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Thread: 'Words & Voices' by Written Voices

  1. #1
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    'Words & Voices' by Written Voices


    In order: Kaotic Theory, Storyteller, Jukon, Jon

    Inside this hollow dome
    exists a fragile foundation
    releasing the occasional scream
    following any sudden movement
    that threatened happy thought's.
    Visualizing appearances
    of the author's who created
    the memories that tarnish my soul
    as they're words stand on the front porch
    while the voices knock at the door
    ....to my heart.
    Pop-up blocker installed, system
    fire walled with few exception's
    the audio I wish to inhale
    hugging them deep in possession
    while I bleed through my ears
    swallowing depression.

    Silver cap lining;
    Shooting star appeal
    Wishes don't exist unless
    Fed nothing but hardship.
    Tip toe melodies with each step
    Broken; disfigure to be one-
    The origin of self mistakes.
    Thousand blood swords
    Inject it's fuel to my brain,
    Firing on all cylinders; cranium hope
    Gasping for just existence
    Laying lifeless on record pins,
    Round in circles we begin-
    The cycle if sin that indulges sanctity.
    Truth to ones ears,
    Eyes touch and though; rotting
    Away and caravan dreams.
    -slowly wave goodbye

    Stuck on the broken path I own,
    I follow the footsteps
    of the ones that lead me.
    pleading; take me away
    from the voices that taunt me.
    the words that haunt and scar
    I'm covered with wounds
    from the sticks and stones that
    didn't get a chance to break
    my bones.
    just a fractured thought,
    an incomplete piece,
    never finished so I
    continue to pace down the road
    but I took the wrong turn.
    I should've went left,
    and now nothing is right.
    I keep giving up on this fight,
    the moment that changed,
    the light turned green,
    and my foot kissed the pedal.

    I made love once &
    shattered glass in the form of beats,
    pulsing from a dead heart.
    Pumping thoughts through the main-vein
    stemming my brain away from this insane pain.
    But it stays safe, this combination
    of words & accents too strong for
    comforters... Too cold without them,
    warm hands grasp a meaning; greater
    under-stood by the underclass-men.
    Mute souls continue the inspiration
    providing a foundation in writtens;
    remaining the voice of a nation...
    Last edited by Jon; July 14th, 2011 at 09:29 AM
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  2. #2
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Re: 'Words & Voices' by Written Voices

    upppin...
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  3. #3
    Halleluja Soul Slayer's Avatar
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    Re: 'Words & Voices' by Written Voices


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    Scytsophrenia

    On that next level.. but STILL fuckin' crazy.


    [soundclick]7321513[/soundclick]

  4. #4
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Re: 'Words & Voices' by Written Voices

    Thats a shame.
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  5. #5
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Re: 'Words & Voices' by Written Voices

    I'd love some feed, I hit the link btw Soul.
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  6. #6
    Newbie Deflected Notes's Avatar
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    Re: 'Words & Voices' by Written Voices

    You have way too many poems of the front page mate.

    I liked the approach you took in opening this one up. Acknowledging the works of other expressionists that laid the mat form for you to fall in love with the arts. The language was appropriate and made a lot of sense. There was a nice balance between the transition of lines and ideas.

    Silver cap lining;
    Shooting star appeal
    Wishes don't exist unless
    Fed nothing but hardship
    QA nice way to follow up on the stanza prior to this. You showed a deep understanding of mechanics as well as emotion here. The rest of it was equally smart and even though the wording did jump at me in places like
    Firing on all cylinders; cranium hope
    Gasping for just existence
    the stanza was still a colorful and authentic way of portraying the influence of society on a growing mind which is always more likely to be influenced than someone with rooted belief.

    Then Kon came with more wits to this and a nice word play for his stanza reflecting on wrong choices taken and the due to misconception. The way you wrote this was really inspiring. Kudos for that.
    Then you closed off in a wholesome way tying all the ideas down and making this a complete piece with shades of abstract. This type of piece came off as unique solely because of your different characters coming together on this.

    Nice read gentlemen...... I have a piece: Sowing Seeds. Pleas RFT.
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...310/index.html
    Last edited by Deflected Notes; July 21st, 2011 at 03:56 AM

  7. #7
    Halleluja Soul Slayer's Avatar
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    Re: 'Words & Voices' by Written Voices

    as promised Jon, there goes my rft above ^. Time so take over this PS forum again gentlemen... Got a proposal Jon....

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    Scytsophrenia

    On that next level.. but STILL fuckin' crazy.


    [soundclick]7321513[/soundclick]

  8. #8
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Re: 'Words & Voices' by Written Voices

    .. ? Huh
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  9. #9
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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    Re: 'Words & Voices' by Written Voices

    upping for more feedback please.
    AI

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  10. #10
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    Re: 'Words & Voices' by Written Voices

    I had to reread the section that starts out with following footsteps and ends with pushing down the pedal. I thought you were walking and then couldn't understand you were driving while following footsteps.

    I love the start. Keep on it.

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