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Thread: Rebuilding

  1. #1
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
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    Rebuilding

    ..My representation..is showing my endearing mask..
    ..Twas a reason for suitable correlations..spearing my past..
    ..Started out..two twigs standing high above the grass..
    ..Placed there by man..no further questions were to be asked..
    ..They dwarfed in comparison to the size of the trees..
    ..But yet they stood high and proud above blades & dead leaves..
    ..And be it that these two twigs..were a sight to see themselves..
    ..Caused many to dwele..focusing on how they lived in ease..
    ..As always some were envious..of the twigs spotlight..
    ..They decided to attack..on the oceans first light..
    ..In was a morning in September..the ninth to be exact..
    ..Two crows crashed into the twigs..making an accident out of an act..
    ..It took time to realize..just what was going on..
    ..But as soon as the land realized..their revenge was flowing strong..
    ..They attacked the attackers..caused them to retreat..
    ..But it affected many..creating caution in defeat..
    ..The lands monument was gone..it was a hard fact to cope..
    ..There was an utter lack of hope..no place to tack a joke..
    ..A beautiful land like this..was no place to just annull & quit ..
    ..So they got back on their feet..in chase of this devious culprit..
    ..And they got united..grass blades, dead leaves & all..
    ..To rebuild a unity that was broken..no place for another stall..
    ..This would bring back the one belief..we as a nation can't & won't fall..
    ..And to this day I pray we remain to stand tall..
    WordPerfect

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    Tsar....You continue to improve on this Open Mics...your last piece on the collab was outstanding...this here was also a very nice piece...I think you get overlooked...maybe it's because your sense of humor<-some may not take you seriously(Which is very fuc*ed up,since you have the talent)...anywho..keep this up..you'll be in the Legends soon... .......

  4. #4
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
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    I wuv yoo!!
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  5. #5
    . Illus''s Avatar
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    Casm:

    This piece was very deep and iLL you should drop more pieces.
    This is no question about it about 9/11.
    Which brings back memories for me.
    Great metaphor and great wording and flow.
    Very nice structure as well.
    No critique and your whole peace is a quotable.
    From beginning to end nice peace.

    Stay droping.

  6. #6
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
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    thanks!
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  7. #7
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
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    i press up
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  8. #8
    .Super-Human.
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    This Was Dope

    You Had Nice Flow, I Felt This Piece The Whole Way, You Had Some Deep Thoughts, Your Wordplay was Nice, I Liked The September Ninth Line, That Was Dope, Your Structure Was Nice, I Liked This Piece Alot = 8.5 Or 9/10

    Stay Droppin, Hit My Sig Up

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  9. #9
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
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    cha cha cha cha cea!
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  10. #10
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
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    upalod
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