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Thread: The Blind Beggar

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title! warsaw deluxe's Avatar
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    The Blind Beggar

    Posted this in a very inactive league and have been strgguling to get some feedback. Feel free to drop me a couple lines and tell me what you think.



    The Blind Beggar

    Immersed in uncertainty in this turn to modernity
    Where cash rules all things, morals affirmed in absurdity
    By a merchant fraternity that's emerged from obscurity
    To trample beggars' hearts that will burn for eternity
    Whose dirth and whose yearning means enduring lying further
    From open mouths from which erupt their defiant fervor
    And the facts that are spoken are all fractured and broken
    Firmly backed with devotion protecting capitalist notions
    These such vacuous moments assuage the secretive urge
    To have the pieces unearthed...
    Of how greed can emerge from its treasonous birth
    So we concede to its curse, becoming our redundant ontology
    Caught in the fun and frivolity of love and insolvency
    With no lust for equality, we offer blunted apologies
    For our truculent qualities cuz abundance is all we see
    But its not for prosperity or the thought of posterity
    Just the me-first knee jerk and its lawless severity
    Always profiting carelessly at the cost of disparity
    As the hospice of clarity gets lost in the air we breathe
    Always haunted by scarcity, the truth can help with nothing
    As we're soothed by hell's seduction in pursuit of self-destruction
    Yet I've proved myself reluctant, so I hold this cup on my knees
    That you might fill it with riches so I may sup on it please

  2. #2
    ::..VOCABULUS..:: 143's Avatar
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    Re: The Blind Beggar

    I feel where you coming from with this drop. The vocab is off the charts (and they call me Mr. Vocab) but as I had to learn, you have to scale back some when you have that urge to drop something intense as that. For us vocab writers many do not see the art within the complexity of the words and placement therefore many will not see the artistic value being that the words used are not that of a common conversations. As a tips throw a line in there to act as a dummy checker for those who may get lost in the vocab to still stay on point as far as the topic and imagery goes. Good job also get those links up so they don't close this.


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