Dark Garden

[lostinlove]

I don't even know what inspired this but eh it's a fantasy type poem.

So there I am on my knees in a garden of blacks, reds and dark blues,
My pale white skin standing out in the garden around me,
From the shadows two golden, glowing eyes are watching me intently,
My eyes remain unblinking as I stare back,
My body tenses expecting it to attack,
Then I feel the soft fur against my skin.
The panther starts to pur and asks, non-verbally for a belly rub,
The panther looks like a dangerous dog but purrs like a harmless kitten, I can’t help but chuckle.
From above my orange hair and pink dress stand out against this panther and these black, red and blue roses around me.
When I look up a figure emerges, dressed in all black, almost as if he was the Grim Reaper,
He speaks to me his voice soft and words firm, his eyes are glued to me like a creeper.
As if its just he and I alone in this world,
He lifts me up without a sound and holds me tight,
Where I had been kneeling the black roses were now white,
Everywhere we went the flowers morphed colors,
In this dark garden it's just him and me.
All that remains the same were the shadows, corners and the panther,
Sometimes something black can be more beautiful than a red rose.
But nothing is more beautiful than love.
Feeds;
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...html?p=8086809
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...html?p=8086821

[unadored]

Thought this was a bit drawn out to be honest, and it's not what you would call a long piece. It was descriptive but only touched on the subject and hand, I thought you could have elevated this to where it needed to be.
The description of the panther was ok but the surroundings and environment needs work to be detailed imagery.

[lostinlove]

Thanks I'll work on it soon

[N.F.M.]

Nice work babe... I dont know exactly what I'm supposed to say, really. I'm not much good at poetry, and wouldn't know a good poem from a bad poem any way. But I liked it, and I love you, so I give this peice 2 thumbs up. <3

[Dor_tos]

Perfect. Its you and that’s all that matters. See that’s the thing with poetry, it’s complex and deep, sometimes too deep or too shallow. all it matters is that it expresses you. No one has to understand it except you, sister love you

[lostinlove]

Love ya too sis.

And thankyou Wes, it's mostly about you.

[PyroMania]

i think it was deep. a enjoyable read.you plotted this perfect. stay up