Dickriders...

[KaS]

i don't need dick riders, but i got a bunch of them now
everytime i unzip my pants someone gets punched in the mouth…
and any lil bitch that wants to try tah get loud
hides when I shout, realizing he’ll die with the cries of the crowd!
and these emcees are posin, lookin prepared
beware, none will be spared, so write a book with yah prayers
cuz stories of gory battles leave them shook n’ then scared
now they'll never step to me like blind kids lookin for stairs!
when I’m in a dispute I’ll use verbs and nouns in sentence
wit words and sounds as weapons while herbs get get drowned in seconds
…I don’t even know why I want these clowns respect when
My level’s so high when I die I’ll go down to heaven….


http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...31#post2162231
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176930

feed back plz

[CrazyCarl]

Had some nice rhyming, multis were in there. Keep up the wordplay, really brings up the quality of a verse like this. Topic was simple, went on self-glory. The flow was alright, could be fixed up with some editing. Vocab has room for being upped.
Keep postin

[CrazyCarl]

Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175493

[305soldier]

"wit words and sounds as weapons while herbs get get drowned in seconds"
i liked that multi right der that was pretty tight man. keep up the good work and nice flow could be upped a bit but still good.

[Lil Cap0ne]

Nice job wasn't bad keep up the good work and up your vocabulary.

[G-Money]

this was a nice piece...... ur showing skill...structure was nice, wordplay was good, but i would agree with carl on uppin ur vocab skills and making it a lil bit longer.... overall this was a decent drop.....look forward to readin some new shit.....return the favor

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176171

[KaS]

thanks for the feed

i didn't write this for text standards... it's a verse i wrote for an audio

but i'll keep that in mind for the next piece i drop


i don't have time to reply to your pieces right now.... i'm going to go take the sat in like 20 minutes, but i'll hit your threads up when i get back

appreciate it

[Issue]

Man, this wasn't all that bad.

You had potential for a different form of writing, ie, topical...
You had good multis and decent wordplay, the type of thing that are good for expressing and story telling.
The piece in itself wasn't bad, but its just played. Everyone talks about dickriders, Id like to see you tackle a real subject, use originality.

Overall, 6/10. Use your imagination and work at it, go from here, good luck.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176702
Check mine.

[KaS]

i wrote this for practice audio... lol i didn't even intend on showing it to anyone it was just to help me practice my delivery

appreciate the feed

if any of you have time please go hit up my battle with ethics... gettin slept on and needs votes

i'm checkin the links you guys left now