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Thread: Some Days

  1. #1
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    Some Days

    Some Days it gets ridiculous;
    they're overcast as it comes,
    discarding friends like they're deciduous,
    determined to outlast the ones,
    who are avid at being frivolous,
    philosophizing past the sun,
    and laughing while seeing into us,
    it's sin to us; theres noone
    who prepares nuns for immaculate conception,
    it's ejaculate perception...
    you're still laughing at the question.

    Some Days I try to understand,
    the eagerness of immaturity,
    and I ask "Why?" to blunder man,
    seeking this to win the purity,
    of your smile with all it's span,
    it's sheen fills me with surity,
    but should i sit in front or stand?
    I'd obscure the view, shift certainty,
    lift hurting me; the only one that can
    tell me how I feel, spinning on movie reels,
    presented in gold plating...
    because you clicked your ruby heels.

    Some Days my wrists begin to throb,
    with quickened liquid running through,
    and it persists to do it's job
    to romove the sickened one in you.
    ensure your thoughts cannot be robbed,
    by masked bandits; trouble brews,
    churning up my butter-thick sobs,
    quick lobs?
    change up knows not what to do.
    What's shut to truth?
    it made me vomit up my heart
    the ending tops the chart...
    but music promised me a real fine way to start.

    Some Days the sound is supersonic,
    the ring piercing my ear.
    depcition of addiction becoming chronic,
    or a chronological form of fear,
    the screams begin to feel harmonic,
    where the raining fire sears,
    so I venture to steal whats honest,
    confiscate it from these liars here.
    I seize Sire's mirror, it can read backwards
    perceiving right to left...
    you left wrong for the slackers.

    Some Days I try too hard to be myself,
    so much I don't do what I ought to.
    stabbing shards attempt to steal my health,
    the silver bullet was true when it shot you.
    No rotation on the spinning wheel of wealth,
    circulation? meaningless when God forgot you.
    and the world collapses, lacking stealth,
    there was no preventing the rot through.
    it's not true, they lost you in the tidal wave,
    my sight you'll crave...
    when you're fighting as an idle brave.

    Some Days I wear my heart on my shirt sleeve
    and peace of mind leaves out the window.
    sometimes I realise that it hurts to breath
    but the pain cannot really win, though
    and revealing my life helps me to conceive
    where I'm going, but not where I've been so
    I stay in this place, so proufoundly naive
    the Bible never said ignorance was sinful
    it's akin though, and it cannot be denied
    "I Love You Too" is all you replied.

    Some Days the day will fly right by,
    and I hardly feel guilty at all.
    It's not that I forget to cry,
    I simply just built me a wall.
    The bricks are strong, and don't ask "Why?"
    you never remember to call.
    get out of there..don't bask, fly!
    as long as you can, before your downfall
    I tried to drown all,
    but my sorrows weren't deep
    I often dream of you,
    but never in my sleep.

    Some Days the door slams on my head
    and I wake up quick fast
    don't drink the coffee! Smell it instead
    the taste will never last
    Artificial Joy is expensive when read
    taking it's toll from your recent past.
    dig the knife a little deeper,
    then spread
    your emotions on a toasted pane of glass.
    Insane at last! The handstamp is incorrect!
    we came to grips with the fact
    that we didn't have the wire to connect

    Some Days I am at peace with mind
    and everything goes quiet
    within this tranquility I find
    a disturbing lack of ghost riots
    and what you take as diseasing signs
    hold messages, glorious inside it
    when Satan is done with leasing minds
    you'll have someone to coinside with
    and to confide wits,
    to an existence that's spattered
    Did you know,
    neither of us really matter?

    Some Days
    I wear not a sheild
    Some Days
    I'm filled with rage
    Some Days
    I'm in an open field
    Some Days
    I'm locked in a cage
    Some Days
    I'm in love with me
    Some Days
    you take my place
    Some Days
    I want you to see
    Some Days
    you're just a friendly face
    Some Days
    there is no burden of tomorrow
    Some Days
    I am overcome by your sorrow...


    ...why can't you be happy?

    Love,
    Your friend on a rainy day
    Last edited by Maven.; February 23rd, 2004 at 08:30 PM
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  2. #2
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    when I saw that this had no replies and no views, i thought to myself "wouldn't it be cool to have a piece that noone read?! Nobody?" and then I realised that it wouldn't.
    you bastards.
    =)
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  3. #3
    ^Will that really be cool?, you kept this very simple,which I like,you had very good imagery,which I also like,that's about it,nothing special.

    I Haven't Been Nowhere..But..Can You See Where I'm Coming from...

  4. #4
    ... Chrit.'s Avatar
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    Awards Cypher Winner - Award Request Accepted LLL HOF OM HOF SS HW Champion LLL Champion 1-2 Season Champion 1-2 Punch HW Champion FL Champion 100+ Wins ABL Champion
    Damnit....
    Maven is dope period.

    Usually I have the structure you used at the end.... but you pulled it off....

    Damn you to hell for making me look like a complete shmuck at writing
    AI

  5. #5
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    up.
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  6. #6
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    *sigh*
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  7. #7
    ...practice makes poetry
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    K ill give you some feedback but peep my latest: Sniff n Spliff by Magnificent

    This was pretty tight all around... dug your content rich flow... structure was a little shifty though, switched from abab to aabb at random... not that it really matters as long as it doesn't damage the flow... which it relly didn't... im glad you didn't burden this with too much vocab, simplicity speaks volumes...

    keep em comin, i dig most your stuff
    Hence Forward

  8. #8
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    Hi Maven...you already know what I'm going to say..so I'll shorten it out for you...You have a great writers voice...which is very rare to find in this place...(I'm a net`thug,I'll kill you~foo~~Blah~Blah~ <-that's most of'em) anyway...you are the future...you & Koalatee...~Click~Click~sig

  9. #9
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    giiiiirrrrrrrrrrlllllllll its easy to love me now....=/
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  10. #10
    Free, As A Bird
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    How The Fuck were you able to pull that 1 off..!?

    I liked it so much..

    Its so diffirent to what were used to here...Better that your able to make it work though...

    Im affraid i didnt catch the point of it, since i was captured by the structure...

    I liked it...(Hey, All you noobs...Look at how Ill he is - and hes a Rocker)

    *Applauds*



    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=116064

    U know what i want Maven... =D
    ArcBiggEZ

    Heavyweight Penis Crew

  11. #11
    undone Bruklor's Avatar
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    Spectacular.

    I really don't have any advice cause you already are quite beyond excellent...

    Though, I personally don't like multi's. But, that's just me. I feel it's too, based on flow, instead of the actually point you're trying to convey. But again, that's just me.

    Maven should get more replies!!!
    m
    ˈpɛr ˈse


    –noun

    by, of, for, or in itself; intrinsically.

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