Bitches

[Poetik Thug]

Bitches


yo, you give em ur heart, soul, and obsession/
only to get back betrayal, pain, and depression/
you wish she will give you her love forever/
but instead she takes razor and ur heart she decides to sever/
she wants you at home and not out actin like a heathen/
but everytime you come home her and her gurls seem to be leavin/
when shes going out you know shes lookin for the nigga on dubs/
but she told you all she wanted was your everlasting love/
it gets to the point where all you wanna do is fuck/
cuz shes just like all the rest of them, just a money hungry slut/


just bored so I spit a little verse

please give me feedback thanx!!!!!!

[HotWheelz209]

tight good vibe came from the heart do yo thing poetic


peace

[Endeva.]

wasnt keen on the scheme of writing... each bar was a seperate rhyme, i prefer smoother transitions, like carrying one of the rhymes thru to the next bar, to keep the fluidity... also your rhyming was basic, no internals, multis etc.... work on it

[Mistral]

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

[phatmasterflip]

what u trying to say in this drop

[Blood Drenched Tampon]

I didnt like it. Rhyme scheme was off & what not.

[REALISTIK]

yo it was aight cuzz........... from the heart thats what i like .......... if this actually a situation u in then i think you need a break her ass and shake her ass yoll............ but as for your rhymess .. there was nothing great in it ... no mutlis your were just spitting end line rymes ... try ryhming in the begining and end a each line and yoll find it to be much more doper

********************peace***********************

[Poetik Thug]

REALISTIK, f'sho thanks for the input I'll use all knowledge given to me!!!!!!!!!!

[Mistral]

Um...No Links.