Enter The Wood

[Alphaeus]

Enter The Wood
by stock


Which way do I go, sure nobody knows
I hold a leather bag, filled with lost hopes
Now I stand in front of this narrow scope
Scared to put a foot forward, in case I cannot cope
Old oak tree throw me a rope, just speak to me;
Echo sweet bliss from the eroded bricks, hear my plea
Mind running free, and I am still fastened to the spot
Child I once was as now grown up, as she forgot?
Summer beneath the willow, where we would go to dance
The magical ancient valleys, much better at first glance
Summer in the forest, with tribes we would dance
Hand in hand, we would sing until our chests collapsed
"Hey Mr, what’s the paint on your face – can I have that?"
I became a warrior in ancient times, I learned tribal rhyme -
How to move in darkest of light in order to survive night
In the forest we would always go to dance –
The magical ancient valleys, so much better at first glance

I would then venture home,
My family would never believe what I’d said
They would blame it on my age, TV or the books I read
Still to this very day, when I pass that little spot
I ask the Indians and magical men, out to play
This little girl never forgot.

It’s hard to forget, the beautiful times
When all is so perfect that it feels like it’s a crime
I am so amazed my heartbeat fall’s a skip behind
I would spend hours trying to find –
The dragon’s den, I followed the path, right up until it ends
Magic lights guide me right to the door of their den
I open it up and unnerved I go and walk straight in
I see a dragon just sitting and staring, up to the sky
Just it and me alone and yes, dragons-fly!
The magic of the woods has not lost its appeal,
So many brilliant fairytales, so cleverly concealed
Ancient valleys, mapped out all in demand
Every girl’s dream is to learn how to dance.

I would then venture home,
My family would never believe what I’d said
They would blame it on my age, TV or the books I read
Still to this very day, when I pass that little spot
I ask the Indians and magical men, out to play
This little girl never forgot.

The magic is forever in a child’s heart
And the dragons still fly and the Indians still dance
So I say to you, enter the wood and take a chance

[Alphaeus]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ke-385055.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...le-383864.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ll-385255.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...re-385082.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ud-385248.html

[Uben. Pwnd]

Ah, Stock it's good to see you post in Open Mic again.
I'd like to point out that the image you chose for this, was a very good choice indeed.
I like how you broke the image down, and used it to give you insight on how you were going to write to it. Describing with detail and using strong and vivid vocabulary within this piece.

Old oak tree throw me a rope, just speak to me;
Echo sweet bliss from the eroded bricks, hear my plea

That was a very nice line from you. I loved the way you described the surrounding area she was at. The story you presented was strong, and brought back childhood memories I almost seemed to have forgotten. I love how you can take an image, and bring out a story filled with such emotion and imagery such as this piece. It was a change from what I'm used to seeing you write, but it was a good change and I'm glad you showed me this before you posted. For it's just as good the first time I read it as it is now, the second time.

Goodjob Stock.

[Microphone fiend]

the pic goes very well with the drop
much depth, presented it strong, didnt fall off subject, ended it with suspense and curiosity this was very good impressing material...much respect

[Alphaeus]

Thanks fiend.

And Uben I did exactly as you said. I was browsing the net and came across this image and upon seeing it, I automatically thought of a story.
Glad you enjoyed my piece brother.
As I said in the PM and as you also said in your post, it is different from what I would usually write, quite a cheerful piece lol.
Thanks a lot for the feedback my friend, it will be returned.

[Uben. Pwnd]

That reminds me...check your Inbox in about....

oh 2 minutes.

[Dekken]

u did a nice job on this, the pic gave me the achient feel to, i like how you kinda did like the boy who cried wolf here, how if you told your family what you seen they wouldent beleve you, my fav line here is

It’s hard to forget, the beautiful times
When all is so perfect that it feels like it’s a crime,

I thought that was a really nice and descriptive line, couse its true,
The pic was a nice one for you, and u added alot more to it with the magic and the dragons, this was a really nice drop, keep it up stock...

[AlphaMetric]

this shit insane and to my opinion, it's my favority piece i've read up to now on RB.... this imagery was unbeleivable, with such strong emotions and shit, vocab was on point everywhere and such nice wording stock... this piece was really motivating and gets the creativity flowing i find and breath taking, so original.. i'm gonna quote some lines....

Which way do I go, sure nobody knows
I hold a leather bag, filled with lost hopes
Now I stand in front of this narrow scope
Scared to put a foot forward, in case I cannot cope
Old oak tree throw me a rope, just speak to me;
Echo sweet bliss from the eroded bricks, hear my plea
Mind running free, and I am still fastened to the spot
Child I once was as now grown up, as she forgot?

loved how you opened this out... how he was sad with no hope and the narrow scope really added alot of imagery... echo sweet bliss line was dope and a plea to take away his sadness, and hopelessness and forget those times and become a child again... dope shit


well anyways, if i get time, ill edit some more feed, this was dope, gonna go nom it

[Alphaeus]

Thanks a lot Kila, I'm glad you enjoyed it

[Agony.]

It’s hard to forget, the beautiful times
When all is so perfect that it feels like it’s a crime
I am so amazed my heartbeat fall’s a skip behind
I would spend hours trying to find –
The dragon’s den, I followed the path, right up until it ends
Magic lights guide me right to the door of their den

Whoa dope bars bro. imagery once again was nice. It all flowed very well and ienjoyed reading this. Keep dropin..Overall ncie peiece i hope to see more.

[Bstill]

DAMN Stock
bring the moment of silence when i got finished reading this piece i loved the way you approached this topic didn't know what to expect from you from your past Om's but im glad i stepped inside to read it fam. Ok about the piece your imagery transitioned and got deeper and made a great focal stance for this drop you took the emotion to another level here also stock you portrayed an really deep concept as you went along with this drop.

Favorite lines

I am so amazed my heartbeat fall’s a skip behind
I would spend hours trying to find –
The dragon’s den, I followed the path, right up until it ends
Magic lights guide me right to the door of their den
I open it up and unnerved I go and walk straight in
I see a dragon just sitting and staring, up to the sky
Just it and me alone and yes, dragons-fly!

This small stanza was really straight forward stock and i had to stop and read it again just for the fact that anyone could relate to this right here. the last two lines made me think fam had me wondering that' it was just as simple but so complexed at the same time dope drop fam

[Alphaeus]

Thanks Bilayer, means a lot brother

[Endi]

I was liking this for the most part. The emotion and imagry were 100% on point. But, the flow just kind of dragged, IMO. It was smoothe enough for me to enjoy this, but I would have like more than just one cyllable rhymes. I like your style, it has a very poetic and natural feel, just brush up the flow. You got the potential man, hit me up for a collabo.

[Alphaeus]

Thanks Endi and i'll get at you in a few days about a collab

[Dan 'V]

This was real gud.
I’ve not seen you drop a topical verse for a while Stock
I’m very glad you decided to bring your writing back to open mic
This drop was so refreshing to read and it was quite an unusual subject matter
The picture added more emphasis to your drop and you used the picture to gain more depth
To the drop and take ideas to add to your writing.
Vocabulary and language was very nice and suited the verse and the way you where taking it
Real gud to see you back in the open mic section again, we’ll have to battle or do a collaboration.
Talk to you soon Stock