Lady Sings the Blues

[abiona]

Lady swayed on stage
long fingers cradling mic
as if it were
her lovers face
whispering mournful melodies
that filled the place
with the weight of her sadness

Patrons watched through whiskey glasses
twice filled and cocked back
to soften the sounds of her blows
as the
sloooooow mooooooan of the
saxophone
stirred up stories
from deep within the bowels
of their souls.

Lady sang the blues
in a white dress bathed in darkness
fillin’ up her emptiness
with whole notes
to tell the whole world
she ain’t gon’ die ‘cuz she loved him*

badooom boom bip

drumsticks slip and flip her
rhythm backwards, transfixed by
memories of how his melodies
used to hang soft ‘round her hips

but the brass played on
fief being paid with passions
echoes of crescendos
rising from
deep within her belly
spillin songs from lips
of sex, success, upsets
regrets, faults, and failures

she became music
held prisoner, and he was the jailor
her beauty,
chained by his madness
blastin’ like a horn
but now
the brass wings
and its winds
are liftin' her

feet dancing out the rhythm
Bags on the drums, strugglin
to keep up
Slim slidin fingers over strings and
Wese on keys
pluckin, pullin and pushin her
tears streaming down cheeks
erupting in ablution

Lady becomes reborn as song
blue notes turned red like fire
burning herself up to rebirth
a new soul from her ashes
while the crowd watches
bathed in sweat from the
heat her heart is hurlin’
beatin out the syncopations
of her
purification ritual

Singin’ like this song
On this night
Iz just the beginning.





response to a piece written by a friend called Jimmy's Blues
italicized lines are from the inspiration piece by tre
*loosely from 'lady sings the blues' by billie holiday


links...
The Icarus Effect
Mr. Nervous[SOUNDCLICK][/SOUNDCLICK]

[Alphaeus]

This was nice and enjoyable read abiona
I like it when people write about a certain piece of music or an artist that may inspire them. One thing I always notice about you is your amazing description and the vivid detail you put into your writing, it almost seems effortless to you.
You did it again in the second stanza when you talked of the whiskey in the glass and the lady up on stage performing, really great stuff.
I liked the topic and everything that went with it, cant fault.

[Spoken]

This was really a nice read that i couldrelate to and i loved the emotion used all over this piece... the time and effort you put in this is recognized cause you worked hard to get this across the reader... and i felt that this poem here was developed nicely and written well with great emotion in it. i love the way you come about things and tell the story it is always packed with versatility and emotion. i am a sucker for emotion as always. the story itself was original in a way and unique of how it was done already... nice shit Ma stay up and i loved it.

[Ntalek]

Damn it..this was dope..I always enjoyed you're approach toward wording...you really have a nack for placement....and creating the best image possible in the readers mind with your wording..and the descriptive choices you chose always seem to be the exact fit..for where you're going with the piece..I like how you kinda kept certain parts going on and made it read as if a spoken word type piece like that slow moan part...ad that badom boom bip...that shit really added that effect on it..while reading I could hear what was going on and actually put myself in that sort of environment..i thought the watching through whiskey glass part was dope as well..i thougtht you brought/displayed the emotion on a more subtle tone in this piece which really worked well with the message you were trying to convey...all in all this was a great drop..and if it hasn't been nom'd it's about to be...thx for the read..

[Ebolorama]

This was very nice and I enjoyed the read so much. I feel that this had a great deal of emotion. It was weaved in with every possible part of this. The imagery was really nice and it just pulled me in. I really liked what you did here. WE should collab some time

[Key™]

wow, emotions was felt, imagery i couldnt written better honestly
this piece deserves the credit it gets honestly. ur great writter..

[Prince Escobar]

I was pleasantly surprised by the descriptiveness of this piece, the way you illustrated the woman in the piece and really made her every motion come to life was strong. In terms of the intangibles I think you hit them all with this poem, overall it was really good. As far as technical points there was a spelling error I noticed but all in all I think that'll come to you as you write more. I particularly liked this stanza
"drumsticks slip and flip her
rhythm backwards, transfixed by
memories of how his melodies
used to hang soft ‘round her hips"
the way that read was beautiful, really descriptive like I said so there's good imagery but also the way it rhymed makes it seem to match the pace of a woman swaying and singing the blues. Nice job, I hope to see mroe from you in the future.

[abiona]

thanks, esco. i haaaate misspelling words. fixed the error... everything else was spelled purposefully.

and ebo... ha... i suck at collabs. ask cry. i'll drive you crazy. perhaps once i get back to writing regularly we can come up with something.

[Chappy]

Fucking amazing I thought - enjoyed reading it all the way through and I can't think of anything to say that could make it any better.

My favourite parts of the poem were these:

Lady swayed on stage
long fingers cradling mic
as if it were
her lovers face
whispering mournful melodies
that filled the place
with the weight of her sadness

Patrons watched through whiskey glasses
twice filled and cocked back
to soften the sounds of her blows
as the
sloooooow mooooooan of the
saxophone
stirred up stories
from deep within the bowels
of their souls.

Quality - keep doin' what you're doin', and thanks again for the feed.