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Thread: Forgive me please

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Forgive me please

    verse one
    I could see the picture hanging from the walls of my mom
    The kind of shit I use to get in hanging with them slobs
    I must have been out of my mind.....on the corner sitting.....waiting
    For somebody to step on my lines....sometimes you have to be patient
    Cause niggas will test at your mind......you keep thinking they won't
    You will get stuck.....and in a slump blazing the pump
    You keep thinking they playing, all I'm saying is nigga don't push me
    You be lucky I'm in a good move doing my thing
    Then I won't pay attention to you, cause I'm moving the cane
    When I'm in the zone theres nothing like it, but dudes don't like me
    To busy trying to be like mike, so dudes get fiesty
    I let them eat but if they get greedy then......I air they nike's
    It's a beautiful day but I will turn on the night scene
    They keep thinking I forgot about that day in atlanta
    While they sleeping getting rest I'm practically acing the test
    It's nothing all this fronting gone get cops up early at best

    [SIZE=2] chorus
    Same story different song all I'm having is nightmares
    Every night I get visions of moms tears
    All the hard work she put in to raising me
    And all i can do is keep getting arrested and making these babies
    I hope she forgive me for the things i put her through
    Sometimes sorry isn't enough thats why I'm writing you
    Maybe if I give her sometime she might can think
    But I know tommorrow isn't promised all it takes is a blink


    verse two
    Early in the morning breaking a sweat You forget
    Where you come from and breathing is becoming a threat
    The last time I saw Ron.......was on the bottom of them steps
    But now Ronnie's missing and his girl is crying its killing my rep
    I get complaints from the block people thinking I'm lame
    I make moves But I'm going nowhere this shit isn't fair
    I stay on my post, thinking this to shall past
    But I be lying if I tell you that My block wasn't crashed
    Every night it's the same thing over and over I get visions
    Of my pastor I told him I was sober what the hell was I thinking
    If he only knew the things that this world takes me under
    I can't swim and I get drowned from the rain in the summer
    If I don't get work then I won't make it sometimes I wonder
    If I could take a rest but I can't it's to much HEAT in the rain
    My brain cracks..the clouds clear..it's sunny but I keep hearing the thunder
    I love what I been through it's taught me so much
    I wouldn't change it for nothing giving of such
    People tell me to elevate I know that I can
    Everybody in my life is pucking out I'm stepping up to the plate
    I ask GOD for forgiveness I hope I'm not to late

    [SIZE=2] chorus
    Same story different song all I'm having is nightmares
    Every night I get visions of moms tears
    All the hard work she put in to raising me
    And all i can do is keep getting arrested and making babies
    I hope she forgive me for the things i put her through
    Sometimes sorry isn't enough thats why I'm writing you
    Maybe if I give her sometime she might can think
    But I know tommorrow isn't promised all it takes is a blink

    verse three
    My mother said that she forgave me took me in
    I had no other place to go thanks to her I'm free of sin
    She put me back into church the place I NEEDED TO BE
    I feel happy I'm glad GOD'S isn't to busy to save me

    Chorus
    Same story different song all I'm having is nightmares
    Every night I get visions of moms tears
    All the hard work she put in to raising me
    And all i can do is keep getting arrested and making babies
    I hope she forgive me for the things i put her through
    Sometimes sorry isn't enough thats why I'm writing you
    Maybe if I give her sometime she might can think
    But I know tommorrow isn't promised all it takes is a blink

  2. #2
    :.There will be Blood.:
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
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    Age
    36
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    Battle Record
    3-0
    very long, but i enjoyed it... dope drop homie....
    Only thing i could see is to up ya vocab in someparts but the flow and structure was good...

    If you would, please go to the battle in my thread and vote honestly, ok? thanks

    nice drop 1
    :.Apollo .:

  3. #3
    :.There will be Blood.:
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    :.My Mama.:
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    Battle Record
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    oops... i meant to say battle in my sig....
    :.Apollo .:

  4. #4
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Houston, Texas
    Age
    38
    Posts
    5,316
    Battle Record
    15-10
    this was simple...had emotion...had imagery...too simple....i didnt like tha topic.....your piece could use some complexity and elevation....pretty long piece....you had some good emotion and imagery in this though...keep elevatin..and check out tha link in my sig titled When tha Sky Falls....id appreciate it...~1`


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  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
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    Posts
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    Battle Record
    9-8
    trying to get some more feed back on this

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