The Funeral Of God

[Moniker]

The Funeral Of God

We sleep in the chapel
only to awake inside a bombshell.
Can you hear the church bells
over the sirens? over the silence?
I've never seen violence so vibrant.
Soon they'll hide the gravestones
in the highways and roads
and we'll pave our own way to hell;
traveling in earths slow spiral.

Behind a trail of fire you'll find
the burning eyes of liars on trial.
The incense of innocence is
filling nostrils with a stale smell.
While we walk down the aisle
church hospitality grows hostile,
whores can be defiled by their smiles
and pastors brought to pasture
like a lamb to slaughter.

What a gentle sided genocide
we guide our society towards,
for generations learn to curse love
but hate is also a four letter word.
It's a sermon better heard in brialle.
Fingers held against a kings three nails,
as faith fails the ageing athiest who learned
God left certain prayers unanswered.
So they curse church as tears tear a whole
in their hymnal, with no candle
or lamplight to follow home.

Pick up your cross-roads where
the wide meets narrow.
Read this parable to the deplorable
as we ordane the ordinary
and proclaim only whats
deemed appropriate at the pulpit.

This is for those who can't face the facade,
that all this was said from the funeral of God.

[HaZy]

this was actually a very decent read
and i dont belive i persoanlly have ever seen this topic quite written this way
i do feel you were a bit low on teh descritpion i would have loved to felt more involved in the story

however i do think this was a refreshing piece with alot ot offer
only advice to give is try making it stand out more to the reader give it some edge something to catch the eye and keep it there

[TwixSin]

i really liked this peice... havent seen you flow like this before... had awesome rhyme... with almost multie sounding rhymes... great work here keep it up man... you prob one of the best on the site... not you dickride or anything :P

cool read.

[Neruda II]

I liked it man. I really did. At first the rhyme scheme bothered me because it semmed a little too simple, and I haven't really read much from you lately that has a AABB rhyme scheme. After a while though, the rhyme scheme grew on me and it felt natural, the rhyming words didn't stick out like a sore thumb, it was a very natural thing. I loved your syntax, as always, choice words and strong diction. The structure was on par. Very simple and basic but easy to follow. I liked that. The idea and concept was fresh, at least to these forums. It felt like a social commentary to me, something that you do really feel. That's what I like about you as a poet, none of your work is something fictional, I mean, it's fictional, but the emotion and thought you put into it are very real and something that I think affects your life. I'm impressed by the depth of the poem, so many different shades of humanity in a poem titled The Funeral Of God. Great work mindless.

[Dan Dare]

This is a very intelligent piece you've directed me to here, I'm impressed - although it seems a bit unfinished. You had something to say here, and I think you went some way toward saying it. Good simple structure, with some great wording, syntax and diction. This was a very straightforward piece, in a lot of ways, but well written, with use of imagery and figurative language. I think this could still use some more work, it's lacking something special, but this was a nice read as a starting point.

[Moniker]

much appreciation to all those who commented and left feed.

[Moniker]

up?

[ITawAPuddyKat]

Man finally some intelligent piece to read. This is good, very complex, well written, and your approach was decent. The imagery is what got me hooked on to your poem. To tell you the truth, this kinda gave me more inspiration to write poems or OM's...Thank you

[GANGSTA DISCIPLE]

Very Nice
I Liked Your Topic And How You Commented On One Thing
Man How Do You Think Of Stuff Like That
Overall I'd Give You A 9/10

Hey You Guys Should Check Out My Pieces