i think as i type; words

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Thread: i think as i type; words

  1. #1
    and the tai kwon monks ! Methane's Avatar
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    i think as i type; words

    As the sunset drops, introducin the night sky
    and dusk met dawn in a union of light, I
    brushed the fog so the dew would just slide by
    the view of my wide open eyes

    That one was lost, consumed and quite blind
    to love and loss, truth and the bright side
    but nothin's gone, I'm renewed, my life's right
    I chose to fight, hope, and die...

    I stay in the rays and shades of gray
    that graze my gaze everyday; to delay the daze
    I raise and face all the hate and replace with grace
    relate the page, relay brainwaves and pave the way
    The bay breeze be gustin past my cheeks
    and it makes me lust to be the last to breathe
    And trust I just love to live, relax and sieze
    the flow in the moments that matter, see..
    I'm pacin myself like the seasons, no reason
    I just like havin somethin next to nothin to believe in
    Trust in feelins to adjust the demons I see screamin
    when I'm stuck dreamin, to hell with sleepin
    Then the shutters open, I must be chosen to mutter omens
    I'm just exposin the surface of what I've known
    So let's begin again, let the vivid in
    Take a step back, view the life you live and then...
    raiders of the lost art
    W o r d P e r f e c t



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    the pound is stronger than the dollar, HOLLA !

  2. #2
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    You need to leave a link to ar reply that you left on another open mic or this gets closed, Thanks.

  3. #3
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    hrmm, still trying to figure out what your saying here, read it through, the image I get in my head is kinda like that corona commercial, on the beach, but your sitting there, in some b boy pants, lookin like eminem, and like 19 supermodels running around scantily clad worshipping your lyrical finesse. And bizarre is dancing half naked around there somewhere lol... J/k... good drop, was kinda hard to figure out the true topic, seemed kinda like a straight spit to me, had to get some rhymes outta your head or something. but it came off well, weather kept poppin into my head while reading this, did that have anything to do with your reasons for writing this piece??? anyways, flow, had those consistant same-rhyme multi's... sounds really good in audio, but can kinda throw off the reader in text, but B for production, A for effort there, Vocab, illness. Topic... Dunno, you tell me... and overall, Good read, keep up.

  4. #4
    and the tai kwon monks ! Methane's Avatar
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    reply to open mic

    sorry credz


    @ split - i just wrote this on the spot now.
    raiders of the lost art
    W o r d P e r f e c t



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    the pound is stronger than the dollar, HOLLA !

  5. #5
    Two Steppin Clint Walkin's Avatar
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    Nice piece. I got a sorta self-empowering vibe with the symbols to keep moving on. The last verse made it come together nicely. The first one was rather vague. The second I'm guessing a hook-type verse the way it was set-up to feed off of each other. Overall nice read.
    DiViNe MaNiFeStAtIoNs

  6. #6
    and the tai kwon monks ! Methane's Avatar
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    thanks for the feedback
    raiders of the lost art
    W o r d P e r f e c t



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    the pound is stronger than the dollar, HOLLA !

  7. #7
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    that was nice. I like the flow and you did a good job with imagery keep it up.
    I Control My Own Destiny.


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  8. #8
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    Lightbulb

    I'm pacin myself like the seasons, no reason
    I just like havin somethin next to nothin to believe in
    Rhyme & flow-saturated, it was; surprising after your recent showings. . My favourite line was quoted - I can relate.

  9. #9
    Newbie Bherserk's Avatar
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    return the favor @ furious Anger
    I Control My Own Destiny.


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  10. #10
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    this was dope.... i loved the multis and rhyme scheme you put into this. Dope flow, you confuse me in alot of your writing but your meanings are starting to come through. Your dope man and very underrated. keep truckin'
    hit mine up if ya can
    Scytsophrenia

  11. #11
    and the tai kwon monks ! Methane's Avatar
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    cheers my peers.

    i`ll peep it shortly
    raiders of the lost art
    W o r d P e r f e c t



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    the pound is stronger than the dollar, HOLLA !

  12. #12
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    Re: i think as i type; words

    This is a beautiful drop. Full of deep emotions and meaning words.
    I feel connected to this verse because I can relate. What a good way express how feel.

  13. #13
    Jst wnt 2 B my best again A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: i think as i type; words

    I thought that was awesome and glad your life is so positive. I like that line about something to believe in and stuck dreaming.
    ~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..
    TSNF, TSNF, TSNL, TSNS, Thall shall not BeTrAy
    T R U S T ... is with your family

  14. #14

    Re: i think as i type; words

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  15. #15

    Re: i think as i type; words

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