Str8 out da dome

[young nov]

i walk da block, call me mr. rogers-
got a chick addiction worst than austins father- (austin powers faja)
call me austins father-
niggas walkn around sayn they got heat-
ya weak lighters- i got guns that stretch farther then dahlsim arms off street fighter-
took classes off the street-
ya i got street wiser- got rocks the size of my fist hitn the block-
i guess thats the real meaning of a street fighter-
to much knowledge in the game- pens write wit no hand ya a ghost writer-
boo! not even a pac ghost can flow nicer-
im my pacs nothing but benjis wit me-
blades chopn like fans, turn the souf into chicago-
call it the windy city-
i stay wit it, u can say i married the chrome-
i got sic quick draw like im marion jones-
i got a new strategy, i take salaryz-
fuck up, ill blow ur stomach in da fireplace just to burn up your calories-

www.rapbattles.com/forum/str8outdadome.php

[young nov]

young nov im not skippn out on everybody thats giving me advice i give mad props to yall keep da advice coming

[Issue]

...Improve your structure. Your rhyme scheme was too complex for this piece. This seemed like a keystyle (Straight to the punch, weak lines, an easy read) This was bad man, but I think you know it. Try a topical and lose the style of writing you used here, both the structure and topic.

I'm not hating Im just telling how it is.

Uppp

[Willy B]

i heard some of those lines before....usally i wouldnt touch a keystyle with a ten foot pole but i felt like rippin into a herb so hear goes

the first bar good but i have i feelin it aint yours
overall ur keystyling keystiling dont help you elevate at the end of the day you got to improve on everything it looks like your biting witch is wack so meh

[Black Mood]

'erthang seemed aite to me, but i aint been active in while. others say u got bitten lies... boo.. thas wack!!! do like kid said and work on sum topicals but i feel u cos i like keystylin to.

[EyeBite]

well, you really need to work on flow and structure, choppy flow and way too off non even lines main it not so enjoyable to read, anywayz this wasnt that good anyway, make the topic fit with your rap, cuz this had nuthin to do with a dome, rhymes were good, vocab was not good, work on that, aiight job, just keep elevating

[young nov]

good look next tyme ill use yall advice and hopefully come wit some more betta shit

[Vicious Breed]

ive seen soem of these bars befor but thats besides the point
ur vocab wasnt great and the rhyme schme was to complex for a simple piece like this
ur structure and flow r thrown off pretty bad.. instead of a keystyle u should try topicals mayb u might have better look with em..
but this was pretty weak u need to elevate

[young nov]

thats whats good
good look, check out twisted thoughts that might be a lil betta i just drop that not to long ago

[JAIFOXX]

that was nice.