I've Only Got 1

[FUBAR]

I have a life, it might suck more than anyone elses,
I have a wife, she's not the hotrod every man would want,
I have a job, God I hate that fuckin hellhole,
But, I come to realize, I only have 1.
I only have 1 life to take control of,
I only have 1 wife to love and take care of,
I only have 1 job that pays my bills,
I only have 1 life, so why not enjoy it?
I only have 1 chance, to make my debut,
I only have 1 goal, to make it through life,
I only have 1 chance, to end this ferocious strife,
Everyone goes through shit in their lives,
Its up to them wether or not if they want to do something,
It about determination to get that motivation,
And actually annihilate any thing that stands in your path,
Don't bother trying to play someone elses game,
'cause they'll only captivate your fame,
Like I said, I only have 1,
I only have 1 nation, that might not be the best,
But, I'll be damned if I'm gonna be detained from the rest,
Becuase I actually care for my country..........
I guess what I'm tryin to say is,
you might hate everything about your life,
But dammit, you only have 1, so take advantage of the oppritunity,
And enjoy your life, before it's too late.....

[FUBAR]

Here's the link


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=126248

[Neruda II]

I felt that this piece needed something, I'm still not quite sure what it is but when I think of it, then I'll tell you. It was an okay poem. The message is clear from the beginning.

Technical. It had low emotion, good ammount of inspiration, kinda up beat. The emotion wasn't too strong, nothing that made me go "damn" or whatever, but still decent enough to give the poem life. Structure, was off alot. It seemed to be written quick, like you were jotting down everything that came to mind. Every line was just like bam, bam, bam, nothing was choppy, the feeling flowed good through the structure. Vocabulary wasn't anything special, but it went well with the piece. I wish more inspirational vocabulary was used to really bring out the idea of the piece with greater drive. All and all, it was a good poem, except every aspect of it seemed to be brought down, it was even. Just my opinion, don't take it to seriously, I ain't no vet or got 1,000 posts....

[FUBAR]

well, you were right about me writing this piece as the words just came to my mind. I wrote this pretty quickly.....i just felt like tryin somthin new....

[lunatic]

he right I argee but good

[cubanito4lyfe]

I'v only got one comment, i hope tthis isnt wat u would call a POEM

[Neruda II]

It is a poem, an alright one too. Poems don't have rules, it's a form of creative writing to express yourself and your thoughts. Poetry is a verbal composition designed to convey experiences, ideas, or emotions in a vivid and imaginative way, characterized by the use of language chosen for its sound and suggestive power and by the use of literary techniques such as meter, metaphor, and rhyme. He did just that. So don't critisize kid, it's his poem not yours.

[Dirty Sanchez]

^word.....i hate it when ppl criticize shit and then people take it the wrong way. they want our feedback but then they start gettin all mad when its not a good thing that we say. every comment should be a compliment and a way to remember to improve ur poetry.

psshhh