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Thread: A Letter To God. Jayembee & Sylentz (TNL)

  1. #1
     
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    A Letter To God. Jayembee & Sylentz (TNL)


    Has there ever been a point in time that you felt everything was against you.

    That nothing in your world was looking up.

    Like there's no point in continuing,

    Well...God,

    Today's that day...

    My life's one big heap of shit, livin' day to day w/o hope & I'm broke,
    I can't coupe with the pressure, my biggest fear's that I won't, & I choke,
    So I smoke on 'nis dope, in hopes to free my mind, and be a space cadet,
    While playin' my favorite tape cassette in my faded grayish tapesss deck,
    It's like a Satan's hex...no matter what I do; it's proved I can't succeed,
    So I dream for big things, but it seems I can't see, left doomed to concede.
    This can't be what it seems, so I reach for my reams, to settle my nerves,
    While I search for a cure, its absurd, how my problems cluster in herds
    And it's worse w/ words, in my verbal universe, & I can't stand it, it hurts,
    I'm sendin' my prayers-n-pairs, only to be despaired...God Damnit, I'm first,
    This is a crazy hectic world, rapist and killers... killin' boys-n-little girls,
    Some people are reaping pearls, while others are forced on drugs and swirl,
    Yer so sure I'll live...then yer livin oblivious, cause this world is living shit,
    So take this hint, and fix this quick, pfft, I thought you were given the Gift...?
    Sittin' on top, like, "I'll add it to my list", while other problems steadily exist,
    Well, "I've had enougha this piss"*swing'n my fist*, while God pleas the 5th.
    So, I'm sendin' a letter as friends, and it wasn't intentional to offend,
    But, I had to reprehend so people can live again....eventually we'll win.
    ...

    When you made the world, Did you intend for this to happen
    For the world to be an evil place, from sydney to manhattan
    Poverty and homlessness, was this all meant to be
    from manmade terror to natural diseasters in the sea
    what about all the good things, they have now all gone
    Wernt you suppose to be a good guy, The bright light that shone
    People in africa, who really do know the meaning of starving
    while we use it as a phrase, when we have never felt the meaning
    dont get me wrong you did somethings wright, they just never lasted
    what about the innocent, being seduces b evil spells that were casted
    What about the 9/11 incident, you could of stopped those planes
    and the accident in london, when down fell those cranes
    you could of stopped them, when you created the earth
    and the cruel inventions, like abortions that kill before birth
    if you were so good, then why didnt you stop all of this
    the killings and deaths of people that familys and friends miss
    And when you made mankind, why didnt you stop the disabilities
    and instead of concentrating on the evil, build up the good facilities
    and what about all the childern, subject to violent or mental abuse
    and all the infected people, and all the addicts that involve drug mis-use

    .......

    Dear God, help us kill the sin's, to help us feel like men,
    When you receive this prayer, take care, and I'll gladly toast with Jin.
    Last edited by Violent.; February 18th, 2005 at 07:13 PM

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Banned Ike Ill.'s Avatar
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    "Dear God, help us kill the sin's" - I take offense Sylentz, thats enough dissin me now.

    Other than that this was a very good piece, long as hell but nice. Good imagery, good circumstace, the ending was alright but coulda been better. I liked a lot of it, seemed to not get boring. For some reason I was attracted to it, took forfucking ever to read though forreal.

    Just a nice drop... I can see your point of view also and I agree. I cant name any flaws, it had paragraphs of nice stuff....

    Good drop... Keep it up pz.

  4. #4

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    over all this was a good peice............nice imagery...........ive seen someone do this same exact topic.......however they did it better no offense..............this was dope but ive seen better...........keep droppin though.................
    Stat

  5. #5
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    wow Overall Good piece im Lovin it like Mcdonlads LOL but 4real though keep it up bcuz You willl get betta And Maybe oneday your betta will Be best LOL

    RTF in the link in my sig

    checkcheckcheck out my melodie
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  6. #6
    ayo this dropp was mad ill ive seen this topic before too but damn i liked your betta. and i connected with it cuz i wonder them same things day to day yall keep up wat you doin

  7. #7
    yea... Red_'s Avatar
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    good shit dawg
    like the imagery adn rhyming concept and the multies in here

    liked the topik you chose overall a tight drop bro keep droppin

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    Leave a link, suckas.

    btw.

    Thank you everyone.
    You really think ur tough... come 'n try me man
    I’ll get a hiccup that isn’t spasms of the diaphragm

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    leave link

    Thanks To People So Far

  10. #10
    The True Psycho of RB
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    This was tight i enjoyed reading this.
    I like the deeper rhymes they always keep my attention.
    The structure and vocab were fine, your flow was real nice in parts espically the first few bars but then you seemed to get inconsistent with it.
    It was a deep subject you got good emotion out in the words.
    Overall a nice post.

    Return the favour.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=172018

  11. #11
    Truth.
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    I really didn't enjoy the start to this piece. But after about the 4th line I felt it really picked up and drew a medicore picture. The first verse was basic, with some on an off higher points to it. I think the verse could have been edited and really been out standing. But with that said the thing that caught me in this verse was the great deal of emotion. Wether I liked the first 6 lines or not, it was still jam packed with emotion. Which makes for a good read almost always. Good job.

    Second verse. I thought it was basic also. But a good read. Some lines were very good thoughtful lines, others were good but I really had to think about the meaning. For instance just looking deeper trying to read between the lines so I could capture everything.

    Over all, this was a good collab, you both worked wel ltogether and made a maninful piece that I did enjoy. Good job fellas.

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    Thanks So far

  13. #13
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    so true. i expereince that day to day pretty much. i often wonder if there is a god and if he is up there if he's laughing at our misfoutures but everything will look up sooner or later. i liked the piece. keep it up.

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  15. #15
    Po'Ethics
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    I wasn't really feeling the start but as it progressed it quickly picked up... Some nice imagery, story-telling, multies... I was impressed but I guess when I see the name Sylentz I expect something really really good and I'm not sure I like this as much as previous pieces you've put out.

    Don't get me wrong this is really good and I like it but I think it maybe could've been a little better, little more creative maybe. This sounds pretty harsh but I don't mean it to there's not much there to fault, maybe just the topic? I dunno.

    Peace

    I'll drop a link in a bit...
    Po'Ethics Lives

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