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Thread: The Onslaught Of Evil

  1. #1
    KaRtOoN
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    The Onslaught Of Evil

    ..::|Thy Kingdoms Clashing|::..
    Lurking Beneath the ground, darkness racing, Sounds of Gods angels pacing…
    The battle Roar for sky, The Devil’s Will Cry, sounds of the devils scream racing…
    Apocalypse Now, Hell is bringing it to the surface, about to terminate the purest…
    Angels getting ready for the battle, rejoicing, thinking them winning is surest…
    Hell and heaven weapons clashing, they leaving the place but leaving it blasting…
    Angels asking, “will earth be ruined after this”, or will fate be leaving it lasting…
    Back to the War On Earth, many warriors wounded and hurt, but this war is worth…
    Land wrecked with darkness and dirt, Earth’s a wasteland but was beautiful at birth…
    Lucifer’s revolt, Arch’s stopping Hellfires to a halt, it’s the fucking devils fault…
    Jolt the warriors of heaven, chances of either winning is slim, as small as salt…


    .
    ..::|Waves Of Attack|::..
    Seen from afar, Shadow Knights arising, from the clouds they go, to the city, fighting…
    Angels arrows hit direct to the source of evils, flee from the lighting, darkness biting…
    Just the start, Heavens lightning penetrates the dark, burns the devils black heart…
    Still not giving up, sends demons for a start, breaking the gates, none will depart…
    Archs take the head of the crew, swords they drew, and many have John slew…
    Violent to be true, cries out loud, saying to the each other “The Winner isn’t You”…
    Second Wave, God sends angels to flight, shooting like light, Angel generals to fight…
    Command the Elite, Down Hell they go, Devils attack with might, angels take the smite…
    Lucifers Castle wrecked, flaming eyes, a cylinder of fire, smoking angels to get higher…
    Tornado of black flame, stopping angels in there tracks, Lucifers all-ruling desire…


    .
    ..::|Diabolical Plans|::..
    Plans to take over, a massacre indeed, take the route to the secret stair, none will be seen…
    From Hell to Heaven, the stairs lead, Lucifer walking up, like stepping out, from the scene…
    Plan A is progress, devils make a diversion for their master, giving him enough time to succeed…
    The now devils been caught, talking they proceed, asking for Lucifer, and giving directions to mislead…
    Plan A was a success, they went the wrong way, instead of going the stairs, went to Hells Bay…
    Long searching for Lucifer, though He, Lucifer was close to the top, but went well on his way…
    The Archs knew they been tricked, mislead, but when they found the stairs, he was already gone…
    Thus, came dawn, none knew it was still on, so God sent a message for angels to be withdrawn…
    So God and his angels went away, not knowing Lucifer was up there now, expected the unknown…
    Lucifer finally made it to the palace, and he want to reign, and now spots Gods throne…


    .
    ..::|The Takeover|::..
    Flames ascends from Hell to Heaven, ultimately destructing Gods palace, the battle reigns…
    Angels fled, all gone, Devils made a world of pain, Chaos represents, a world gone insane…
    Lucifer marches towards Gods mighty throne, him alone, takes it, but the throne turns to stone…
    Wondering what happened, expecting ultimate control, he was booted, Lucifer was overthrown…
    Seeing Gods mighty hand, signals the running of Lucifers crew, though he stands his ground…
    Dumbfound, God sends his mighty angels to surround, horns of light, gives the heavenly sound…
    God has come back to finish this final fight, angels returning, devils burning, it’s a clash…
    Angels confident, Angels saying, “God will take him out”, “like dumping the trash.”…
    Enrages the devils anger, it’s been put up to the max, Lucifer screaming “I WILL WIN…
    Boost up, Gods heavenly strength, must save the world from sin, final fight, let the battle begin…


    .
    ..::|Final Onslaught|::..
    The clash of the mightiest, using the power of the fighting fist, but Lucifer lucks drowned…
    Already beaten to the ground, but unleashes hellfire, saying “this time your going down”…
    Hellbound not so?, he’ll be knocking off the crown, the Fire? Gods light diminishes it…
    It’s God who’s gonna finish it, the battle’s lit, angels chanting “ the devils full of shit”…
    Now the heavenly father draws his holy sword, almighty power of heaven, sends forth light…
    Struck the devils demonic body, what a smite, the demons partly dead, it’s Gods delight…
    Lucifer picks up his wicked sword, strikes God, and has taken Him to our Earth…
    God regains his power, thinking “losing is not worth” Devil get struck, Now down and hurt…
    Final battle phase, Gods raging anger of annihilating this fiend, omni-power it’s Godsended…
    Striking Lucifers demonic heart, withers away, Lucifers sinful reign has ended…………

  2. #2
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    You need 2 links to 2 open mics you've left decent feedback on or this will be closed.

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  3. #3

  4. #4
    KaRtOoN
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    uppity up

  5. #5
    KaRtOoN
    Guest
    cmon wat da hell

  6. #6
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    i liked the strcuutre all the lines had the same, i liked that, creatuve too, flow was smooth, rhymes were good, i liked this a lot, topic was really good too, im impressed, i think this overall rating is around a 8 and a half, good drop man, i was feelin it all the way, keep it up and keep eleavating

  7. #7
    i couldnt catch the flow, on some honest shit you need to work on ya structure, flow and wording, you had some cool concepts but you just didnt use them well, still need some elevation, no offense, just calling it how i see it,the lines were pretty much all stretched, this piece was pretty bad in my opinion, i hope you up your game, just shorten ya lines and work on ya flow.

    God has come back to finish this final fight, angels returning, devils burning, it’s a clash…
    Angels confident, Angels saying, “God will take him out”, “like dumping the trash.”…
    Enrages the devils anger, it’s been put up to the max, Lucifer screaming “I WILL WIN…
    Boost up, Gods heavenly strength, must save the world from sin, final fight, let the battle begin…


    ^^best lines.

    elevate
    Olama 09

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    yo it was kinda hot it had a good structure goin and a pretty ok flow

  9. #9
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    leave better feedback

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