Pain is easy till it ain't your own...

[Born To Kill]

I was born a piece of leather with a hard core...
Then slowly grew rock hard when I could deal no more.
Hard core turned to iron, alot like young Mike...
So any pain that came my way was forced to take a hike.
Blood spilled, people killed, jail, and fucking hate...
Not one sin ever broke my skin and still hasn't to this date.
Years subside and decades pass, my prime is now...
Bulletproof like I gotta kevlar ass, pain get to me...how?
2 years old, flesh and blood, my daughter, my life...
Spider bitten, infection kickin, lanced at the end of a knife.
One of four holding her, stupid hospital gowns...
My face to her face as doc brings the blade down.
Minutes become hours, tears form lakes of salty baby's cries...
And her whimpers turn to screams as she pleads with my eyes.
"Daddy...Daddy...Pleeeease!" She let's me know how bad it hurts...
And with each and every squeeze her blood sprays on daddy's shirt.
Fuckin doctors take forever, "My, she's really strong!"
And I'm like, "Whaddya expect, you've been torturing her so long!"
Finally it ends, but not before one last needle stab...
Injection of medicine that they just mixed in their lab.
Hit the car, hospital's rid, ac on but we don't leave...
Cuz this iron man's gotta hold his kid, needs some time to grieve.
Ain't cried in a motherfucker, ain't shed a tear in a bitch...
But there I was bawlin cuz my little girl got stitched.
My pain I can handle, yours I don't care about...
Heads can roll in Irag and blood can quell the desert drought.
All this shit means nothing, it rolls off me like rain...
Cuz tears never meant something till they came from my girl's pain.

Every beginning has it's end (diss)

Token's Reply (diss)

[Born To Kill]

28 views...

Not one fuckin reply?

Was this not gangsta enough for you?

If I'd dissed some crew, would you have liked it better?

Fuck ya'll...

[ILLunatic]

Hi buddy

This seem'd more of a poetry drop then an Open Mic
Due to the fact that I didn't notice a storyline or what not
But it was a nice piece. Flow was good. A few multies
Wordplay was consistant. And the message was pretty clear

2 years old, flesh and blood, my daughter, my life...
Spider bitten, infection kickin, lanced at the end of a knife.

That sorta had me scratchin me head a bit.. but eh
It was a nice drop overall... I juss saw it as poetic scripture type of shit
But it was nice....

Hit up my SS verse, posted up as an open mic for feedback (Fatal Decision)

[StraighAce]

yo i liked this drop it flowed good and you had structure down, you had some good wordplay and i saw some multies in there and i liked the topic/messsage
overall this was good drop

return the favor link in sig

[t-west]

I really liked this...why? it's so down to earth. This has hit me a few times in my life...I laugh at other peoples pain...but when it happens to me, dam...it hurts. Nice story-tellin' tho...

Overall...The piece was good, but not anything great. Nice drop tho...I like the meaning alot.

Return the favour plz:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=142933

[rule]

You read this to your daughter?

Anyways, I thought this was good, Ill's right though you should post it as well in P.S...get a lot more replies on this piece

It was a great drop, wordplay was good and the way you started it off really gripped me, really solid drop, emotion was good and everything was clear. Which was nice because you didnt need to stop and think about something.

Great piece.

[The EYE]

Damn, this was sick. I like the style you used to tell the story. I can almost feel how hard he was, deep discription. Question though, is that about you and your daughter? If it is thats one hellova description of the way you see things. You had a multitude of internal rhyming which I like to see. It flowed great in my opinion and you never really fell off any where. The thing I liked about this so much wasnt really the story line, that was great. I loved the emotion and the way you showed it. Great emotional imagrey. -out

[Born To Kill]

Yeah, that's how I spent last Friday...

Sucked.

Thanks for the feedback, people...

Much appreciated.

[STAT$]

Yo, srry about what happened to ya daughter..........i was really feelin this shit. The point you clearly made and its so true. Everything looked good the whole way through. Flow was there and was easy to keep.....which makes it easy to read. Overall nice drop keep doin yo thang!!!!

[Woogsta]

Damn. This was a powerful drop BTK. I felt it.

Hope ur daughter is doing good now, really felt the emotions in this.

Iunno what more to say, its a touchin story, i liked it.

Nice one

[crazyrapper14]

damn, that was intense, i liked it...the flow and rhyme were really good, and i could picture what you were typing the whole time, i really felt the emotion in this piece....sry about your daughter though, i hope she's alright now. keep droppin...

[Born To Kill]

Yeah...

Today at lunch will be the last visit to the doc's...

Hopefully they'll let us close the wound and heal her up for good.

We've been having to drain it 3 times a day and each time my poor baby girl screams her head off...I hold her down, wifey squeezes the wound...

I know it hurts the fuck outta her, but it's gotta be done.

This morning's drain only produced one drop, s'why we think we can close the wound now. Doc will confirm, hopefully.

It's truly sucked, people...

But thanks much for the feedback, I needed it.

Peace

[Common]

This was a real nice piece BTK I was feeling the topic and your rhyme scheme. You had some decent imagery with some nice description.

[Cels]

this was a real nice piece.. i really felt the emotion here.. really deep drop.. the topic was dope, especially comming from a fathers point of view . . good description and ya rhyme scheme was nice.. i really liked it alot..

legendary drop.

[Bloom.Quist]

Dope indeed. Basically for the truth of the story behind it. Emotion that i cannot relate with, but it is very powerful. Great job once again.