ironic

[verbal suicide]

aint it ironic how these niggas,
come out of no where like supasonic
smoking chronic,
choking on it like its symbolic,
you sick fuck, you need to get somewhere b4 i send you swimmin like a duck,
while you smoked this blunt,
well otha niggas on this rap game hunt,
trying to figure out where you went like albert fudd
while you from the real dirty called some mud
i dont know if its just me,
or does it seem like these cats are smoking laced trees,
coming out like they fuckin tupac,
but there lyrics are the one that got shot,
out in the parking lot of 711,
even though your rhymes went straight to hell not heaven,
although it was heaven sent,
and it looks like we do need a black president,
to get rid of these niggas going to iraq like they life in lent,
there mind definetly bent, like tha cat off of beautiful mind,
but they aint really a genius,
just smoking too much crak for it to be noticed by us,
but thats whats wrong with society today,
cats to worried about smoken weed and drinking yag,
like tupac its the way it is hay,
but we need to chill cause we are the us of a,
and im the one cat to to get you high like its 420,
but not off this herb,
its off my lyrics and intelect for sure,
as tupac and big came out of that torn shirt,
and made it big like they a rose coming from dirt,
and now thats why im here damn aint that shit ironic,
except you aint got to understand it like its a science rocket
just listen and you understand or else itll be twisted in ya mind wit a socket
or else youll be put in a gridlock ha ha

just a keystyle tell me what ya think just trying to speek my mind about shit today you hear me tell em what ya think

[CrazyCarl]

Although the rhyming was simple, the piece could have better with more descriptive set up. Writing a verse instead of a keystyle will help you to put more emphasis on the content instead of just the rhymes. It will also give you a chance to realize if you are getting to far off topic. Working on writtens will give you practice on filling the lines with detail.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=194115

[verbal suicide]

Although the rhyming was simple, the piece could have better with more descriptive set up. Writing a verse instead of a keystyle will help you to put more emphasis on the content instead of just the rhymes. It will also give you a chance to realize if you are getting to far off topic. Working on writtens will give you practice on filling the lines with detail.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=194115

well shit i know it was a keystyle but i put alot of feelings and shit to it and was like this is how it is and what you mean i get to far off topic ja hit back

[verbal suicide]

well shit i know it was a keystyle but i put alot of feelings and shit to it and was like this is how it is and what you mean i get to far off topic ja hit back

[Dan Dare]

You need to get two links to two OMs that you left solid feedback on, or this will get closed, thanks.

[Brooklyn Bob]

some nice rhymes but there was no real topic to start with but if there was you would of gottin off of it.....flow was pretty bad some ok punchlines and some poor multis...all up this piece was pretty week...try working on writin topicals not keystyles and you should improve...

5/10...sorry just my opinion