Slithering in my skin, itchy and withering from within
Considering what my kin endured, bittering them with sin
Sitting in this setting, regretting letting myself get to
This situation, attempt resetting myself to get through
And settle the deficit to everyone I'm in debt to
"Once it’s been dealt with you feel like you’ve been touched by something angelic
And then melted down into a pool of peace
Cease to be the animal you used to be
Remove the broken parts you know were wrong
And feel the karma when the problem’s all gone"
Sober; seeking redemption for my cheating and deception
Bleeding dissection leading to the seeding inception
Of my neoteric self, fleetingly pleading ejection
From spite, I'm feeling dehydrated, thirsty for mercy
For the controversy initiated by the worst me
Firstly, I'm sorry, narcotics used to have me cursed, see
I wasn't myself, secondly I'm on my knees begging please
I'm released from the sleaze I used to be but still you freeze
Me out like packaged peas, refusing to seize my apologies
This must be karma, justly so I guess, hoping it would just be
Easier, obviously sobriety didn't thrust me
Into amnesty, time to adjust, if ever again you trust me
"Once it’s been dealt with you feel like you’ve been touched by something angelic
And then melted down into a pool of peace
Cease to be the animal you used to be
Remove the broken parts you know were wrong
And feel the karma when the problem’s all gone"
Quoted from Linkin Park - Part Of Me
Last edited by trajik; September 3rd, 2011 at 02:56 PM
infektedpenz
yea thats cool bro
"the ink of a scholar, is worth a thousand times more, than the blood of a martyr"--lupe fiasco
"I'm sonnin' ya'll like father's day/disrespect pop and get popped like Marvin Gaye" Skillz
WRITTEN VOICES
Krytical: emotional piece, clearly from the beginning i knew not to look for a flow. very in depth story, very detailed, let you learn more about the artist himself. concept was good idea, especially since this is that last week before playoffs. one part really stood out to me(quoted).
trajik: great vocab...pretty good flow, story was nicely told....started off a lil slow, picked up in the middle and last stanzas...i didn't like the switching off the rhyme scheme every 3 bars. concept not necessarily original but well executed. i think it couldn't had more depth to the story....having the beginning more so how he got addicted...that quote matches but i didn't the it need to be SO APART of the piece after every stanza....maybe just at the beginning and end....Sometimes I simply cannot word it. un-like similes that leave me searching;
For love. Above all that, Im trapped in this circuit, ever revolving circus
Purpose; Im still earning that right. A passage of life I left neglected despite
Attempting to drive this ink out, doubting I could even be proud of what I write.
i think this was really close, but i'd give it to krytical because i felt he just had a lot more emotion, creativity and depth to go along with an original concept
The Birth Of Creation
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Storyteller | Cr@$h | JMS | Meth | Celph Taut | Messiah | Bstill | Fatal
Krytical, really nice piece here man, more for the content then any super complex scheme/flow, but even the scheme/flow was solid through out, it was one of those pieces that just grab your attention, as its real life issues written in a way you can (as a reader) connect with it..
Trajik, you had a strong flow through out, the content was solid but I wanted more to the story, it was more how he was feeling, which you needed but you didnt really expand from that and give us all aspects to the concept, and try not using things like this: "like earthquakes im getting shakes" and "spineless like snakes", cuz those are really simple/played out concepts and definitely aren't gonna inhance a topical piece, so steer away from using things like that in future pieces, overall I liked the concept and the content, but I still just wanted more from it.. So overall I have kyrtical taking this, not a blow out but wasnt really all that close to me either though, felt kryt just told his story better, I was more interested in his verse then trajik's..
VOTE: KRYTICAL
Krytical wins
Trajik loses
CLOSED
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
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