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Rules and Regulations
Please note the due times in the rules. Be on time, and as always, good luck!
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
Originally Posted by Token
lmfao.. word, and wtf brandon, your record is like totally swaying n shit jp hahaha..
aigh, here are the stakes, if I win? I get to take Mariah out, if you win? Mariah gets to take me out.. deal? ok cool, DEAL..
CHECK!..
lmmfao!
check.
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
gwap, it's my birthday, drop tomorrow yo.
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
vote: Gwap.
happy birthday
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fucker beat me to it!
lol.. yeah I can't even drop til tomorrow anyways, been busy, haven't put any thought into it yet aha, happy birthday though brandini..
"Mysterious Ways"
Written by your Father
*7am rings an alarm*, he hops out of bed n he sighs
for another long day workin a job he would never resign
his hands on a project that would pressure his mind
to try and mold the world.. into a better design
at the same time knowing he'd need the touch of jesus
to build a modern Noah's Ark from a bunch of pieces
of brush.. n needless, to say.. his reasons to pray
keepin his faith, seein the things that are needed to change
started with the youth, stopped a young man through God n fate
but was filled wit a lot of hate.. so went ahead n robbed the bank
which landed this bandit in a cell block sedated
payin 5 years of his life to live where hell occupated
now had bigger problems, far as death was concerned
but maybe this troubled teen had some lessons to learn
he then stopped a woman in a convertible wit some chrome rims
needin material things as she wasn't comfortable in her own skin
he stripped her of these things, showin her life's true beauty
feelin good about herself without fitting in a size 2 loosely
finding out that being someone else just isnt her style
took a stand.. in front of the mirror and witnessed a smile
he couldn't question those who found answers in their liquor
but would continue to heal the hearts wit cancer in their liver
patients have the same things to fight for, no matter the disease
which most of us only come to know after we're deceased
he felt best to ask God.. with open arms if he'd lend a hand, bond
putting his foot forth, for all of those who needed a leg to stand on
even HE looked for evidence, all the way back to the pyramid days
but since we all vision God differently, he works in mysterious ways
he would accidently bump into the girl wit the low selfesteem
n drive off with "just married" on the back of a broke limousine
cuz material things are material, which can be replaced if needed
love's blind to the naked eye, only our sixth sense traits can see it
a couple years later, she would have heart complications
an old friend who he held close, made him a heart to heart obligation
he made her feel confident in life when the only thing hypothetical was livin
as she had been living with a very rare type of medical condition
she looked at him, held her chest and offered an organ
if they would take in and raise her daughter named Morgan
expressing how hard it was to agree when he'd see his theropist
cuz they always wanted a child... but had 3 miscarriages
now the boy that robbed that bank, came out wit a hateful revenge
wasnt able to rest.. cuz ever since he was in a cradle was stressed
as he walked down the street, he saw this man from 5 years ago
stuck a gun to his lungs, as this man of faith cried tears of hope
he sighed, cleared his throat.. n sent em to the pearly gates
but that's cuz God had a job for him bigger then the earth could face
the man wit the gun in his hand, would soon face this crime in trial
which showed his blind eyes the white light that led him to find the bible
cuz even though he didnt write the book.. he felt like he could
rewriting history as he took over the job of the man's life he took
the widowed wife told their little girl, cuz all teens get curious
if you remain clueless to blessings, they'll always seem mysterious
...
huma(N)ature
by Brandon Cee
Less is more.
This is worthless history - surface withering with mankind...
...and what's the purpose if our service is lost in a damned mind?
Tough to call, but we adore exploring disrupted scores
Cause humans can't accept that there's simply nothing more
See, death is just emptiness with no end to the scene
Cause life needs a second chance for it to question a dream
Sitting in cubicles with unusual schemes and designs
From school we get 9 to 5's...that's how regimes are refined
We LIE alone, but then we behave in the same degree
It's all for society; tax-payers claim that it's basically slavery
Not even expressing stress, but still expecting a blessing
While this road leads us to common misconception's of Heaven
It's nothing! truth just feels morbid and stark, and...
...the more it darkens, the more that the poison is sharpened
So we started praying to a truly, simple thought in the clouds
But then it's only on occasion when our problems allow
Knocking us down, the damage we hadn't needed to see...
...is now routine like nature when it's being serene
Right under your nose, it's where you never guessed it
And all at once these emotions found a place to be invested
Attention to this planet, we aren't changing the worth
Instead of praying to a savior, speak the language of Earth
Cause there's belief in the leaves, even the trees...
...and our faith is like the rain, bringing peace to the seas
See, there's warmth in the sun, calming in snowflakes
No pain inhibits freedom, it's a promise for "no hate"
There's ambitions in the stars, comprised to inspire...
...every fuel-injected person that desires this fire
While it's passion for the heat, find grace in the moon...
...cause if there's shelter on the way you're escaping your doom
Friendship is always grounded with roots that defy
Every single little pleasure that exudes from the LIES
---------------------------
I told you everything is one, I can cope when I sin
And truth be told? my hope floats upon an ocean of winds
Last edited by Brandon Cee; September 7th, 2011 at 01:57 AM
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
vote up folks.
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
Gwap - Nice piece here, I was definitely feeling the story telling and the transitions throughout the piece. I thought your rhyme scheme was as good as usually deliver it and content was good. There was a lot of metaphors that I really liked the way you used them. Well, there's wasn't really much more that I really wanted to see that your verse didn't have. Overall, I thought it was a good verse.
Brandon - Good stuff here, not as dope as I've seen from you before but this was still pretty nce. I really liked most the stuff in here, rhyme scheme and content for one was good. The concept and approach was cool too. All in all, this was an enjoyable read and a very well written piece.
I think both verses were very similar and it was really close. But in the end, I was more impacted from Brandon's verse than Gwap's.
v/ Brandon
honestly....my votes goes to gwap on this one....
i think his had a very original approach to it...
he made a story that broke into different portions and bled back together in the end...definitely a great read...u of course had some stretched lines, but i never expect a piece to be entirely perfect...i appreciate the creativity, no really advanced wordplay or deep logic....but a well put together meaning behind the drop....
brandon...you had a nice piece, loved the flow, wordplay was good...
concept was nice and was consistent all the way through...a good perspective on mankind and the faults and what should be improved, executed nicely....
all n all i just felt gwaps was more appealing and drawing in...so my vote go to gwap
Vote = gwap
good battle guys...
The Birth Of Creation
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Storyteller | Cr@$h | JMS | Meth | Celph Taut | Messiah | Bstill | Fatal
Gwaptanemo Bay: This was a great piece, very good concept, very well executed. Nice story telling here, the imagery was quite vivid and it was very detail oriented. Strong enjoyable multis at the end of every line, some multi-internals in select spots to make a nice flow. So rhyme scheme pretty good, but I'd like to see some more internals used. Good emotion in this story, it had a strong presence, very well written, my biggest complaint would be, I'd like to see greater vocabulary usage, seems pretty simple, basic word choices.
Brenda Cee: Another great piece of writing here, though it's obvious you rushed the hell out of this, far from your best. Great vocabulary usage and rhyme scheme with multis and internals. The story telling lacks in comparison to Gwap's and the concept is on par. Good imagery and detailing, good flow to boot. Nicely written.
Vote: For what I perceived as better writing,
Brenda Cee
Gwap, consider the hate vote returned.
Last edited by trajik; September 7th, 2011 at 08:58 AM
infektedpenz
Both of these pieces were shitty as fuck...I mean they really stank something bad!
Gwapping came with his shit full of some great storytelling, A little on the simple side but I felt that you did that to keep the story constipated within the imagery which gave a great balance overall. Even Mr. Vocab can appreciate good shit which you delivered....Shitty muthafucka!
Brandioggio has some nice shit to that left a cool stain even though I thought you were lacking the usual meat of dopeness you drop in your shit. And I see you were on some reporting shit too almost like some ghetto shitty manifesto. But it definitely could have been more if you had added flairs to the report and the introspection clearer.he would accidently bump into the girl wit the low selfesteem
n drive off with "just married" on the back of a broke limousine
cuz material things are material, which can be replaced if needed
love's blind to the naked eye, only our sixth sense traits can see it
I like this shit here
So for the one who diarhettic flow hit the water hardest:We LIE alone, but then we behave in the same degree
It's all for society; tax-payers claim that it's basically slavery
Not even expressing stress, but still expecting a blessing
While this road leads us to common misconception's of Heaven
It's nothing! truth just feels morbid and stark, and...
...the more it darkens, the more that the poison is sharpened
So we started praying to a truly, simple thought in the clouds
But then it's only on occasion when our problems allow
Knocking us down, the damage we hadn't needed to see...
...is now routine like nature when it's being serene
[b]This was a good shit that related to the shit that I'm dealing with...
Gwap ol' lay
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Best Topical Writer: 143
2-2....tie game.... :-)
The Birth Of Creation
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Storyteller | Cr@$h | JMS | Meth | Celph Taut | Messiah | Bstill | Fatal
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